ace rants

I'm Back

I am back.

Okay, so first off, I have an idea: personally, one of the reasons I doubt that I'm asexual is because asexuality is not "normal," and I feel normal, so how could I be ace? But the thing is, asexuality is different than society's collective normal. My personal normal is asexual because I've always been asexual. I don't feel different because I've always felt ace.

Also, I'm kind of in denial of everything. Mainly, I keep telling myself sexual attraction isn't real. You see abs and feel tingly? That doesn't make much sense. Everyone must be asexual. And I know this sounds dumb, but there are times when I nearly completely believe it. It almost feels like a coping method. It's not just that. I'll also tell myself that people's bodies stop where their clothes start and stuff like that, and it makes me feel better in sexualized situations. A LOT better. I don't think it's particularly harmful to anyone, so I'd recommend doing it too if you're uncomfortable. But does anyone know why I'm doing this or why it helps?