It's Complicated

Trauma

Jay POV

"You know that I have a different brain than most people." I said as I pulled Nya to my lap.

"Yes. It is why you moved so much." Nya confirmed as she looked towards me.

"It was passed down from Libbie. The scientists didn't know that at the time. I didn't know I was adopted. Edna and Ed always called it a gift, but I never understood it. It didn't make sense. I didn't believe in things like that." I said as I looked towards the wall.

"And they got curious?" Nya asked as she looked looked towards the wall with me.

Jay POV 5 Years Ago

"I don't get it. I thought that we didn't have an appointment today, Pops." I mumbled as we walked towards the car.

I didn't think much about it at the time. Ma was away with Borg in Ninjago City, and I thought that we cancelled all of our appointments because of it. She always came to them with me incase something went wrong. Occasionally, we had appointments like this, but I thought for sure that he would have flat out told them no.

"I know, Jay. It just seemed urgent when they called last night. I would have told you, but you were already asleep, and you have such a hard time with sleep. Your Mom knows that we had to leave. She is sorry that she couldn't come to todays." Ed said with a sad smile.

There was something odd with the way that he looked at me. I didn't understand that look. He was keeping something from me, and I could tell. I had been picking up on these things for as long as I could remember. I didn't know what he was planning, but it gave me an unsettling feeling. 

When I had a feeling like that, I  used to be able to talk to someone about it. Nelson seemed to be the only person who could understand me, but now he is gone. I had to figure out how to move on by myself. It was bound to happen anyway. Nelson and I weren't getting along when he was here anymore anyway. It all started because of those people he met.... It didn't matter.

"Hi Jay. How are you today?" Marissa asked as she looked towards me.

"Tired." I stated as I looked towards the sky.

The Sun hadn't even made its presence known yet. I felt so exhausted. I really hadn't slept well last night. The nightmares got really bad when Ma was away. She always protected me from the monsters that wanted to devour me, even the monsters that were found within myself. 

"Sit here, Jay." Jack said as he put some metal straps around my legs and arms.

"What are you doing? This isn't the general test." I asked as I felt my heartbeat go faster.

"Everything is going to be okay, Jay. It is all going to be okay, soon." Jack whispered as I felt myself slip into unconsciousness. 

I was in a cube. Lightning bounced around it and I couldn't get out. I was confused. I didn't know I was asleep. I thought that something had went wrong. I didn't realize that it was a message. I don't know what the message was for. I suddenly woke up with a gasp as I my eyes shot open.

"He is awake!" 

"The drugs aren't working fast enough." 

"Cut his head open. It is the only way to get the drugs in!"

"That is dangerous."

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I shouted as I fought. 

"The gas. Someone get me the gas. Someone else, start from the back of his head. We can attach the tube in that way." 

It was dark again. When I finally woke up again, I thought it was all just a dream. I woke up in my bed. When I looked in the mirror though, I saw it. A big scar that would be left only from the tube. I felt my hand slightly trace the mark. Lightning flashed outside, and tears fell from my face. I wanted to wish it all away, and yet I couldn't. Life wasn't that kind. It was cruel.

Jay POV

"I'm so sorry, Jay. You shouldn't have had to go through that." Nya gasped as she pulled me into a hug.

"It's okay. Most of it is foggy anyway." I lied, which she didn't notice.

"Why would Edna still be with Ed? It doesn't make any sense." Nya asked as she looked up towards me.

"I didn't tell her. She was happy with Ed. I didn't want to take away that." I whispered as I looked out the window.

 We sat in silence. I seemed fascinated with the window, and truthfully I sort of was. I was looking out for Ed. There was no way in hell that he was killing me. Not without a fight anyway. I might be an Elemental Master, but I am still a human. I still was very much capable of dying.

"Who was Nelson? You mentioned him in the beginning." Nya asked softly.

"He was my brother. You saw the news. He would be my age now. He started acting different a week before he disappeared. We got into a huge fight on that night, and his body was found a few days later. It was always the greatest mistake of my life. That was why I really became a Ninja. I didn't want something like that to ever happen again. It was the other reason why I didn't tell Edna about what happened. We never recovered after his death." I admitted softly as I reached for the back of my head and traced the scar.

"It wasn't your fault for what happened. The man who did that was the monster, not you." Nya said as she placed her head on my shoulder.

"I know that, Nya. I can't help but wonder what if. I think anyone in that situation would think the same way. It is always our job to protect the people we love. I think I will always wonder what if?" I said as I kissed the top of her head.

I knew I was lying to the both of us when I said it wasn't my fault. He would be here if I had just let it be. I should have listened to Ed and Edna that night. He would have been here if I did. It wasn't his fault that he was dead. It was all my fault. I knew that, which was why I always denied that we fought. That is why it is never in the reports.

I traced my scar in the back of my head. She felt bad for me, and I didn't want her to. It wasn't her fault that my life was shit. It hasn't been shit since we came to Ninjago City. I didn't know everything was going to hell in the next 72 hours. A Birthday Celebration. A Living Nightmare. A Missing Person. A Gang Gone Wrong. A Past to Escape From.