Whatever Happens |Kyman • Stenny • Creek|

Chapter 29: Butters' Very Own Chapter

"I got a feeling that I can't seem to shake; Stuck on repeat, it's all I play; It's like there's always rain clouds waiting for me; And I've; got this itch I wanna scratch; It's like a flu I can't uncatch; A phantom pain hurts so bad that it's surreal."

~Butters' POV~

I was the very first one to leave Eric's house, as I always was. This time felt different to me, though. Nobody picked on me or made me do gross stuff. Kyle even asked me if I was okay earlier. Well, I can most definitely say that I'm the furthest thing from okay.

Not only was it weird for me to hang out with a group of people that kind of accept me, but it was also weird for me to hang out with people who saw me as an easy target. People who saw me as the only way to accomplish their sick deeds and desires.

I used to be the kid who was friends with the world. I was raised to be nice to people I  knew, and to be even nicer to people I didn't know. Even when I established my alias, Professor Chaos, following the rejection I faced from Kyle, Stan, and Eric, I still acted nicely toward them while not in costume.

Nothing can ever compare to the hurt I felt that day when they dumped me. They literally went through extreme lengths to find somebody that was "better than me".

In the middle of my walk home from Eric's house, I found myself squeezing my chest and crying tears while also leaning against a stop sign. It's understandable that we were just kids and kids are always harsh when it comes to being honest about their feelings, but it still hurts. It turned me into the person I am today. A teenage boy with no close friends. A teenage boy who always gets hurt even after putting the best foot forward and being there for people. A teenage boy who's grown to distrust anyone and everyone he knows and doesn't know.

My parents are most likely asleep right now, so it gave me an opportunity to sneak up to my window without them noticing me. They don't know that I snuck out to hang out with everyone. They're always grounding me for one reason or another, and over the years, I just started rebelling against it. All they would ever do is raise their voices at the most obedient child in South Park. The only obedient child who would never hurt a fly and yet gets stepped all over as if he were a fly.

My tears intensified as more realizations I came across started hitting me. As a kid, I was naive and always thought the world offered nothing but good to me. As it turns out, I was wrong. Completely wrong.

I reached my house by midnight, which is alright I guess. The ladder I used to climb down was still against the house by my window, which shows that my parents don't know I'm gone.

As quietly as I could, I climbed up to my window and opened it enough for me to squeeze inside. One leg after the other and I was in.

I closed my window and shut the curtains. The tears were still running from my eyes and across my cheeks to my chin. A few of them even dripped from my chin onto my jacket. Nothing seemed to make sense to me anymore. Everything I've ever thought when I was younger was contradicted and thrown away by the time I got to high school. Having everything thrown at me at once is what's making this whole thing hurt.

After changing into a pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt, I reached under my bed and pulled out a six-pack of beer. I don't normally drink around other people because I learned that I could be an emotional drunk, so I mostly did it at home. I'd have a few sips when hanging out with some friends, but I'd never go overboard like I'm about to right now.

I have more than just a six-pack under my bed. I know someone who's old enough to buy beer and he usually sells it to me at a good price. We have to meet in secret for obvious reasons, but otherwise it's fairly easy to get a hold of these things.