Thank You

Ch.88 Dizzy

Anna was still a little off and Billie knew something was up, he knew that she was getting better but, he couldn't figure out what was wrong with her, so it was one morning and it was raining and gloomy out, and for once Anna wished the sun was out and so that bummed her out a little, she was the first one up and headed down into the kitchen and made some coffee and just went and chilled on the couch, next to Bandit, she just chilled with him, her mind just drifting off into space and stuff, she was so deep in thought she didn't even notice Billie walk by her and he went in the kitchen and got some coffee and went and sat down next to Anna and spoke
"Morning Youngblood"and she snapped out of her some what trance
"Oh, morning Billo"and he just laughed a little at her and he wanted to know what was up with her
"Is something still wrong, you've seemed off, Youngblood"and Anna spoke
"I just miss my dad and since we went back to Wisconsin it brought stuff up about him"and she sighed
"Remeber the first time my dad jammed with us and Mike asked how my dad's band didn't take off"
"Yeah"
"When I was just a baby my dad had his band Tainted Perception, his lead vocalist and guitar player, his name was Dan and he died and the band just was never the same, this guys was my dad's best friend and was super awesome and cool, him and my dad sat there and said even if they didn't get big they would still want to be jamming together til they drop and to sum up the story that I was told, something was wrong with his prescription or doctor or something like that and my dad was over at his house and they were doing stuff and he begged my dad to stay, but my dad left because he had to take care of me and when I found that out it hit me hard, and I remember in sixth grade we had this rememberance thing in religion class and we got to write people's names in our school's book of rememberance and I wrote my dad's buddys name in it and I had a full on breakdown in class and everyone was just staring at me, he was supposed to be my god father and was awesome, my dad has a tattoo that he got after he died, hell one of their guitar players I think moved out here, like San Diego" and Anna was on the verge of tears, because there was one major part she left out, and Billie gave her a hug
"Well he sounded like an awesome person"
"Yeah, they were already working on a second album when he died, if he would have still been alive, they would have been fucking signed"and Anna remembered
"Holy fuck, he died around this time, I got an idea"
"Hmh"
"When my dad comes back I want to play a show in his honor"
"That sounds like an awesome idea Youngblood"and Anna was remembering all the things her dad ever said about him and she spoke
"He was my dad's family, besides me, that didn't hurt him, fight with him, or down the list, god I remember one time my dad told me that I was the only family he had left that was dead, cut off, or lived far away, and then he said if Dan was still alive, it'd be him too,that broke my heart"and she was just thinking about how happier her and her dad would have been if he was still alive
"Even though I never really knew him, I miss him'she said smiling a little and Billie was just sitting there,smiling and spoke
"You are one of the kindest people I've ever met,even for a punk rocker"and they both just laughed a little,and Anna remembered that she may or may not have taken some stuff from her dad's when they were back in Wisconsin and she went and grabbed them and came back with some VHS tapes of her dad's band and them messing around and their first CD, and she handed Billie the CD and he checked it out and she hooked up the VHS and Billie watched it and was blown away and Anna was just sitting there, smiling and she was laughing at her dad and his buddy's being dorks and when it was over she spoke
"What you saw them do when they got up on stage, you ain't seen nothing from 'em yet"and Billie was in shock and Anna laughed a little at his reaction and her head was filled with different ideas and lyrics and she went and wrote them down and she has never felt this way about a song before, it was really different and tht made her smile, so once she wrote them down,she went and showed Billie and he read them and smiled and spoke
"I swear, you are such a good writer"and he really loved the lyrics, and knew that when ever something really meant something or made Anna really upset, she wrote about, she put into her music and he just smiled and got up
"C'mon Youngblood,wanna go work on this"and she nodded,so they went down into the studio and worked on it and it was more on the somber side and Billie knew that this meant a lot to her and that it would mean a lot to Scott and he had a surprise for both of them and he smiling at Anna,she was standing there with Whatsername,trying to think of one of Dan's favorite songs,and she got it, and she spoke
"Guess"and she started playing what sounded like a spin off of Am I Evil by Metallica and Billie just laughed a little
"Am I Evil"
"Yep, they always played it"and she changed it up a little, but it still had the same sound and Billie barely did anything,mainly just sat back and watched and was smiling at Anna and he just loved watching her do anything musical, because he knew she was happy and it was like she surprised him all the time with what she could do and he loved it, he never knew she knew how to play Am I Evil and she was just jumping around,playing,having fun and had a smile on her face and he just started jamming with her and they were having fun and Anna just had a random boost of happiness and just started shredding like no tomorrow and was just really happy and Billie was just smiling, this is the happiest he'd seen her in a while and they jammed for a while and after just chilled and Anna was on her phone and on the topic of missing people, she really missed her childhood best friend, she knew that she couldn't go back to Wisconsin, it would hurt too bad, but she really missed her friend, she almost started crying, and she was thinking about those early 2000s years when she was little and everything was easy and the world seemed actually at peace for once, and she was thinking about her mom and she just really missed it, and what 'it' was, she didn't even know, she really missed her friend, so she called her friend, and surprisingly she answered and Anna had tears of joy in her eyes and spoke
"Hey, dork,I miss you"
"Hi Ann's I missed you too,so what's up"
"Nothing,I just missed you,I'm surprised you even picked up"
"Yeah,for once I'm not busy"
"Well hell froze over"
"Yeah, and are you crying"
"Yeah, like I said hell froze over, Anna Kushner is actually crying, I just miss you"
"I miss you too, where are you"
"Oakland, California"
"Oh, are you coming back to Wisconsin"
"I can't because of what happened last time I was there"
"Oh"and her friend sounded disappointed and Anna sighed and was almost full blown crying
"I'm sorry, I really am, I miss you but I can't go back there"
"It's okay, if it makes you feel better, I'll drop kick my sister for you"and Anna laughed a little
"Yeah, I gotta go dork, I'll talk to you later"
"Okay,bye"
"Bye"and Anna hung up because she knew she was going to actually started crying and Billie sat next to her and hugged her and spoke
"Who do you miss Youngblood"
"Celia"
"Don't worry, it'll be okay, I know it's hard"
"I miss her, hell I remember when we were like 13, before I met you guys, we didn't want to grow up, we wanted to be kids, and just be at McKinley and yeah"
"I get it, it'll be okay Youngblood"he said smiling at her, wiping her tears away
"Okay"and a little later, Billie called the guys over and they worked on some songs and Billie and Anna told them about the show they wanted to have when Scott got back and they thought that was an awesome idea and told them about Dan and so after that Billie had an idea
"Wait, rainfall in the Bay Area means fun,lets go"and Mike and Tre looked at him and laughed a little,so everyone left, Anna, Billie,Mike,Tre,and Adrienne left and Anna was confused on what was going on, they headed to San Francisco, where the streets are fucking hills, and they found a really big one and Tre got a running start and slid down the whole hill of a street,still standing and Anna was just like 'the fuck' and Billie just laughed at her reaction and spoke
"C'mon Youngblood"and he grabbed her hand and they got a running start and slid down the hill and met Tre at the bottom and it was a residential area, so they weren't gonna get hit by a car, and Mike slid down, then Adrienne and Anna spoke
"That was fun as fuck,how come you never showed me this before"and Billie just shrugged his shoulders and they walked up the sidewalk,back to the top,so they slid down like a million more times and were soaked by the end and it eventually stopped raining and the sun came out and Billie started dying, laughing and spoke
"How the fuck, have we never taken her to the Castro District"and the guys cracked up laughing and Anna spoke
"What's that" and Billie spoke
"Like the gayest place on Earth"
"Well fuck, what are we waiting for, lets go" so they headed over there and Anna spoke
"They have fucking rainbow crosswalks" and she was just being a gay crackhead,so yeah, so they walked around and stopped in some shops and Billie was right, it was the gayest place on Earth, and many gay pictures were taken and they took a lot of pictures with people, and it was really gay and fun, and amazing, and Anna got a lot of gay stuff, one thing she didn't get was a girlfriend, but hey we can't always get we want, it was so gay, she was in gay heaven, there were many gay jokes made, and both her and Billie were being sassy and gay and Tre was being just well Tre,so nothing new and it was awesome,so they were there for a while and just walking around and stuff, and the sunset was fricking breath taking and it was right behind the Golden Gate Bridge and Anna was in awe, it was beautiful, so they walked around for a little bit, then eventually headed back home and Billie just couldn't stop smiling and Anna laughed at him a little for that and him, Mike, Tre,and Adrienne talked and stuff, while Anna was skating around outside, since everything had dried out
"This is the happiest I've seen her in a while"Billie said smiling and they explained Dan to Adrienne and she spoke
"She's getting better and is happier and that's all that matters" and Billie spoke
"Apparently she knows how to play Am I Evil" he said laughing a little and that suprised the guys and Billie told them about Anna's friend and missing her and stuff, and Anna skated hard and came back in the house and flopped down on the couch and Billie spoke
"You skate good, Youngblood"and all he got back in response was a thumbs up and he just laughed at that and so she gained the strength to get up and go upstairs, and she changed out of her sweaty clothes, and went back down stairs and sat down next to Billie and spoke
"I took some fucking hits" and she stood up and rolled up her pant leg, and there were briuses and scrapes and Adrienne spoke
"Dang Youngblood"and Anna spoke
"Yeah, welcome to the life of a skater"she said laughing a little"so everyone just chilled and hung out and stuff, eventually Mike and Tre left and Anna was worn out, and she was just chilling with Billie and she yawned and rubbed her eyes and was tired and Billie just laughed a little and spoke
"I swear, you're like a little kid when you rub your eyes and are tired"he said smiling and Anna just laughed a little and spoke
"Yeah, I've gotten that a lot actually"and he was just smiling at her and spoke
"Love you Youngblood"
"Love you too Billo, and if you give me a hug, I may pass out on you"and Billie just laughed a little
"I'll take my chances" and he gave her a hug and Anna just laughed a little and spoke
"The punk rocker is a big softy"and Billie was laughing
"Yeah, but look who's talking Youngblood"
"True"it was a very relaxing night after that.
(Time skip-3 days)
So everyone went to the airport to pick Scott up and Anna was so excited to see her dad again, she really missed him and plus she was really excited to play that show tonight, and when Anna saw her dad,she basically almost tackled him, but hey nothing new, and they went over by everyone and they all gave him hugs and said hi and stuff,so they headed back home and Anna was buzzing with excitement for tonight, they were playing at the Fox Theater and Anna knew Billie had some stuff up his sleeve, so it was going to be an awesome night and she was excited,smiling,happy and that just made everyone's day, so they caught Scott up on some stuff he'd missed and left some stuff out and so Scott was getting situated and talked to Stacy for a while, and Anna spoke
"Stop Drop and Roll!! was actually realeased on Dan's birthday, I forgot to tell you that and all I have to say was that it was somewhat suiting" then Billie spoke
"Well fuck, you know we have to put some of those songs on the set then" he said laughing a little,so they put together a set list and it went like:
-Ruby Room
-Devil's Kind
-Jump
-Kill Your Friends
-Broadway
-Cult Hero
-Fever Blister
-Panama
-Brain Stew
-Hot For Teacher
-Say Goodbye
-State of Shock
-Unchained
-Nuclear Family
-Blood, Sex,and Booze
-Kill the DJ
-Jaded
-Too Much Too Soon
-Loss of Control
-Boulevard of Broken Dreams
-Walking Contradition
-Am I Evil
-Having A Blast
-King for a Day
-Seek and Destroy
-Good Riddance
-Dizzy- the song Anna wrote about Dan
And it was for sure one hell of a set list and Anna started laughing, she was curious to see if Billie could actually sing Am I Evil or Seek and Destroy and they practiced some of it, but not what they didn't want Scott to hear yet, so after that, they just chilled and Anna went and found her dad, who was chilling in the living room and he spoke
"Hey kiddo"
"Hi"
"Some what've I missed"and Anna told him most of the stuff that happened while he was gone and he was happy that she was happy and so after she was done explaining to her dad, she went and found Adrienne and sat down next to her and Adrienne spoke
"What's up Youngblood"
"Nothing, I'm just excited and bored"
"Well, what you wanna do to kill some time"and Anna just shrugged her shoulders and spoke
"I haven't draw in awhile, so I guess I could do that"and she got up and went to her room and grabbed her personal binder from sixth and seventh grade and found her old pencil case and went back downstairs by Adrienne and when she sat down, Adrienne laughed a little at her binder because it was covered in album and song titles, band members name's, pro skaters, had a nimrod sticker taped on it, along with a rainbow smilely face sticker and she spoke
"Dang Youngblood,you can punk out a binder"
"Yeah"and she opened it and found all of her old drawings and pulled them all out, it was every Bones Brigade member's skate graphics, some silly Green Day fan art, and a bunch of other random stuff and Adrienne spoke
"Wow, you're really good at drawing Youngblood"
"Thanks, I did almost of it in class, back when I was still in school"and Adrienne looked through all of them
"Wow"and Anna looked through all the other random papers in there and found a note, that her depressed as fuck seventh grade self wrote and spoke
"Damn, I still fucking kept this, to remind myself that I'm still breathing"and she handed it to Adrienne and she read it and spoke
"Youngblood, you actually wrote this"
"Yeah I was all fucked up, but I kept it with me to look at, to prove that I survived some fucked up demons"and Adrienne gave her a hug
"Well that's awesome and how are you so good at drawing"and Anna just shrugged her shoulders
"I don't know, but now I don't know what to draw"and she thought about it and got some ideas
"Wait I got it"and she started drawing and she drew Stitch, then drew a little animated 80 and before she showed it to Adrienne,she went and showed it to Billie and he spoke
"Okay, one, that is one of the cutest things I've ever seen and two, how are you so good at drawing"
"I don't know"and she went back by Adrienne and showed her and she just smiled and laughed a little and spoke
"That's a cute drawing of me"and Anna just smiled, she was really happy and she didn't know why and spoke
"Okay how is it possible that two super good looking people end up together, I mean Billie is just adorable and has really good genes apparently, and you are just freaking beautiful, you both look younger than you are, like how"and Adrienne just laughed
"I have absolutely no idea, but thanks Youngblood"and Adrienne started laughing
"You're 15 and barley five foot though, you're short and cute"she said laughing and Anna just sat there with a stupid look on her face and spoke
"Yeah, I'm the shortest person here, everyone is short, except Mike"
"Yeah"and Anna drew a little animated Billie and showed to Adrienne and she spoke
"Now that's just adorable"so once it was time to leave, they packed up and heade over to the Fox Theater and set up and soundcheck and the usual,so they just relaxed until the show started and the next thing they knew, they were walking out on stage and the audience cheered and Billie spoke
"This show is in honor of someone special and there are some suprises in store, but first one thing"and he went backstage and grabbed a different guitar and came back out on stage, it was black Fender guitar, with a red pick guard, and white strips all over it, like the Frankenstrat, and silver letters on the body of it that spelled out 'Dizzy' and Billie handed it to Anna and she was just in awe and she gave him a hug and he was smiling, so she set Frankie aside and was going to use Dizzy tonight and she spoke into her mic
"Dad, I'm pretty sure you can figure out who this show is in honor of"and she grabbed one of Dan's last guitar picks that her dad gave her out of her pocket and they jumped into Ruby Room and after the song Anna spoke
"So back in Wisconsin at my childhood home, downstairs in the basement was the band room, where my dad's band Tainted Perception would practice, anyway, there is still a fucking unopen Pabst Blue Ribbon beer still down on the counter down there, from god knows what year"she said laughing a little, then they played Devil's Kind, then Jump and before they played it, Anna spoke
"This special person that this show is in honor of how highly my dad talked about him and in his words, 'It was like working with a mini Eddie Van Halen', VH for life"and they just kicked it, and Anna was dying laughing because Billie had people in the fucking crowd, actually jumping, then they played Kill Your Friends, Broadway, Cult Hero, Fever Blister, Panama, and Brain Stew and Anna spoke
"So I was born on February 3rd 2006, for all the sleepless nights my dad endured between working, taking care of me, and being in a band, mad fucking respect" then they played Hot For Teacher, Say Goodbye, State of Shock and Anna was on the verge of tears at this point but pushed through, then they played Unchained and that's always a fun song, then Nuclear Family, Blood, Sex, and Booze, Kill the DJ, Jaded, Too Much Too Soon and Anna had glossy eyes and she spoke
"When I was just about almost two years old, the person who this show is in honor of, one of my dad's ride or die buddy's he died, then the holidays hit, then I was in the hospital for almost a week and it was a lot all at one time and yeah" then they played Loss of Control, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Walking Contradition, and Anna looked at Billie, Mike,and Tre, then at her dad and then jumped into Am I Evil and Scott's face was priceless and it was so fun to play and Anna was surprised at how Billie sang the song, along with her, then they played Having a Blast, then King for a Day and Anna spoke
"I have finally, fully come to terms with who I am, I am genderfluid, sometimes my pronouns are she/her and my name is Anna, sometimes my pronouns are him/he or them/they and my name is Andy, and I like girls, but to these three awesome people on stage with me, I am myself, I am Youngblood and to my dad I will always be kiddo and I'm fucking proud"she said smiling and she had tears of joy rolling down her face and Billie gave her a hug and spoke
"And we're fucking proud of you Youngblood"he said smiling, then they playing Seek and Destroy, then they played Good Riddance and Anna had been in tears or almost in tears the whole show and she just sang Good Riddance with so much emotion, with her eyes closed, with tears ready to pour like a waterfall out of them, and she just broke down in a way, physically, she fell to her knees and looked up with tear filled,glossy eyes and mouthed 'This is for you' and she was getting all of those feelings about Dan's story that she didn't tell anyone and it was such a release and torture at the same time and at the last note she spoke
"I know Dan had the time of his life playing and jamming with you, Dad" and she just closed her eyes and tears rolled down her face, then spoke
"I've idolized my dad always, I remember when I was likfe five and I went to school and another kid asked me what my parents did and I said my dad was in a band and the kid asked me what kid of music he played and I said rock n roll and the kid clearly did not like that answer, and just I wanted to play this show so badly, to give me and my dad piece of mind and to let go of some stuff and I know that awesome motherfucker is probably rockin out over us right now" and she looked at her dad and spoke " I don't think that I have ever ever worried or cared about a person more and I love you dad and I wanted to play this show to make you happy and just yeah"and she went over and gave him a hug and he was in tears and spoke
"I love you kiddo, t-this is the most kick ass thing almost anyone has done form me and I know Dan's playing Am I Evil over us right now"and he looked at her and smiled
"Now go kick some more ass"and she went back to her mic and before they played Dizzy, Anna spoke
"When we were putting together this set,I picked the songs that I know Dan loved and the songs I thought he would like and after I explain this, every song we picked to play, will hopefully make sense, so back in 2007, my dad had his band, Tainted Perception and I was just a baby and anyway one night my dad was over at his guitar player's house, his name was Dan and he begged my dad not to go that night, but my dad had to go home and take care of me and they both had a really bad feeling that something was going to happen and it did, Dan accidentaly OD'd because of his medication being screwed up and it was really bad and he was a super cool dude, was supposed to be my god father and nothing was going good or right around this time in my dad's life and the part I left out was that, once I got the story, I blamed myself for his death and my reasoning was because if it wasn't for me, then my would have never had to leave, and Dan would probably still be alive and I know it's not my fault, but I felt like it was, even though he is gone, his memory with always live on in every song I write adn chord I play, I may have not known him, had a relationship with him, or remember him that well, but he means a lot to my dad, so he means a lot to me" and she was starting to tear up " I remember back when I was 13 before I met these awesome people, that I said I would go back and time and make sure my dad's dream of being a pro skater came true even if that meant I wouldn't be here and I lost sleep because I blamed myself for Dan, if it wasn't because my dad had to take care of me, he'd still be alive and my dad would've been happy, that's all I want, the one person in my biological family that is not dead, cut off, lives in another states, or down the list, all I want is for the people I love to be happy and have a smile on their face, I want my dad to be happy, Billie, Mike,Tre, Adrienne, all I want is to make sure is that they are happy, because no matter what, they've always made me happy and put a smile on my face"and she was smiling with tears rolling down her face, and Billie, Mike,and Tre gave her a group hug and had tears in their eyes, and she spoke
"And my dad spoke so highly of him and he was all classically trained and shit, so they would open up the first minute and a half of their shows with some Beethoven, amplified and it was amazing and a lot more goes into it but main thing, is he meant a lot to my dad and even though I didn't really know him he means a lot to me and just yeah"and she was gonna start crying in a minute and spoke
"Dizzy, this one's for you man"and they jumped into the song and when it was done Anna was actually crying and Billie gave her a hug and spoke into the mic
"Okay would the members of Tainted Perception, get up here" and Scott ran out on stage and gave Anna a hug and was in tears
"I love you kiddo,this is amazing" and when they let go, Anna gave Billie a hug, then grabbed her mic as their other guitar player walked up on stage and she spoke
"This crazy motherfucker gave me a Stitch stuffed animal when I was three and that's how he won me over, because I use to be scared of him and he always wanted me to sing for them to start practice when I was younger, PJ you're awesome" then she saw another one of their bass players
"Denis you just awesome man" then their bass player, they've had a variety of members, but just the original ones came up and she spoke one last time
"C'mon one last Am I Evil for Dan"and Scott spoke
"Then you're vocals kiddo"and she nodded and so Tre jumped down from his kit and Scott got on it, Mike surrendered his bass to Denis, and Billie surrendered his guitar to PJ and then they jumped into Am I Evil and when they were done, the guys were looking at them in shock, and so Scott's old bend members gave Billie and Mike their instruments back and Billie spoke
"Damn Youngblood you weren't kidding when you said I haven't seen anything yet from them"and she spoke
"Yep"
"One more suprise"and Billie went back stage and grabbed something and came back with a drum cover with Scott's tattoo, that he got for Dan on it and Scott was just so happy and gave Billie a hug and Anna spoke
"One more thing, I couple years back I think it was Dan's birthday and my dad started playing Chris Cornell's music on YouTube for me and he explained to me that Dan loved Chris Cornell's music and that it was played at his funeral, and thhis one specific song stuck with me" and had her aucostic  and started playing 'Nearly Forgot My Broken Heart' by Chris Cornell, you could just hear the pure, raw emotion in her voice, that cracked every so often, everyone stood there mesmerized and once she was done, she felt a pair of arms around her and she looked up and it was her dad, who spoke
"That was amaing kiddo" and he was in tears, then Billie spoke
"Thank you and good night"and the confetti cannons went off and they walked off stage and Billie spoke
"This was all Youngblood's idea"and Scott gave her a another hug
"Thanks kiddo"
"Your welcome"she said smiling and Billie spoke
"I have another suprise for you Youngblood"and he walked away and came back with Celia with him and Anna immediately hugged her best friend and was in tears of joy and spoke
"I missed you dork"and Celia was in tears of joy too
"I missed you too" and Anna spoke
"Billie I fricking love you, you're awesome" and he spoke
"One more thing"and he grabbed something and handed Anna a box and spoke
"They're called Bond Bracelets and two people wear them and when one person tapes on it, it send a vibration to the other person's bracelets and vice versa, for when you miss each other" he said smiling and Anna gave him a hug, so they headed back home and everyone just relaxed and eventually Mike and Tre left and Celia was staying with them,so her and Anna were upstairs in Anna's room hanging out and catching up and Scott was talking to Billie about the show and stuff and it was a pretty good day for sure.