Untie my heart

Life up until now River

It all went to hell when I was 6 years old. We have never been in a pack. My family were called rogue wolves, wolves without a pack, but we were happy, mom, dad, future baby sister and me.

I remember the day my baby sister was born, etched into my memory as both the saddest and happiest day of my life.

In the days before her birth, running around the house with my dad, playing hide and seek with mom, I remember the promise I made to my mom, the promise I have never and will never break, the promise to always love and protect my baby sister. We had just sat down to lunch when my mom started to feel the contractions. My mother called for my attention, "River, your sister is coming soon! Your father and I need to go to the midwife, wait here for us to come back, Ms Carter will come by to watch you while we are out. I love you my boy and never forget your promise, protect and love your baby sister always". My mother smiled down at me with the warmest smile, to this day I wonder if she knew that something was going to happen to her but I will never know because I never spoke to her again after that day.

I waited for what felt like days for my parents and new baby sister to come home. I can still see the lifeless eyes of my father as he walked into the house with the baby carrier and without my mother. Hearing the door open after anxiously waiting I ran to the door to find my father and baby sister in her car carrier. "Daddy!! I am so glad you are home, can I see the baby, where is mommy?!?!"

My father looked at me with dead eyes, the eyes that used to light up every time he made eye contact with me or mom, the eyes that used to hold nothing but love now looked empty and angry.

"Your mother is not coming home River, this little bitch killed her" he said while throwing the baby carrier on the floor by my feet.

Shocked, scared, confused, sad all of my emotions were running wild while my mind processes what my father just said.

"Wait daddy, what do you mean mommy is dead?" The tears were starting to fall and I could not get my breath.

"She is gone River, your sister killed her while she was giving birth" My dad stormed passed me and went to the kitchen, leaving my new baby sister Hope crying at my feet.

I scooped her up out of the carrier and from that moment on, I took care of, protected and loved her just like I promised mom I would.

At first it was just neglect, my father never took care of Hope, never had formula or diapers, I learned fast what I had to do to keep her safe, stealing money and supplies to keep her healthy and happy.

The first time I had to jump in between my father and Hope was when she was 4. I remember that day vividly, in part due to the trauma and in part due to the reoccurring nightmares that plague both Hope and I. We were in the living room playing and Hope had started to cry, she wanted to stay up but it was time for bed. As a 10 year old boy who has been raising her from birth I knew what needed to be done and no amount of fussing would delay bed time. My father, who was drunk as always got extremely mad at the amount of noise Hope was making. I was calmly telling her that she had to sleep, negotiating with her to try to calm her when my father stormed into the room.

"What you little bitch" my father screamed, "killing your mom was not enough now you have to disturb the entire house!" Dad walked over to her, hate in his eyes, and as he raised his hand to slap her, time  slowed down. I ran over to him grabbing his hand right before he made contact with her face. He looked at me, momentarily shocked at my action (but not as shocked as I was at his) he gave her one last hard glare before punching me full force with his other hand.

I fell to the ground, wide eyed and hurt as he turned around and walked back to the kitchen for more beer. Hope was quiet, looking at me with horrified eyes. Even though I was in pain, my face pounding and blood dripping down my forehead, I still found the strength to comfort Hope.

"It's okay baby girl", I cooed, daddy is just tired, "let's get you to bed okay?" That night I cried myself to sleep in Hopes room, too afraid to leave her side, to leave her defenseless against the man that used to be my father.

I wish I could say that was the worst that happened but it was only the beginning. That day was the first day of our new lives, my "dad" desperate to make Hope pay for the death of his mate and me doing anything I had to do to protect her.

The first few years were the worst, my body is covered in scars that won't fade because my wolf was not active yet. Punches turned to beatings, beating to whippings, whippings to cutting and burning.

After I turned 13 and shifted for the first time things got better, not the abuse but the healing was much faster and I was better able to protect Hope. While my father only ever managed to land a few slaps on Hope I was covered in scars from my role as protector. My father saw my protection of Hope as a betrayal of my mother's memory, while I saw it as honoring her.

Shortly after turning 13 I started working to save money for our escape. As a 13 year old rogue living in neutral territory right outside of the royal packs lands it was hard to find work but I managed. I signed Hope up for school and as many after school programs as I could find so she would not be home with dear old dad while I worked several jobs, saving and planning our new life in the human world.

School for me was hard, a rogue going to school with the royal pack was challenging. From day one of kindergarten I was the target of bully's, my main tormentors were the future queen Becca and her gang of high ranking friends. When we were younger it was mostly words, mean things being said to me while I tried to keep my head down, mind my own business and heal my many injuries. In middle school the physical bullying started. A few punches turned into broken bones and general awfulness but nothing compared to what I had at home. In my junior year of high school the royal squad stopped the physical abuse and just ignored me, which I could not be more grateful for. I can take mental abuse, at least while at school and work my wolf could heal my broken body.

Walking in to school today, I have just over 15k saved, its my 18th birthday and time for our great escape.