ace rants

Don't take my insecurities to heart please :)

Ok so this is just something I'm kind of insecure about, and I realize that there are quite a few new aces on here, so just like...... this is bullshit. This is my insecure teenage ass being irrationally insecure. 

Anyway continuing, here's my problem. I told (more clarified ig) my friend that I'm AROace (I now think I'm aroace but honestly who even knows at this point????? I just want a slip of paper or something with my actual romantic attraction written on it), and she said aww we can't go on double dates with two best friends

She said a bunch of stuff before that, but that parts not important. I love her a ton and don't blame her at all because I'd rather her be truthful and honest than passive-aggressive by a million times, but like wow huh. Last year my friend group was primarily asian kids, and they were all concerned about HoW aSiAn ThEy WeRe, so they didn't date white people because that would make them less asian or something. And that actually worked out really well for me because I had a reason not to date anybody, but people are getting some common sense and realizing that making out does not in fact change your race. But that sucks because now it opens up the possibility of me dating people. 

I feel like I'm disappointing other people by my asexuality too. As I said before, with congress, I'm the only girl, and yeah all of them except Eyal are incels, but like I feel I'm ruining their opportunity or whatever by being ace. To clarify, I don't care about them as much as that last sentence made it seem, but this sounds like the plot to some movie or something in which I'd be a main character, so the real main reason is because I'm an attention whore :)

But also if I liked Eyal for example, that would be so convenient. We have a bunch of classes and congress together so we spend a bunch of time together which is good for dating especially because we both barely have free time, and Eyal's a good person.

And he also gets why dating is bullshit, so he wouldn't get caught up in all the stuff that dating is supposed to be. In other words he wouldn't be hurt if I didn't stay up super late to FaceTime him or any of that. 

Wow so I now realize I'm just saying that asexuality and aromanticism is generally incompatible with society and that that's annoying, so news flash!! We live in an amatonormative society!! Wow!!

Yet another reason that we should all start a new country and do away with all this bullshit :)

By the way can y'all comment or message me or something if you're from England or the UK? I need to know what candy y'all don't have there