KING OF TORMENTS [Completed]

CHAPTER 53

I gently stroked his cheeks. Mamula-mula pa rin ito sa labis na kalasingan. May bakas pa ng luha ang kaniyang mukha. His eyebrows twisted and it made me sighed. Kahit sa pagtulog ay parang problemado siya. He was already sleeping inside his room, but his face remained troubled.

I was actually thankful that Vain and Thatum found us. Hindi na kami nakapag-usap pang tatlo at basta na lang nilang inalalayan si Davil nang makita ang sitwasyon namin. Malalim na ang gabi ng makabalik kami sa King's Edifice. Hindi ko na nga alam kung ilang oras ba kaming nanatili ni Davil doon. Hindi ko na rin alam kung ano'ng oras na. I couldn't sleep because of many thoughts that were running in my head, so I ended up watching him sleep.

Napabuntong hininga ako. Even without conscious his hand held mine. Kanina ko pa ito tinatangkang alisin ngunit mahigpit ang pagkakahawak niya. He had even mumbled something everytime I had attempted.

It pained me to see him like this, scared and paranoid. Ngayon ko lang siya nakitang ganito katakot. I should be flattered because he was scared to lose me but I could not feel it. He proved me his sincerity when it came to what he really felt, but at the same time, he also emphasized how valuable Dale in my life. Alam ko naman iyon kasi kahit wala talaga akong alaala sa kaniya sa kadahilanang hindi ko rin alam, ay may kung anong emosyong palaging ibinibigay ang pangalang iyon sa akin. It only lessened when I got out from hospital, maybe because Davil had always occupied my mind.

Now, I was scared too. Hindi naman matatakot ng ganito si Davil kung hindi talaga malaki ang papel ni Dale sa buhay ko. I really wanted to know him, but it made me nervous just by thinking how the revelation might shock the hell out of me. Was Dale's identity too powerful to the point that I could leave this man that easy if I would know? He was so scared and certain about it.

Umayos ako ng higa at humarap sa kaniyang direksiyon. I gently combed his tousled hair using my fingers. I smiled when his lips protruded in a cute way. He mumbled something I didn't hear clearly. Bahagya pang nagkasalubong ang kaniyang mga kilay. This adorable freak!

"Iwuvyu..." his eyebrow relaxed a bit. Gumalaw siya at yumakap sa akin.

Napanguso ako para pigilan ang aking ngiti. Minsan napapatanong ako kung bakit hindi siya nagsasawang sabihin 'yan. Aside sa napaka-out of character, ni minsan hindi ko ito sinuklian ng sagot. I didn't want to answer him because even myself didn't want to acknowledge my real feeling. Still, I was certain that the feeling I had invested in Blaze would surely pale in comparison compare to what I had for Davil.

I was not really a sweet person and it made me cringed to think if I would be one. I was alien in came to showing affection to the people around me. I grew up without receiving affection from the first people who should showered me with it. My parents have always made me feel like I was a puppet in their will and a marionette that would always abide them. Precisely, that was the reason why I couldn't give assurance to Blaze when we were still in a relationship, and until now, it was still the reason why I couldn't answer Davil. How can I give something I didn't have in the first place?

Binitiwan ko na ang buhok niya nang makaramdam na ako ng antok. I leaned my head on his chest. I felt his embrace tightened around me. There were only two sets of arms that made me felt comfort and security; Lush and Davil.

I smiled. In a tiny voice, I spoke.

"I love you, too."

He would not know, but at least, I answered him.

***

I woke up in Davil's humming voice near my ear. I was expecting groans from him because of hangover, but maybe, his really tough because he still had the energy to sing. Hindi ko pa man nabubuksan ang aking mga mata ay napangiti na ako. He really knew how to sing and I fucking love his voice! Hindi ko alam kung aware ba siya na may maganda siyang boses o hindi. Tahimik lang akong nakikinig. He continued to sing while I was pretending I was asleep.