Glue and Tape - Soukoku

For Crab

In Dazai's short life, Chuuya was able to find two things that the man would actually eat and drink.

Crab and sake.

Two foods which would explain why the shitty man was so terrible at everything that didn't involve thinking.

That was how the two found themselves in this situation.

At first it was a date. That's what Dazai called it. Chuuya was to flustered to even give the event a title.

So, in Chuuya's mind, it was just going out together.

Definitely not a date. Not at all.

But, in my opinion, when you are sitting across from a bar together holding hands while eating food I will assume you are on a date.

As the night dragged on and the bar started to get a little more loud a voice called out from the behind the bar.

"Today is our annual sake drinking competition!", the man yelled.

The crowd around them roared with applause. Chuuya rolled his eyes when he saw Dazai also join the crowd.

The bar man smiled before continuing.

"The prize today is a two year long membership to the best buffet in the city! They are especially well known for there crab".

Chuuya groaned at that proclamation.

Now there was no way he could drag them both out of here.

"Now, whoever wants to participate come up here and sign up! The rules are simple as well! Drink as much as you can!".

Chuuya knew that Dazai loved crab. But he didn't think he loved it this much.

Dazai was a drunken mess by the time the competition was over.

Hiccuping and giggling at everything that was happening around him. Even if nothing funny was going on.

"We have a winner!", the bar man shouted. The people around them cheered. Dazai giggles loudly along with them.

"And our winners name is?", the bar men pointed towards Dazai.

"Dazai Osthamu!", Dazai slurred.

And shit, that lisp was adorable. Chuuya couldn't help but smile at the messed up pronunciation.

"Dazai Osamu has won! Here you go kid".

And with that Dazai was handed a check. One that was sure to buy all the shitty crab at whatever buffet it was.

"Alright thank you thank you, but I really have to get him home", Chuuya rushed out as he leaped to catch Dazai who almost tripped over his own feet.

"Is Chuu-Chuu train taking me home?", Dazai questioned with a lazy smile.

"Chuu-Chuu? Hey give me that!", Chuuya exclaimed as Dazai's long arms yanked his hat off his head.

"It's miiinnnneee now", Dazai called while he tried to sprint away.

Tried is the important word in this sentence.

Chuuya let out a loud laugh when Dazai's lanky body toppled to the floor.

"Stupid slug help me!", Dazai whined.

Chuuya let his laughing stop before deciding to help the man out of his misery.

"Fine, I'll help you. But first give me the check before you fuck it up".

Dazai nodded. And soon the check was safely in Chuuya's hands.

"Now carry me!", Dazai sang out in a terrible tune.

"No! Get yourself up. You're old enough to do that asshole".

Chuuya expected for Dazai to get back up right away. But instead a small sniffle was heard.

Chuuya watched in horror as he then realized what was happening.

"Does Chibi not love me anymore?", Dazai cried out so loudly that some people from the bar where now watching them.

Chuuya was so flabbergasted by this occurrence that he simply stared at Dazai who was still sitting on the ground.

"What! No. I love you stupid. You're the best, and possibly the worst, person that I've ever meet!", Chuuya awkwardly exclaimed.

Dazai looked up at him. His lips pulled tightly together to form a pout.

"R-really?", he stuttered our meekly.

"Yeah! Um really", Chuuya responded.

After a short few seconds of silence Dazai jumped up. Chuuya let out a small growl when the other slammed his hat back on his head.

"Then leths go home".

Chuuya smiled when he heard Dazai's lisp return.

"Okay. Lets go home. But I swear if you vomit in my bed I'll kill you".

Dazai gasped, "Really!".

"No you fucking moron!".

A/N I don't know why but I feel like Dazai would be a really sweet drunk. He would just be really soft and giggly. I also think he would have a lisp or something. That or he would act like that one time he ate that mushroom...