Thank You

Ch.99 Patience

So Nicole and Jason stayed a while, their visit was filled with fun, jokes, a few drinks and smokes, and deep conversations, over all everyone had fun during their visit, they were back in Kentucky. So fast forward, summer was winding down to an end, Celia had already went back to Wisconsin, the end of an era feeling was in the air as summer was coming to an end, the weather was perfect, and Billie and Anna were chilling out in the backyard, just laying on a blanket in the grass, while Adrienne was sitting in a lawn chair, reading. Anna was laying on her back, watching clouds float by and Billie was laying on his stomach, feet up in the air, dangaling behind him in the air, aimlessly, and picking at the grass and he spoke
"It's really weird and quiet now that no one's here
"Yeah, all the excitement's gone" Anna said laughing a little
"Youngblood, I gotta question"
"Hm" Anna said sitting up, looking at Billie, and crossing her legs
"Hypothetically say that your dad's accident never happened and we never met you, but you still saw us live, if you, as a fan could've had your ideal set list, what would it be" he asked
"Well first of all, that thing would be fucking long", Anna said laughing a little, "probably I Was There, Disappearing Boy, 16, 409 in Your Coffeemaker, Knowledge, 2,000 Light Years Away, One for the Razorbacks, Christie Road, One of My Lies, My Generation, Burnout, Pulling Teeth, Longview, Basket Case, Welcome to Paradise, When I Come Around, Brain Stew, Jaded, Bab's Uvula Who, Walking Contradiction, Scattered, Platypus, Warning, Blood Sex and Booze, Castaway, Waiting, Minority, Suffocate, Desensitized, You Lied, Outsider, I Want to Be on TV, Scumbag, Ha Ha You're Dead, literally the entire American Idiot album, Song of the Century, 21st Century Breakdown, Know Your Enemy, East Jesus Nowhere, both Viva la Gloria's, Last of the American Girls, Horeshoes and Handgrenades, American Eulogy, Cigarettes and Valentines", and Billie just watched in amazement as Anna named off songs off of each album, in order, "Nuclear Family, Carpe Diem, Let Yourself Go, Kill the DJ, Fell for You, Loss of Control, Troublemaker, Oh Love, See You Tonight, Wild One, Stray Heart, Wow That's Loud, 8th Avenue Serenade, X-Kid, Sex Drugs and Violence, A Little Boy Named Train, Dirty Rotten Bastards, 99 Revolutions, State of Shock, Bang Bang, Revolution Radio, Say Goodbye, Bouncing off the Walls, Youngblood, Too Dumb to Die, Back in the USA, then for the more mellow songs, Redundant, Macy's Day Parade, Rotting, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Are We the Waiting, Give Me Novacaine, Whatsername, Last Night on Earth, When It's Time, Stay the Night, Lazy Bones, Amy, Brutal Love, Drama Queen, Walk Away, The Forgotten, Still Breathing, Ordinary World, and to close it off Good Riddance" Billie was left both impressed and amazed
"Damn Youngblood", he said speechless, "you know your shit" and Anna just shrugged her shoulders
"Youngblood, you can off the top of your head list a good hand full of songs off of each album and list them in fuck order, so you know your shit" Billie said laughing a little
"I mean I guess'' Anna said mindlessly and Billie just laughed and spoke
"What do you say if we played that set" and he saw Anna's eyes light up and widden
"No shit" Anna questioned
"No shit" Billie said smiling, then Anna basically jumped on top of him and hugged him to death and Billie was just laughing, Adrienne was also amussed watching
"You happy Youngblood" Billie asked smiling at Anna
"I get to play my dream set with my favorite band, of course I'm fucking happy"
"Good, I'm glad" Billie said smiling
"Why are you so damn cute though'' Anna questioned and Billie just laughed a little and spoke
"I don't know, why are you so damn cute when you're happy" and Anna just shrugged her shoulders and at this point Anna was basically laying on top of Billie, so of course Adrienne snagged the opportunity to take a picture of the cute sight and Billie spoke
"I'm still that comfortable aren't I"
"Yep and always will be" Anna said smiling
"Okay, now let me get up so I can tell the guys" Anna got off of Billie and he grabbed his phone, called the guys, and told them what was up about the show  and Billie had a feeling that they were going to pull out all the stops during this show, so it was sure to be fun, Anna was still sitting there with a smile plastered on her face, then grabbed her phone and turned on some music, the kind of music you listen to and you feel infinite, Green Day, The Longshot, The Struts, Motley Crue, and Joan Jett, Anna was dancing around, singing, and smiling, then the music started to turn into more alternative, the music that Anna hadn't listened to in a long time The Struts, I Don't Know How But They Found Me, The Brobecks and Palaye Royale, Anna was getting nosaligic as fuck, she was happy, dancing around, singing, with a smile on her face, both Billie and Adrienne were smiling watching her, Billie got up and started dancing and singing with her, Adrienne was smiling watching them, dancing, smiling, laughing, and singing, Anna loved the feeling of feeling infinite, certain people, conversations, shows, and certain music made her feel that way, she yearned for that feeling, because when she felt that, she had confidence, she didn't care about what anyone thought, she felt good about herself, she was happy, and boy did she love it. Aside from the guys, Adrienne, Celia, and other amazing people in her life that made her happy, her feel good about herself, gave her confidence, and there to hype her up. Anna was stuck in her happy cloud in her head and was caught off guard by Billie lifting her up and she was laughing and spoke
"How can I still be small enough for people to pick me up, hell my dad can still pick me up with one arm" and Billie spoke
"You just are Youngblood, plus you're in good shape, and your dad is just ripped"
"True" Anna said laughing a little and Billie was so happy that Anna was happy, like genuinely happy on her own, he just smiled at her and she just hugged him
"Aw" they heard from Adrienne and both Anna and Billie laughed a little and Billie spoke
"Love you Youngblood" Billie said smiling
"Love you too Billo" Anna mumbled into his shirt, but still audible, Anna still thinks to herself, that these are some of the moments that she yearned for years or some moments she didn't know she needed, Billie spun around with Anna still in his arms and Anna legit giggled, then Billie set her down and spoke
"Wanna skate over to your dad's and tell him 'bout the show"
"Sure" so Billie and Anna grabbed their boards and decided to bring little Billie with, because I mean why not, so they skated over to Scott's house and let themselves in
"Hey kiddo, hey Billie" Scott said standing up from where he was standing and Anna gave him a hug
"What are you guys doing here" and Billie spoke
"Wanted to see if you were gonna be at the show tonight"
"Of course I am" Scott said smiling and Anna smiled in response to his answer, then Billie spoke
"Come on Youngblood, we gotta go practice"
"See you at the show, kiddo" Scott said to Anna as they left, so they started skating back home and Anna was in the middle of the road, doing some surfing style skating, with a smile on her face, so when they got back home, the guys were already there and Mike spoke
"I heard someone came up with an impecable setlist" and Anna just shrugged her shoulders and spoke
''I guess you heard right" she said smiling, so they brushed up on the songs that they hadn't played in a while, after they practiced, they headed to the venue, they were playing at the Fox Theater, during set up, Anna was laying at the end of the stage, with her legs dangling off the edge, with earbuds in her ears, listening to music, with her eyes closed, then of course Tre scared her and she ended up falling off the stage
"Gah fuck, Tre what the fuck" Anna said looking at Tre and he spoke
"Do you expect any less" he said smiling, Billie and Mike were laughing
"Nope" Anna said standing up, laughing a little, then of course she went and climbed up into the rafters of the stage
"Expect any less" she called from the metal rafters
"Nope" the three said at the same time
"I am taller than all of you right now, ha" Anna said smiling, a few minutes later Anna climbed down back onto the stage, then they just hung out backstage until it was show time, as usual the next thing they knew, they were walking out on stage, Anna was about to grab 'Whatsername' to play, when Billie put 'Blue' on Anna, her face immediately lit up and she gave Billie a hug, Billie grabbed one of his other guitars to play and spoke into the mic
"So, earlier today I asked Youngblood if hypothetically we never met them, but they still saw us live, as a fan what their dream setlist of ours would look like, with no limits, so we're gonna play that" and they jumped into I Was There, they played through Disappearing Boy, 16, 409 in Your Coffeemaker, Knowledge, which is always a fun cover, 2,000 Light Years Away, during the whole song, Billie and Anna both had goofy smiles on their faces, One for the Razorback, Christie Road, Anna had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face, after the song was done she spoke
"A little while back, Billie actually took me to the tracks at Christie Road, take me to the place I call home" she said smiling, they played One of My Lies, My Generation, which was also a fun cover, Burnout, Pulling Teeth, Longview, Basket Case, Welcome to Paradise, When I Come Around, and Anna never got sick of hearing Billie's voice go back to the Dookie era sound, Brain Stew, Jaded, Bab's Uvula Who, Walking Contradiction
"For some weird reason, that song would always come on when I would be walking around" Anna said laughing a little, then Scattered, Platypus, man was that a fun song to play, because of how much hate and anger it let out, Anna was literally all over the place, jumping around, then Warning, Blood Sex and Booze and Anna spoke
"Kinkiest fucking Green Day song of all time" she said laughing, Billie and Mike were laughing, then Tre being Tre had a devilish smirk on his face, as a joke, then Castaway, Waiting, Minority, Suffocate, Desensitized, after the song was over, Anna spoke
"I feel the need to say this, I know that my generation, as well as Melanials are desensitized in the sense of what you see on the news, that there's another shooting, another car crash, we grew up watching all of that, so of course we're going to be desensitized to certain stuff, it's not that we don't care, we know it's bad, we're not emotionless, we're just used to it, I know I'm desensitized in that sense and I was looked at like a freak and like I was crazy for being that way, no one can help if they're densensitized and yeah" then they played You Lied, Outsider, I Wanna Be On TV, which is always fucking awesome and straight punk rock, Scumbag, Ha Ha You're Dead, that had to be one of Anna's absolute favorites off of Shenanigans, 'The Closure Anthem' as she called it, she had a smiled on her face, relief and anger in her voice, and rage in her eyes, when the song was over Anna spoke
"This sounds really fucking bizzare, since I'm from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Wisconsin being where all the crazy fuckers are, but I remember when I first got that CD, I actually got it along with Poison's Greatest Hits CD, my dad and I were randomly driving around, just listening to music, we ended up heading into Downtown Milwaukee, but before we actually did, me dad was like, 'Do you want to see where Jeffery Dahmer's apartment was' and I said 'yeah, why not' so he showed me, right after we drove past the lot where it was, he asked me if I wanted to put the Green Day CD I just got in and for some weird fucking reason I said 'no' and I don't fucking know why, anyway I can't hear that album without think about Jeffery Dahmer, which fucking sucks, fun fact my dad used to help out his buddy's dad's diner and Jeffery Dahmer used to come in everyday and order the same thing everyday, so when he was caught and it was on the news, they knew him by his order, also my weird ass dad and his buddies skipped out on school when they were tearing down Dahmer's apartment building and they got brick, so there's a weird fucking fact" and Billie was looking at her with a stupid look on his face
"What I like crime shit" Anna said raising her arms in defense, then they played the whole American Idiot album, except for the songs that they were going to play later, in the slower songs, then Song of the Century, to Anna it was really nice to just hear Billie's voice for a minute, 21st Century Breakdown, Know Your Enemy, East Jesus Nowhere, both Viva la Glorias, Last of the American Girls, Anna loved that song, so she was jumping up and down, with a smile on her face, then Horeshoes and Handgrenades
"That's what I imagine what Green Day song my dad would be, along with all of American Idiot, because he ain't fucking around" Anna said laughing a little, then they played American Eulogy, then the show shocker Cigarettes and Valentines, that was always a treat to play and for sure for the crowd, they jumped into the trilogy with Nuclear Family, Billie being the goof ball he is was just dancing like the dork he is, which caused Anna to laugh while singing, then they played Carpe Diem, Let Yourself Go, Kill the DJ and Billie spoke
"Again, don't kill any DJ's we need them to play our music" he said laughing a little and Anna laughed, then Fell for You, Loss of Control, Troublemaker, See You Tonight, again, for Anna it was nice to hear just Billie's voice for a minute, then they played Wild One, Stray Heart, Wow! That's Loud, 8th Avenue Serenade, X-Kid, Sex Drugs and Violence, A Little Boy Named Train, Dirty Rotten Bastards, man did Anna love that song, that was one of her favorites off of !TRE!, then they played 99 Revolutions, State of Shock, which was also a treat to play and for the crowd, then Bang Bang, Revolution Radio, Say Goodbye, Bouncing Off the Walls, Youngblood, as usual Billie had one arm wrapped around Anna, a smile on his face and her's, everyone's favorie part
"She said fuck you I'm from Oakland" and they both flipped off the crowd, as usual, smiling, then they played Too Dumb to Die, Back in the USA, by now it was time for the slower song, which they were going to play aucostic, so Billie and Anna switched out their gutiars for their aucostics and Anna gave Billie another hug and spoke
"Thank you for letting me play 'Blue'" and Billie of course hugged back
"Of course, Youngblood" Billie said smiling at her, they let go, and Billie spoke into the mic
"After this we all have to go home, we gotta go to our shitty fucking jobs, we gotta go to our shitty fucking classrooms, we gotta go to our shitty fucking wherever we have to go, locked in the fucked shitty world of television set of bullshit. But tonight we're all in this moment, right now, this moment, everybody together, we're all together. You can look in all the fucking hate that you want in the world, but tonight we have joy, we have joy tonight, joy, joy, joy, JOY!" he said smiling, clearly the crowd went nuts, because what he just said was true, so they carried on with playing, they started playing Redundant, they played Macy's Day Parade, Rotting, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, of course Billie had them turn the lights off and he had a big ass flashlight
"See I'm still alive, we're still alive, we're alive, tonight is pure beauty, tonight is our night" he said shining the crowd with the flashlight, the moment was beautiful, pure beauty that's for sure, Anna was ready to cry because of how beautiful it was, she looked out at the crowd in awe, she remembered sitting in her bedroom at two in the morning, watching shows on YouTube, watching Green Day shows that had the same moment of pure beauty as right now, she remembered how she would sit up, crying, yearning to be in this exact moment, she stood there, smiling, with tears rolling down her face, in pure awe, the next thing Anna knew, the lights were back on and Billie was giving her a hug, so they finished the song, then played Are We the Waiting, then Give Me Novacaine, Anna didn't even play, she set her gutiar down, laid down, and listened to the voice that could calm her down, not matter what, made her feel safe, at home, and not so lonely, she just stared up at the ceiling and listened to Billie's voice, after the song was over, she got up and grabbed her gutiar, then they played Whatsername, Last Night on Earth, When It's Time, and you could tell that Billie had glossy eyes, from tears forming, so did Anna, then they played Stay the Night, both Anna and Bille were smiling while playing, then Lazy Bones, Amy, Brutal Love, that's when they were really holding back tears, then they played Drama Queen, Anna set her gutiar down, and walked over by her dad on the side of the stage, she gave him a hug and cried into his shirt and he spoke
"Hey, look at me", he said in a soft tone and Anna looked at him,"I love you kiddo" and Anna spoke
"I love you too'' and she wiped her tears off, went back out on stage and grabbed her gutiar, then they played The Forgotten, Still Breathing, which left both Billie and Anna with tears rolling down their faces, then Ordinary World, which put a a huge smile on Anna's face, then to finally close off the amazing show Good Riddance and half way through the song, Billie set his gutiar down, walked off stage, and came back with something in his hand and spoke
"Stop playing for a second and set your gutiar down" he said away from the mic, so Anna stopped playing and set her gutiar down, she was a little bit confused at what Billie had planned and he spoke
"Close your eyes" and she did, then she felt Billie put what she asumed was a necklace on her
"Okay, open" she opened her eyes and looked down at the necklace, it was a small black and silver gutiar charm on a metal chain, she was confused, what was so special about this necklace, she turned to Billie with a confused look on her face and he spoke
"It's some of Dan's ashes" he said with a small, solem smile, Anna fell to her knees and felt tears pour out of her eyes, Billie dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her 
"It's okay Youngblood" and he felt her nod, then Anna looked up and mouthed 'I love you, man', it felt as if time had stopped
"I miss him" Anna said through sobs
"I know Youngblood, but hey, look at me", and she looked at him, "he's probably standing right next to you, in tears of joy because of how proud he is of you" Billie said smiling, Anna just nodded
"What I would give to be able to see him again, fuck"
"I know, but he's always looking out for you and your dad, and just because you can't see him doesn't mean he's not there"
"I know, but what I would give so my dad could know that he's okay"
"You can tell him Youngblood" Anna nodded and hugged Billie
"Fuck, thank you Billo" Anna hiccuped
"Of course Youngblood" Billie said rubbing Anna's back and he gave her a small kiss on her head, he helped her up, Anna looked at Billie and noticed that he had tears in his eyes and a small smile on his face, then he hugged her again and  they kind of swayed back and fourth a little
"Dan's okay, your dad's okay, I'm okay, Mike's okay, Tre's okay, Adrienne's okay, you're okay Youngblood" Anna still had tears rolling down her face, she didn't even know how much she needed to hear that, she nodded
"Hey, look at me" Billie said softly and looked at him and saw the goofy smile that she loved, "what do ya say we finish the song, for Dan" he said smiling and Anna nodded with a small smile on her face, so they grabbed their gutiars and resumed playing Good Riddance, Anna still had tears rolling down her face and while she was singing, her voice was cracking, all she felt was pure emotion and as if she was floating in space, those lyrics always hit hard for her, at the end of the song she looked up and spoke away from the mic
"I try and make you proud, man" she felt that Dan was around and she knew he was, when the song was over, Billie spoke
"I would like to give it up for one of the kindest, most caring, compassionate, empathetic, amazing kids ever, Youngblood, you've bared the job of guardian angel for many people in your life and can I just say you are the very best person for that job and are amazing at it, your dad was right, you were going to do great things, you did great things, look where you are, look how far you've come, you for sure have made everyone proud, proud of you and proud adn happy to know you" and Billie was almost in tears and Anna couldn't help but to keep crying after hearing that and Billie gave her a hug, Mike and Tre walked over and the next thing she knew, she was in a group hug and she felt safe, when they let go Billie spoke
"We love you, thank you, and goodnight" they walked off stage and the first thing Anna did was run into her dad's arms
"It's okay kiddo" and he was in tears, "I know he's proud as fuck of you, you're doing what we couldn't, now you have little of him, so he's always with you even though he always is already" and out of no where he picked her up and he spoke
"Hey look at him" he said softly and he smiled at her  and she had a small smile on her face and spoke
"How am I still small enough that people can still pick me up"
"You got my shortness" Scott said laughing a little
"Smol bean" they heard from Tre  and they all laughed
"Yes, yes I am" Anna said laughing a little, Scott set Anna down a few minutes later and Anna explained to him the three times that Dan had visited her when she was younger, by the end of it, Scott was in tears, with sadness in his eyes, and a smile on his face and he spoke
"You met him, you met that awesome motherfucker" and Anna nodded and he gave her a hug, she could tell that her dad was really happy about the fact that she basically met Dan, she was smiling, then Adrienne came over by them and spoke
"I was taking pictures and there's something weird in them, I thought it was just from the lighting, but I don't think it is" she showed them her camera and Anna immediately knew what was in the photos
"That's a ghost orb, that's Dan's orb" and Billie spoke
"Told you he was right next to you Youngblood" and she just smiled
"Man, his orb has been in so many pictures, he's been around since he died", and Scott was still smiling at her, "hey I didn't twitch, barely" and she immediately knocked on wood
"Let's get outta here" so they headed home and Adrienne showed them all the pictures that she took, some were polaroids and the rest were on her camera, the polaroids she got were really cool, she got one of Anna up in the rafters, another of Billie, Mike, Tre, and Anna sitting at the end of the stage, and a couple when Billie gave Anna her necklace, then everyone just hung out in the backyard, of course with the radio on in the background, Chris Cornell came on, then Van Halen, then Metallica and Scott spoke
"Well Dan possessed the radio" he said laughing a little, the 'I Want You to Want Me'' by Cheap Trick came on and Anna legit stood on her chair and started lip syncing the words and dancing, of course Billie joined in the goofiness, which was very amusing, then 'I Hate Myself For Loving You' came on, which was fucking awesome, so eventually Scott headed home and apparently Mike and Tre were spending the night because apparently Billie had something up his sleeve, eventually everyone headed to bed until I was just Anna and Billie left and they ended up sitting out on the ledge, drinking hot cocoa
"You like the show Youngblood" Billie asked, with a smile and Anna spoke
"Of course I did, why wouldn't I"
"Just checking", Billie said smiling and taking a drink of his hot cocoa, "how'd you feel if we went on a road trip, like a little bit long than the one to Minnesota"
"Sounds good, where would be going"
"That's a surprise"
"Oh come on, you're going to hold out on me for that long" Anna groaned
"Yep, but it'll be worth it"
"Not even a hint"
"Nope" Billie said laughing a little and Anna stuck her tongue out at him and Billie just laughed at her a little bit, then she turned and looked at the stary sky and breathed out a sigh, then spoke
"Billie, do you think that the universe has a master plan"
"I mean maybe"
"When I learned more about Dan when I was about 13, at the time I was asking myself why the hell I was even on this floating ball in the sky and my parents were both saying generalized stuff, I didn't realize for a while why I was here, say hypothetically the universe knew that Dan was going to die, that shit was going to go south between my parents, life was going to go to shit in certain aspects for my dad and it was going to break him, so before all of that happened the universe gave him me, something to keep him him going, and stay on this floating ball in the sky. Also if the universe knew that all of that was going to happen, knowing that my mom was his guardian angel, then Dan was, but then those two things went away, leaving him with just me, so I got the job of my dad's guardian angel, I'm here so I could look out for my dad, be in his corner, and keep him here, I've had that job since I was five and I just never knew it until a few years'', and Anna had tears in her eyes, "I'm here to keep my dad alive" tears rolled down her face and Billie set down his mug and pulled Anna into his arms, Billie had tears in his eyes from what he just heard and spoke
"You've done a damn good job Youngblood, I'm sure you've made Dan proud, I'm glad you're here, 80, Mike, Tre, Joan, Celia, and everyone, they're glad you're here and can't imagine a life without you in it, Dan's glad you're here because he knows you're physically here to look out for your dad, since he can't anymore, he wanted to watch you grow up and be a kick ass god father to you, he knows you've got us, and that you can handle the job" and Anna nodded a little, when they let go Anna just leaned against Billie with her eyes closed and a couple tears still rolling down her face
"I know no matter where I go, he'll always watch over me, and be with me" she said smiling and she gave her necklace a small kiss, then looked up at the stary sky and breathed out a broken sigh, then spoke
"But I mean if Dan hadn't have died, their band would've been signed most likely, I would have grown up on the road, hell I probably would've met you guys sooner", she said laughing a little, "ever since I saw how it broke my dad, I've tried to understand and get to know who Dan was and all I can say is that he was pretty damn awesome, hell I probably would've had someone singing 'Home Sweet Home' to me when I was little to help me fall asleep, I would've been a Crue fan before I knew what music was" and she just laughed a little
"C'mon Youngblood, let's get some rest" Billie said with a small smile, both of their faces were tear stained, they both climbed back in the window, Anna immediately kicked off her shoes, flopped onto her bed and got under the covers, then Billie walked over and gave her a small kiss on her forehead
"Night Youngblood" he said smiling
"Night Billo" Anna said with a yawn, and Anna legit passed the fuck out, then Billie kicked off his shoes and laid down on the couch in Anna's room, he was tired as shit and also knew that it was probably best if Anna wasn't alone, he just stared at the ceiling until he left his eyelids get heavy and sleep took him.