Adventures, Memories, and Everything in Between

if i could walk away, would i do it?

someone once asked me,
a long time ago,
think about who has hurt you most.
if you could go back to the day you met them,
and turn around, and walk the other way,
would you do it?

i...
i dont know.

you have definitely changed me.
and we had lots of good times, and being with you was the happiest i had been in a really long time.

but was all of that worth where we ended up?

you could have ended up worse,
but me?

i lost everything.

because i was insecure.

i just wanted you to love me so i gave you everything and anything you wanted.
would i take that back?
yes.
would i take back the time i keep remembering that i pushed you when we got into a fight?
yes.
would i take back how i always got mad over petty things?
yes.
would i take back all of the good times we shared, and every bit of myself that i gave you?
well, it would sure spare me a lot of pain right now. but it wouldn't give me a home to look forward to, back in your heart, if thats where i end up.
but maybe id be closer with my friends.
maybe id be closer with my mom and my family.
maybe id be less self loathing.

but,
your smile.

....

no. i wouldn't walk away.

id still walk into spanish class and let my eyes wash over you and
not do
a goddamn single thing
different.