Untie my heart

Its almost my birthday! Hope

Time has flown by these last few weeks. River seems to be opening up to Becca and I am
back at school.

School has always been fun, I have lots of friends and get good grades. Thankfully no one in my school ever cared that I was a rogue so things have always been okay but now that I am a princess it's amazing! Everyone is super nice as always but I also have all new clothes, shoes and a new backpack!

Don't get me wrong, River always taken really good care of me but I never had such expensive stuff. Oh and the queen and king gave me my very own iPhone!!! I am so happy it's unreal.

Now that I am part of the pack I can see my friends everyday and I have a way less stressed version of River, which I love! My birthday is tomorrow and I am going to have my very first real birthday party! The queen has been working her butt off saying that everything has to be perfect. I told her a hundred times that I don't need a big party but she insists saying that no daughter of hers is going to have a small birthday party.

On top of the amazing party tomorrow is also my 13th birthday which means I am going to shift for the first time!! My whole life River has told me stories about my mom, that she was beautiful inside and out but what always captured my curiosity was her wolf.

River told me my mom was a beautiful white wolf with black feet making it look like her wolf was wearing shoes.

Rivers wolf if black like my dads so I hope I have some white like mom. I am nervous about shifting because I have heard it hurts like hell but River has always told me that running as your wolf is the most amazing feeling so I am nervous but also sooo excited.

I wish my mom could be with me for my first change but I will have River, Becca, my adoptive parents and Garret.

I am normally really uncomfortable around grown men, mostly because of my father I imagine but Garret and I connected almost immediately. Something about him makes me feel safe, like when I am with River and I can tell he really loves me. The queen told me a little about Garrets past and it breaks my heart. The queen said that Garret needs me as much as I need him and that she has not seen him this happy since his mate passed away.

I am so grateful that I get to share my first shift with him and my family, not including my POS father because that man was NEVER my family. I have not thought much about my dad in the last few weeks, when I first got here the nightmares were really bad but Garret gave me his hoodie to sleep with and it has taken the nightmares away. I sometimes over hear Becca and the king talking about the rogue queen and it makes me worry.

No one will tell me what really happened when River was with her, River told me some crap about just reading the entire time but I know he lied. River couldn't lie to save his life, his eyes always show the truth. Part of me really wants to know what happened but the other part just wants to forget all about it. River came back unharmed and I guess that is all that matters anyway.

Sam is cool, we hang out when my friends are busy and at breakfast. Sam seems really close to Becca but to be honest she is a little scary. I guess being scary and close to the future queen makes her the best option for beta haha!!

I still don't know exactly what it was that River was so afraid of the night we ran away, I have asked a few times but River just avoids the topic and Becca just says River is not used to being loved and safe. Kinda sounds like bs to me what whatever....

I just finished my homework and River told me he wants to show me something.

"Hi bug" River greets me. "Hey bro, what are you up to?", I ask.

"You will see soon enough" he says will a mischievous smile. "Follow me munchkin", River says while giving me a side hug.

I follow River to his and Becca's room, once inside he tells me to sit on the couch and close my eyes tight. I giggle but comply. I can hear River moving around the room and then I sense him in front of me.

"Okay", he says excitedly, "open your eyes". I open my eyes and River is in front of me with a small box wrapped in birthday wrapping paper. The paper is all messed up, like torn and dirty but River still has a big smile on his face.

"Sorry about the wrapping", he say, "I have been carrying it around for just over a month so it's seen some crazy things" he continues laughing at his own joke. I can't help but smile, this has always been our tradition, the day before my birthday River gives me my gift because on my birthday we always go to the cemetery to see mom. River always says we celebrate two things on my birthday, the day the best little sister in the world was born and my moms life.

Even though it's sad that my mom died River always treats it like a celebration of her life not the loss of it.

I take the small box and unwrap it quickly. River always gives me the most thoughtful gifts. Money has always been tight but he always makes my birthday special. Once the wrapping is off I see that it's a small jewelry box, I open it up and inside is the most beautiful necklace with a white wolf, black paws howling up towards the sky. Tears sting my eyes as I look up to him, "it's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen" I say through my sobs.

River pulls me into a tight hug, "happy birthday bug, you are the most important person in my life, never forget that okay kid", he says with tears of his own falling down his face.

"Never", is all I say while we hug tight. I really have the best brother in the world, I just wish mom could be around to see how amazing he turned out to be.