Dynamite Touch (18+) Book 1

37

A/N: A bunch of bombs were dropped in the last chapter. How do we think Cameron is going to handle all of it? Vote and enjoy this chapter, shitheads! 💋

~*~

Addled.
  Adj.
Unable to think clearly; confused.

Scout glanced at me with a weary look. I took in a deep breath to calm my itching nerves and stood up from the bench swing. My feet were killing me from climbing bare-foot up the tree earlier. I leaned against the wall and placed my face in my hands as silent tears of stress slipped from my eyes. I felt my sister's hand on my shoulder as she continued inside the house, leaving me to deal with the information by myself.

I sniffled as the tears kept coming and slid down the wall, falling to my butt as my knees dug into my chest. How will I finish college knowing what I know? Mia is dead, I killed her. Dean... a friend is dead. How will I continue?

After what seemed like hours of tears pouring from my eyes, I heard the shuffling of feet beside me. I snapped my head up and my blurry vision focused on Elliott. My heart started hammering as the stern look on his face softened, "Cameron... can we talk?"

I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was adrenaline that caused me to be so bold, but it felt like word vomit, "Don't you think we should've talked before you had sex with me? I was better off without all of this!"

The hurt look on his face didn't go unnoticed but I didn't stop there, no... I continued digging in. It made me feel better, to vent and rant angrily at the source of my problems.

"You knew everything I went through! I told you about Noah and how I spiraled, going through the worst part of my entire life! I relived it and witnessed that man kill my former best friend right in front of me! In cold blood! Then proceed to blow his bloody head off two feet away from me! I trusted you, I gave you my mind, my trust, my body! I gave you my bloody heart and you didn't see fit to anchor me in your... extracurricular activities?" I seethed angrily, tears involuntarily spurting down my cheeks. I watched as his jaw ticked and he tried to steady his breathing. He's pissed? What for?

"You are my extracurricular activity if we're being technical here! I didn't tell you for this exact reason! You don't just go around telling people that since your dad died you have to take his place as the Russian mafia leader, you keep that shit on the low! Only my inner circle know about this, my soldiers don't even know my face. All they know is they get paid to do jobs, that's it!" He roared back and I flinched at his tone.

I'd never seen this side of Elliott. The harsh, ruthless side of him. The angrier he got the more prominent an accent unfolded with his words; an accent I had never noticed before until now. I'm an extracurricular to him? Does he really feel that way or is it out of anger? Either way, he said it and he can't take it back even if he wanted to.

"Okay, Elliott," I whispered and wiped my tears as I brushed passed him and limped inside the house. The house was spotless as the TV blared. Oliver sat on the couch next to Daniela as she rolled up a spliff. Scout's head laid on Skye's shoulder as they watched whatever movie was playing. Ryan was lighting the fireplace since it's dark out now. I dodged all of their looks as I limped my way up the stairs and in front of Elliott's door.

Please don't let Dean's body still be in there...

I blew out a deep breath before I reached in front of me to twist the knob. I opened the door quietly and was relieved to see there was no body, no mess, and no smell. I quickly sat on the bed and grabbed my pedicure kit from the table. I turned the table lamp on and took the tweezers out of the kit. I slowly and painfully extracted the small, harsh splinters from my feet one by one. I sighed in relief as my feet touched the hardwood floor and it wasn't painful. I discarded the splinters and grabbed all of my clothes, packing them away into my bags. I don't want to wear these clothes, they smell awful and so do I.

I grabbed my grey sweatpants, a long-sleeved plain black t-shirt, a pair of matching white lace undergarments, and black knee-high socks. I walked into the bathroom and quickly showered, washing all of my tears and musk away. Once I finished, I put on deodorant, lotion, body spray, and my clothes. I washed away half of my regret in the shower and needed to hurry into the guest room before anyone found out I was leaving.

I towel-dried my hair and made my way into the bedroom. Good, it was still empty. I heard small chatter and the TV downstairs, letting me know that I wasn't missed. I sighed a breath of relief once again and zipped my bags up, walking into the guest bedroom. I put my bags inside of the closet so if anyone came in while I was asleep they wouldn't notice what I planned to do. I slipped into the single bed and pulled the comforters over top of me, drowning myself in the warmth of Elliott's place one last time before I left out of his life, indefinitely.

I love him so much, but I can't fathom this life. Where me accidentally murdering someone is okay. Where his little brother ODing is fine, brushed off. Where killing someone because they are suspicious is alright, not an eyelash batted.

I love Elliott, I'm in love with him. But I love me, too.

I choose me.