It's Complicated

I Have Problems Too

Jay POV

I could feel my body frozen in its state. I tried to control my breathing. No one is supposed to know who I am. No one can know. It is too dangerous.

"Jay?" The voice asked again.

I slowly looked up. My mind and body didn't want to agree with what was happening. I didn't want this to be happening right now. The risks were too high. Master Wu always said that I could put people in serious danger.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Lloyd asked as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm not supposed to. No one is supposed to know." I managed to gasp as I felt my body slowly shake.

"I can understand that, Jay. I'm not mad at you." Lloyd said as he squatted down to my eye level.

"Is that what you have been doing with Wu? The training thing, I mean." Lloyd asked after a minute.

"You know that fight Cole had with Morro and Nadakhan?" I finally said.

"Yes." Lloyd said in confusion.

"I have been training with Wu since that. I actually started showing my powers before that. I almost hurt Nya from that." I whispered, like a robber being caught in the scandal.

"You seem very nervous. This explains why you haven't been yourself lately. All of the Blue Ninja stuff with the people talking and trying to find out who you are must put you on edge." Lloyd said as he slowly started to piece everything together.

"I am never myself. I don't even really know who I am. All of my life, I have been told what to do. I have been on a leash. I don't really know how to do things for myself. We always have to move. I know acting smart may be who I am, but that doesn't really feel like me. I would like to be like any other teenager, and wake up to play video games every single day, you know?" I confessed.

"I understand. I have several problems to." Lloyd said as he looked away.

"What do you mean? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I said, scared that I crossed a line.

"My Father, he is not the most sensible man. My Father is the Brother of Wu, and while I was growing up, he was gone to his School. He would travel the world. My Moms job requires her to do moving too. By the time I was 7, she started leaving me at my Uncles. Sometimes, I wonder if I am just a burden to them." Lloyd finally admitted.

"Life makes you feel like everything is against you. Like when there are those times in your life when you ask yourself if it would really just be easier if you ended it all. If you just gave up and went with the flow of everything in nature." I said as I looked at the trees.

"Where you feel like you could just greet death like an old friend. I know the feeling. However, we cannot do that. There are so many people who count on us. There are so many people that count on you. These battles that you are facing will eventually make you stronger. You will always come out the winner in the end. That is what it shows in my comic books." Lloyd said as he broke out a smile.

"My parents aren't home, do you want to come over? We could play Lava Zombie." I asked after a minute.

"And skip school?" Lloyd asked confused.

"School is boring and stupid anyway. As you said, it isn't like our parents are going to know anyway. If Wu asks, just say you weren't feel well." I replied with a shrug.

"Sure Dude."  Lloyd said as he started talking about the comic book he was reading.\

I guess that I am not the only one with problems. However, I wish people could see that I am also the one where the problems are deeper and more complex. I wish that people would see that there are Monsters in the world. That there are things that are beyond the control of the human eye. Am I the problem?

Am I the Monster?