It's Complicated

Restrained

Wasn't originally going to do a Jay chapter right now, but I decided that we should do a check in with our favorite blue Ninja. We haven't heard from him in a little bit. Again, this is going to be a shorter chapter.

Jay POV

When googling the term restrained, it pulls up 'prevent (someone or something) from doing something; keep under control or within limits.' I cannot help but reflect on that little word as I look around the blackness that surrounds me. I don't know how long I have been in this chair with metal around my wrists. Time has stopped here, and you wouldn't be able to tell if anything was living here with me besides the marks that were left on my arms and legs.

Restrained is a verb. It is a verb that signal handedly describes every moment of my life. I never had the choice to do anything. I was forced to do everything that I lived through. I only agree from the first part of the definition based on my life. I was never in control or in my limits here. My life was practically someone else's to live for all I cared. I never actually made a decision in it. Being trapped here made me realize that. 

It was never my choice to become a Ninja. That was fate's choice. It was never my choice to fall for Nya. That was also fate to find my other half. The 2 things that controlled my entire life was other people or fate. I absolutely hate fate. I feel as though fate and other people decided to get together to make my life more of a living hell. It had to happen on my birthday in which I could have had a good time. 

I couldn't have been here for very long, but it feels like years. Time moves so slowly in these restraints in which I have found myself in. I cannot help but pity myself as I look at the marks on my wrist that were left by the metal bars. I couldn't feel multiple parts of  my body anymore. I don't know why I decided to wake up. Perhaps I should have chosen to continue to swim in that abyss. It was probably a lot more comforting in there than it was in the real world.

I wonder what is taking them so long. I wonder if they were in on this. It would make sense if they were in on it somehow. Everyone wanted to tear apart my life anyway. It made sense for them to want to do that to me. I might not understand the motive, but with my life, who knows. Everyone wanted me to suffer. 

I wasn't just physically restrained, I decided. I also decided that I was emotionally and mentally restrained too. I don't know what brought it up though. It probably had something to do with how I was raised. Perhaps it was the trauma I felt Ed second handed me when giving me to those doctors. Maybe it was Nelson. He seemed to be the catalyst for all of these events to happen to me. My life was okay before he passed. Never normal, but more normal than it is now. 

"I wouldn't try and get out of those if I were you. You're going to make the boss angry." A voice snarled as it approached.

"Why would it matter? What do you guys want from me?" I asked, my tears long gone at this point.

"All will be revealed in time. You are lucky that it is me that is bringing you to the Boss now. Nadakhan wouldn't have been so kind." The voice chuckled as he went and grabbed me from the chains.

"It would be kind if you could let me go." I begged silently, looking towards this man in fear. 

"Don't worry. It will all be over soon. Nighty night Blue Ninja." The voice whispered as I felt my vision blur together.

Not again...