Romeo's Balcony (raura)

Chapter 37 If Its Just Me

Ross' pov

Depressed.tearful.saddened.

When did the day come that i was at the midst of crying over a girl. I remember the times that i would sometimes laugh after crushing a girl's heart. But of course, this doesnt apply to laura.

The special girl of my life. The only one that stood a chance to even make my heart beat. To make me smile even at my worst. To make me laugh at the simplest things.

To make me realize....that i love her.

I've left 100 voice messages,100 texts. Stayed up all night, constantly checking my glass window to see if she would open hers. All through my life, i've never gave this much effort on a girl.

She affects me in a way that i dont understand. Everything that dont makes sense about me, makes sense when im with her. Every blurry image that blocks my mind, is visualized with her,and only her.

I thought about not going to school, for a day, a week, a year. But i figured, if thats the only way i could see her.....then be it.

I was waiting outside, seated at my front doorstep to wait for her to come out. She probably doesnt want to see me for a while, but i dont care. Let her father kill me, she's worth it.

As the minutes passed a brunette headed petite girl came out her house and immediately saw me. My head perked up and i stood quickly.

She stared at me for a few seconds before turning her head and quickly walking to the road to school. I of course followed her. Keeping my distance.

For one thing, im sure she knows im following her. Im not that kind of guy who would want to be screamed at for being to obsessed. I want her to feel that even if we're not dating that she could feel my presence, my protection, my persistence to make her be with me again.

She never looked back, kept her eyes on the sidewalk the whole walk to school. I didnt care thou, its better than being said to 'stop following me' or 'leave me alone'

Call me stubborn whatever, call me what you want. I dont care. I've earned to much feelings for her, and i wont just let that go to waste.

----ROMEO'S BALCONY----

From algebra, to statistics, to lunch, to chemistry. I was 10 feet away from her. When she goes to the bathroom, i would patiently wait outside.

She didnt seem to mind. Although there are times where she glances up to me a little. Like at lunch, she sat with raini and calum and i guess they were talking about why i was seated at a different table.

At the end of the day, few people were left in the halls. She was fixing her locker as i leaned on the locker across from her. I could still see our pictures posted on the side of her locker door.

This day may have been great. From a rating of 1-10 i'll give it a 5. I got to look after her without being pushed away.

Well for a moment i thought i was happy.

She closed her locker and gives me a small eye contact before walking out the school as i followed.

I could see her hug her books in her arms as she bows her head trying to walk faster.

People giving us weird looks as we pass by. The word was already out, i think it was raini who told everyone.

Somehow its a good and a bad thing. Good, because no one will mistakenly call us a couple. Bad, because we arent a couple.

As i continue following her outside the school parking lot she stops. And so did I.

She looks back. For the first time today. Slowly turning her body to face me. Lifting her head from the ground.

Ross: h-hey. (I say casually)

Could this be an actual conversation upcoming. Or just another moment to be lectured at.

Laura: what are you doing....

I took a few steps closer but she backed away, i stopped and raised my hands up in surrender.

Laura:stop following me...

Ross: im just trying to get home.

Laura's face broke my heart, it was like her expression was saying 'dont you get it?'

Laura:ross, you cant..

Ross:i cant what? (I say cutting her off)

She was speechless at first, not knowing what to say, i dont want to scare her or anything.

Ross: laur i wanna talk.

Laura: im late for dinner. (She says turning around and started walking)

I then didnt mind the distance anymore, i ran towards her and blocked her.

Ross: is it me?!

She bows her head and passes by me b i ran and blocked her again.

Ross:laura talk to me! Is it me?!

Laura: ross leave me alone. (She says while passing by me again)

Leave me alone, 3 words that made my heart shatter into a million pieces. I never thought of the day that i would hear that come out of her mouth.

I didnt follow her, i stood as i watch her take few steps away.

Ross:LAURA I COULD CHANGE!

She stops in her tracks, a good 10 feet away. Enough for me to hear her voice. She turns her head to face me.

Ross:look, i've already changed ALOT, because off you......and im willing to change more JUST FOR YOU! (I say with my voice almost cracking)

She looks at me with saddened eyes. Waiting for her turn to response felt like a century. But what shocked me is, she did.

Laura: ross, i dont want you to change. I love you for who you are.

Ross: but the guy i am right now is the guy you cant be with.

Slight shivers went on my body as i freed those truthful words.

Ross:laura,....you have to understand, I.Cant.I CANT. Loose you.

Her lips are shaking as her eyes stare at mine. I cant loose her not now. Not forever.

Laura:and you have to understand, that you're holding on to someone who's letting go.

My chest rapidly started going up and down with panic. I felt like i was about to die at this moment.

Ross:laura please.......please dont say that....

A teardrop went down my eye as i beg for her to stay.

Laura:ross im the one who changed. I changed into something sooo opposite of me, because of you. And i loved it. But thats not the person everyone wanted me to be.

Ross:laura dont listen to other people! i love you.....

Laura:thanks for everything.

Ross:laura.....

She turns back her direction home. The place where im also headed. But i didnt follow her oh no. I ran the opposite direction. Not knowing where to go, where my feet leads me. I just wanna run. To wherever stupid place comes to mind.

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