ace rants

Take a hint

Omfg, I'm past trying to even make this sound like a thought out chapter or whatever. I'm so done. I have left close to every possible hint that I am ace for my mom, and guess who still thinks I'm straight.

I have made it clear MULTIPLE TIMES that I hate romantic shows, plots, drama, whatever. I don't like it, and she is WELL aware. 

I've also told her that I am never going to have sex or have biological kids. Multiple times. 

I've mentioned that I don't want to get married, and instead live with a roommate that I'd be friends with.

When I was smiling really big, and she asked if it was because of a boy, instead of blushing  or even giving a versatilely interpreted "ew no," I just looked confused, and then disgusted, and then annoyed. And this has also. Happened. Multiple. Times.

I still tell her that I don't want to be hugged/kissed (Not that she listens but whatever)

I act SUPER bored whenever there's some big sappy romantic conversation bullshit going on, and I am VISIBLY uncomfortable whenever there's a sex scene. I mean as in getting up and going away from the TV (In her defense, though she literally has none because she's acting irrationally oblivious at this point, I "disguise" it as getting food from the pantry or water or something).

I gave her a very long, in-detail explanation of gender and sexuality, with noticeably more information than asexuality and aromanticism than any other sexuality/romantic orientation. 

And you know, if that wasn't enough, I FUCKING CAME OUT TO HER.

But guess who's who's totally absolutely straight? Me, apparently.

I don't even know why I'm so frustrated about this, because it should be good that I seem normal. But I've given her So. Many. Clues. And I feel like if she's ignoring it at this point, she just doesn't want to believe it. Like she thinks it's a bad thing or something. And oh my god my parents are so structured around typical romantic relationships. Meet someone, date a few years, get married, sleep in the same bed (My cousin mentioned that my aunt and uncle sometimes sleep in different rooms and you should have seen the look my parents gave them). 

And for whatever reason I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable with hugs, and now they're acting like the only way I can show my love for them is through hugs, and it's just like I've literally spelled this out for you guys. 

My parents are SO focused on "tradition." And not religious or family or anything, just societal traditions. Go to college right after high school, get married, have kids, have a good job, stay married, and retire together. Well I don't have much of an interest in three of those six, so I'm just not really doing to great.

I'm tired and I have a really bad sunburn that I know my parents will be  f u r i o u s  about if they find out about it, so that's probably adding to my annoyance too