Renesmees Note Book (WATTY AWARDS 2011 VOTE GUYS!!!)

Confused

We ended up making love. It was amazing. The way he looked at me, curled around me and made me feel loved.

The only thing is, now I have to face my family...and Jake. As soon as we stopped and I laid their in Jason's arms, I thought about the future. Im no Alice but I could clearly see what was going to happen.

My family, standing their, looking at us in disgrace, my farther tearing apart Jason, Carlisle kicking him out of the coven, Jake letting out a painful howl. I felt a lump in my thought. Jason kissed my neck and began to put on his clothes.

I did the same, my mind thinking of the best ways to get out of it. The only thing was that I couldn't. we started to walk back slowly, hand in hand. Jason's body was stiff as he already knew what was going to happen because of his hearing.

 At that moment my farther came out of the house. His eyes blazing with anger, lips drawn back into a snarl. "inside this instant!" he snarled. I backed away slightly, Il'd never seen my farther so angry before. "Renesmee Cullen get inside now!" he snarled. I bust into tears at that moment and ran in the direction of the cottage. I slammed the door to my bedroom shut and laid on my bed, crying into my pillow. I cried until I fell asleep.

When I woke up, a pair of arms wear around me, cradling me. I opened my eyes to see my mother gently sinning to me, stroking my head. "momma?" I asked,

She looked down at me and smiled "hey baby" she smiled kissing my forehead. I blinked at her in surprise. I sat up and looked at her then sighed. "im ready"

"ready for what baby?" she asked

"for you to shout at me"

"im not going to shot at you honey"

"why not...I had sex with Jason! I betrayed Jake and Dad hates me!"

My mother sighed softly "do you remember when Jake felt threatened when that boy played with you at the playground while we wear in new Hampshire?" she asked. I nodded "yeah, why?"

"well, ever since he lost me and imprinted on you, he's been very overprotective of you. He's scared he's lost you and its his fault."

"Why would it be his fault?" I asked.

"he thinks you didn't have a happy childhood and that you couldn't play with the other kids"

"oh"

"he didn't want to lose you Ness, let another male take you away from you"

I sighed sadly "im so confused Momma"

"I know baby. Sleep on it, in the morning you can decide what you want to do" she kissed my forehead. "I love you my little nudger"

I smiled a little "love you to Momma."

She kissed my forehead then I went upstairs and laid on my bed. Thoughts ran around my head about both of them.

The thing is. I love them both and its going to hurt one of them when I tell the one we can never be.

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Note: im starting exams soon so i wont be updateing a lot for the next three months im sorry guys. ill post as soon as i can.

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Becky :)