It's Complicated

Birthday Gone Wrong

Jay POV

"Happy Birthday!" Libbie yelled as she walked into my bedroom.

After last nights sneak out, I couldn't get that much sleep. Libbie and Cliff didn't know what I did, not that it really mattered to them what I was doing. I was on lockdown for until at least Ed was caught, though we all knew that I could take care of myself if it came to it. I didn't like the thought of zapping Ed though. It didn't seem like the right thing to do in any situation.

"It's too early, Libbie." I announced as I turned to my side.

"It is our first birthday with you, and we want it to be perfect. It will make up for all of the ones that we missed. So, get up and get ready to party. Your friends will be over soon." Libbie announced as she walked out again.

I couldn't help but groan. I didn't like celebrating my birthday at all. We never really did at Ed and Edna's. We always had to move around, and there really just wasn't anytime to do it. The only tradition that I had on my birthday was that I would build something with them. It was something that I always looked forward to doing each year. This year though, I am going to have to do it by myself. It took some of the magic away, but I tried not to think of it. There was no point in getting weepy now.

I walked down the stairs and looked out the window. It was going to rain soon, and that made me feel uneasy. I felt as though something bad was going to happen. I couldn't help but think back to my dream that I had last night. 

I was trapped in that cube again. It was always the starting point in my dreams. Then, it would change completely based on it. I would have other people's memories, sometimes memories of people that I have never even met before. It made me really nervous to even think about it. Last night, the setting was in a storm at this house. I couldn't decide if it was a memory or a warning, but I had a feeling that it was both. It was always both with me. I just couldn't catch a break, no matter the special occasion.

"What is with the face? You shouldn't feel worried on your birthday, son. No one is getting in here who isn't supposed to." Cliff asked as he came and stood beside me.

"I just think.... Do you believe in warning signs?" I quickly changed topics.

"Warning signs? I guess it just depends, Jay. I wouldn't freak out about Ed if that is what is bringing this on. Is everything okay?" Cliff asked, suddenly concerned.

"Everything is fine. I'm just tired and I guess paranoid." I said as I rubbed my neck, a little embarrassed.

"Don't worry, Jay. You have every right to be paranoid, but everything is going to be fine. Don't let what is happening right now control your life." Cliff said with a sad smile as he looked towards Jay and the hesitantly walked away.

"If only it were that easy." I mumbled to myself as I looked up towards the clouds.

It felt like everything was coming at me from all angles these days. It always felt like that. It was like my past was coming to haunt me. Truth be told, I wanted to have a good time with my friends. I just knew that it wouldn't be possible. Something was bound to go wrong. Everything that is happening is controlling my life. It feels like everything but myself is controlling my life.

We are left with a job. We are left to carry the legacies of those before us and to make a brighter future for the other generations. We are left with the job to make sure that we are there tomorrow. I should be able to take control of my life, yet that is far from the realities. Truth be told, dreams almost never come true. We all have a part to play in life, and sometimes, the part we have to play is the part that we don't want to. 

I looked down from the clouds when I heard the gates open. I saw Kai's car pull through with everyone inside. I tried to stay positive as I watched them get out, but I just couldn't do it. I felt as though I was being strangled by my own emotions. I waved at them as they waved at me, before I backed away and made sure I was out of view. I had a show to put on.