Just Another Sappy Love Story

46. Ren - 8 Months Ago

I sat in a room all alone in the Police Station, as I quietly stared at my hands. They are red, stained from the blood of Shin. I shake violently as the image replays in my mind. The way Shin was crying, standing on the sidewalk. The way the car honked, how it hit him, how far his body flew. He was dead before his body hit the ground.

I rush to the nearest garbage bin in the room, collapsing to my knees throwing up, as tears fall from my eyes.

"He is gone. He is dead because of me. I killed him." I cry as I push myself back away from the garbage, and hug my shaking body. I was brought here after the police and ambulance showed up. Once they finally got me to release Shin's body, the medics took him away knowing he was already gone. Then the police brought me here. They contacted my parents, and now I am just sitting, waiting for them to come get me.

I swallow thickly, as the thought of never seeing Shin again hits me hard.

My head snaps up as the door opens and I watch my mother run in, tears flowing down her face as she hugs me tightly.

"Ren! Oh god! My baby! The police told us everything, Ren I'm so sorry."

I remain silent, as more tears fall from my eyes as I hug my mother tightly. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I look to see my father. His eyes show sorrow, as he gazes at me.

"Ren, let's get you home and cleaned up."

I hiccup releasing my mother, as I only nod my head in silence. I don't want to bring myself to speak, I can't.

Standing up shakily my father places his arm over my shoulder, as my mother takes my hand in hers not caring about the red blood stain. They walk me from the private room I was in, only to have me freeze. Standing there talking to the police were Shin's parents. His mother is crying and hugging her husband for dear life, as tears fall down their faces. I watch his eyes look to me, and he releases his wife and storms towards me and my parents.

"You. YOU KILLED HIM! YOU STOLE HIM FROM US, AND KILLED HIM!"

Before I could reply, my father was standing between us as the police rushed over. "Don't you dare raise your voice at my son! If you wish to blame anyone, then go after the driver behind the car!"

"I hope you rot in hell Ren Ozawa! You don't deserve to live, not while my son is dead!"

"That's enough!" A police officer pulls his father away from my dad, who looked just about ready to punch him.

"Darling, lets just get Ren home." My mother whispers in a pleading voice. "Ren doesn't need this."

"I'm sorry, let's go." My father leads me past Shin's parents, and I only cry harder knowing his father was right. I don't deserve life.

I was silent the entire way home. My parents would try to get me to speak, but nothing helped. I was numb to the entire world. My mom helped me get cleaned up in the bathroom, as I sit in the tub of water, while she scrubs the dried red blood from my body that stained through my clothes. I make no noise or sound, as I just sit there silently staring into nothingness.

...

Days passed by, and I haven't left my room once. My blinds in my bedroom I leave shut, as I couldn't stand the thought of looking outside to see Shin's bedroom. I have hardly eaten anything. My mom would bring me food, only to take it away untouched hours later. I sit on my bed hugging my knees to my chest, as I stare at the framed photo of Shin. His beautiful smile, his tanned skin. The eyes that always entranced me, the beautiful brown encircled with green. Tears fall from my eyes, knowing I will never get to look into them again.

A soft knock sounds on my door, but I ignore it as I hug the photo to my chest.

"Ren?" I don't even look up as Kyo enters quietly. "Hey buddy." His voice was soft, as I only squeezed my eyes shut and cried harder. I feel the side of my bed dip down, and feel warm arms around me. "I'm still here for you Renny."

I cry and lean into the warmth of my best friend. "He's gone." I whisper my first words in days, as Kyo holds me.

"Shh Ren, don't talk about it. It will be ok, trust me..."

...

Kyo was wrong, things didn't get ok. It was maybe a month after I lost Shin. I fell into deep depression. One day I ran into the group of guys, who wanted me to work at the pub with them. They were going to a party to get drunk, and they asked me to tag along. Knowing I had no other reason not to, I did. This was the worst mistake I could have ever made.

Getting drunk with them led to doing drugs. Which then led to me being addicted, and wanting to do this always. The dream of Vet school was long gone. I felt that if Shin wasn't here to keep living with me. Then I didn't deserve to live either.

Kyo, Rikuta, and the twins became very worried about me. They saw my attitude change drastically. All I wanted to do was party and get high. It was the only way I would forget the pain, so that's exactly what I did. They all tried to stop me, but nothing worked, I was too far gone. Only one thing would save me, and that one thing is dead and gone from my life forever.

One night, Rikuta even took me to his house and made love to me. He knew I needed someone to hold me, he told me to imagine he was Shin. It helped, just for a moment. But then it got very bad.

...

I don't recall how I got here, but Rikuta was holding me tears in his eyes. Kyo was kneeling before us on the floor crying as well. I only blinked and looked around, finding myself in Shin's now empty room. His parents moved a week after the accident.

"Ren it's ok, you will be ok." Rikuta whispers to me. I am too confused to know what was going on. I glanced at Kyo and from where he was kneeling, I couldn't see the many empty bottles of liquor, or the knife on the floor.

"Hey Renny, want to go to the club house? We can all sleep there tonight?" He whispers at me as his glasses fall crooked on his face.

I nod my head slowly, as I swallow thickly.

"Thirsty?" Rikuta asks in a soft voice as he sends a glance to Kyo, and stands before me blocking Kyo from my sight. I never saw Kyo push the knife out of sight, before he too stood up.

"Lets get some food and drinks, how about some burgers? Renny does that sound good?"

I only just nodded my head again in reply. We then were at the club house. Rikuta being the stronger one helped me up into the tree house, as Kyo went to a nearby burger place opened all night, getting us each a burger and some pop before returning.

"What happened?" I whisper quietly, as I slowly start to eat and feel a little more like myself.

"Ren you were out partying with those guys again. They gave you some drug that really fucked you over." Rikuta sighed. "You really need to stop this, it's not healthy for you. Would Shin want you to destroy yourself?"

"Rikuta, I..."

"He is right Ren. Shinji wouldn't want this for you. He would want you to live, not drown yourself. Live Ren, live for Shinji Higashi."

I cry softly nodding my head. "He only ever wanted me to live a life. I just miss him so much."

"Ren we know, but he will always be in your heart. He will always be watching over you. Now it's time for you, to become you again..." Kyo whispers, giving me a goofy smile.

"Grant Shin's wish Ren. Live a life, get into vet school, become a vet. You know that is what he would want for you."

"He, h-he would..." I take a bite from my burger, and nod my head. "I'm done partying. I will become top in my classes again. I will get into vet school."

...

Months passed by, and as I promised. I was back to being top of all my classes. Yes I miss Shinji daily, but I now use this to drive me into wanting to become the man that would have made him proud.

However the day I met Hiroshi Saito, that only threw my life upside down. I never imagined I would find it possible to love another, but now here he was picking up my broken form once again.

...