The only Kiwi I'm not allergic to.

29

Amy:

The sunlight burnt my sleeping face, making me slightly open my eyes just to close them again. I had a great night's sleep but all the walking from the day before had taken a toll on me. Harrison was right... I keep telling myself that I'm strong but sometimes you just have to chillax.

My body was still so tired that I decided to just pull the blanket on my face rather than walking to the window and drawing the blinds. So I buried my face under my blanket and tried to go back to sleep.

I fell asleep for maybe 20 extra minutes until I felt like I was sleeping in a pool of my sweat. "Ughhh I just want to sleep." I said to no one throwing my blanket away from my body causing my eyes to go blind because of the scorching sun. I closed my eyes tight and slowly pulled my body up and sat in my bed.

Sitting on my bed I let my eyes close for a short while until I decide it was time to get out of my bed. With my eyes still closed I patted around me searching for my phone. I patted the layers of blanket and covers until my hand touched the hard, cool surface of my phone. Smiling to myself I picked it up and turned it on. It's 9:45 a.m.

I had a few messages from JJ telling me about his flight details. He was coming to visit me next week.

I'm excited to show him around and introduce him to my friends here. I haven't seen him in like 2- 3 months.

Realizing it was about 2 months since I've moved to Australia. "Wow that went by really fast!" I told myself.

I texted JJ saying I was excited to see him and that I'll come pick him up from the airport.

I put my phone down and dragged my body out of the bed and into my bathroom. With no care I turned on the hot water and started to strip out of my clothes. I turned around and looked at my reflection in the mirror. "I look like shit." I said out loud. Taking a breath in, I turned around and walked into the bathtub that was filling up with hot water.

I sat down in the tub letting the hot water rain down on me. I leaned on my crossed legs pulling my knees closer to my chest and put my head on them closing my eyes.

I tried to let my mind empty itself. I tried to not think about anything. I tried to not remember but I couldn't help it... the scary memories came rushing to my mind drowning me once more. How is it possible to not be under water and drown? 

My eyes shoot open along with my mouth taking in as much oxygen as I possibly could.

The water was spilling out of the tub into the bathroom floor. I quickly got up throwing my towel on the water in an attempt to dry it off. I pulled the drain letting the water go.

My mind was still fuzzy with thoughts. I can't understand why I am so afraid of being drowned. I've almost drowned many times, why this time? Why now? I almost drowned the first time I stepped into the lake for god's sake and that was like what 20 years ago when I was 2 years old. Why am I freaking out now?

"Because you fucking died this time" the small voice in my head told me.

Like always I tried to ignore the logical voice. Because that wasn't a good enough reason.

I heard the forceful knocking on the door making me jump and lose my train of thoughts. I shook my head and wrapped a new tower around my body skipping through the living room and to the front door. 

"One second...." I yelled as I reached the door. The banging stopped. I opened the door only to find a very stressed and worried Harrison.

"Amy!!... are you okay? You didn't pick up and then you wouldn't answer the door and I was..." he said quickly pulling me towards him scanning my face and then taking me into his arms.