Just Another Sappy Love Story

45. Ren

My grip around Hiroshi tightens. "It's my fault Shin died. I killed him!" I bury my face into Hiroshi's neck crying.

"Ren shh I'm here for you." Hiroshi whispers soothingly, as he rubs my back while his other hand runs through my sandy blonde hair. "You didn't kill Shinji." He whispers softly to me. I feel his body is tense, from hearing what happened. Yet he is pushing aside his feelings, to comfort me.

"Everyone says that, yes I wasn't the one who was driving and lost control. But if I didn't get upset with him. If I Didn't start the fight, he wouldn't have walked out on me. He would have still been in the restaurant with me, when the car went into the sidewalk." My entire body is shaking.

"Ren." He hugs me tighter.

"I have to live my entire life, knowing it's my fault he died. He was only trying to be romantic, but I got so angry that he threw away his life dream just for me."

"Let it out Ren, you have kept this all bottled up inside you for far too long." Hiroshi whispers softly, his hand still running through my hair.

I tighten my grip around him. Truth is, I never even spoke about what happened in detail to my parents or anyone, how could I? Kyo and Rikuta never pushed me about it, they knew when I was ready I would tell them.

"I never got to apologize to him for the fight, all I was able to do was yell out how sorry I was." My tears pick up.

"Ren tell me, I'm here for you. Let me help you through this, you dealt with this alone for far too long. It's not healthy holding it all in."

"I tried to yell at him to move, but it all happened so fast. The car honking its horn, it speeding up onto the sidewalk, Shin's face. It was like watching it all in slow motion, the car hitting him, his body flying into the street. All I could hear was my own screams." My heart races as I relive the accident in my mind.

My heart beats fast, as I hear a loud horn honk. "SHIN! WATCH OUT!"

My heart stopped beating in my chest, as I watched a car lose control going up onto the sidewalk.

"SHIN!" I scream as I watch his body get hit right before my eyes. I watch in fear as Shin's body flies backwards, and lands in the middle of the street. "SHIN!"

I ran to him and dropped to my knees. There is blood everywhere. "Shin!" My hands are shaking in fear. "Shin, baby please open your eyes. SHIN!" I scream out, and lift his head pulling his body onto me, covering myself in his blood. "No Shin! Wake up! Please!"

I am a mess of tears, as I hold Shin's body while a crowd begins to form around me. I hear sirens in the distance, but all I can think about is Shin.

"Wake up! You can't leave me!" I whisper as more tears fall from my eyes. "Please Shin! You have to wake up and marry me! I never got to tell you I love you one last time..."

"I was coated in his blood holding him, by the time I got to him, he..." My grip on Hiroshi tightens.. "Shi-kun, he died on impact. I never got to tell him I was sorry, how I loved him, how I wanted to marry him!"

I feel Hiroshi comforting me. It is calming me, finally telling someone the truth.

"All I could do was hold his lifeless body in my arms. I screamed and begged for him to wake up, but I knew he was gone, I knew I would never hear his voice again. Never feel the warmth of his touch, or to simply look into his eyes. He was gone forever."

"Ren." Hiroshi pulls back slightly, only to cup my face in his hands. I see the tears falling down his cheeks. "I am so sorry, you went through something no one should have to witness." He leans in and kisses my lips softly. I close my green eyes and kiss him in return.

"Now you know why I tried to push you away at first, to be reminded so much of Shinji. How much it hurt, I'm torn though." I whisper as I open my green eyes, and wipe his tears away. "If Shin never died, then I would most likely still be dating him. But then I never would have met you Shi-kun, you make me so happy."

"Ren lets not talk about that. I know the only reason I was able to end up dating you, was because of what happened." He leans in to kiss me once more. "I just wish you didn't have to witness something so terrible."

I sigh and hug him tightly, as my tears slowly come to a stop. "It's something I will never fully move on from. It will haunt me, my entire life." I whisper sadly.

"Well I will be there for you Ren. I will always be here to talk about it, if you need to." Hiroshi smiles softly at me through his teary brown eyes.

"I know I told you not to come, but I am happy you did." I whisper. "Thank you Shi-kun."

"Well lucky me, that you have a cool cousin for letting me stay."

I laugh slightly at this. "Yah. Toshi is the best." I whisper softly. "I hated when he moved for college. I missed seeing him almost everyday." I wrap my arms around Hiroshi tightly. "Shi-kun, you can stay for a couple of days right?" I whisper into his neck.

"Yes, my parents said they would contact the school for me."

"Oh Fuck. Daichi is going to murder me." I whisper.

"No Ren. He went through something similar at our age, he hasn't told me the details. But basically he ran away, and my dad, Nori. Well, he ran after him to help him." I listen to Hiroshi. "He knows you just need someone to help guide you home, just like my dad did for him."

"Shi-kun..."

"Let me be the one to bring you back Ren..."

"You already have..." I whisper, pulling him into a deep kiss.

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