Untie my heart

Even if I only knew love for a moment, I will cherish it always Rogue Queen

Standing still, my face is blank as I look down towards Rivers grave. Hope is crying hysterically next to me, our fingers laced together in a futile attempt to comfort one another.

The priest begins speaking, giving the traditional prayer for an alpha's funeral. When River was first taken I frantically looked for him, hopeful that he was just lost or perhaps he was not paying attention to the time and was going to walk in the door at any moment.

Unfortunately as night fell I knew. I spent the next few days working on a rescue plan, while I managed to use Lisa's magic to confirm he was captured my the royal queen.

Watching his memories as she tortured him was the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life but it was nothing compared to his last memory. I watched, tears falling freely from my eyes as River apologized to Hope and I for slitting his wrists. I lost my mind as he said he loved us before taking his last breath.

It kills me to know that River killed himself to protect Hope and I. If I could take his place I would have in a second. At first I was hopeful that maybe he was saved in time, while I did not want him to suffer any longer I could not handle the idea of his death. After several days searching for additional memories, each time finding nothing but darkness I had to admit the hard truth, my love, my mate, my River is dead.

Telling Hope was the second hardest thing I have ever had to do. I saw her heart break and I could feel her pain and it broke me inside. Now here we are, at Rivers funeral, everyone dressed in black mourning a great man taken from us too soon.

I have not been able to cry, not since watching is death, it is like my heart only lived while River was here and now it has died again. I have no desire to seek revenge at this moment, perhaps that will change but all I feel now is emptiness.

Lisa is comforting me the best she can but nothing will bring him back to us. I keep myself locked in my office doing busy work for the pack for the next few weeks. I am weakened from not eating or sleeping but what does it matter, I could die right now and I don't think I could find the energy to fight it.

Lisa is pushing me to attack the royal pack but I just can't think of that right now. I try to spend time with Hope but it is hard, every time I look into her beautiful eyes I see River looking back at me and I break all over again.

Today is yet another day that I plan to stay locked in my office. I have been here for about 5 hours when I hear the alarms going off indicating a breach in security. A large part of me wants to just sit and wait here for them to come for me, wanting death so I don't have to feel this pain anymore.

The sudden realization that Hope needs me, the pack needs me breaks me out of my funk and I make my way towards to fighting. The royal pack has attacked us, thousands of royal warriors are attacking with viscous precision.

I watch as rogues and royals fall, lives lost in both sides for what, for vengeance? I jump into battle killing without mercy, a machine, I become the cold hearted killer I was raised to be.

Lisa is using her magic to blast fire balls and arrows are flying through the sky. I fight for what feels like hours until I spot Sam, the royal beta. We lock eyes and she rushes at me, ready to tear me apart. I am exhausted from the lack of food and sleep but I manage to get a few good hits in before she injures me to the point of no return. I know I won't win this fight.

Time slows to a crawl as I look over and see Hope being dragged away by royal warriors, my men who are not dead are kneeling in defeat as Lisa and I make eye contact one more time. I look behind her just in time to watch a warrior plunge a sword straight through her heart. With Lisa's last breath she shoots a ball of magic at me, hitting me with force right before Sam lands her death blow on my body....... I suppose this is poetic justice, killed by my dearest friend right before my foes second in command finished me off......welcome to the darkness my life has always been... welcome to the death I deserve. In the moment right before my death I desperately pull for one last memory of River, the realization that the memory I pull shows that River survived both comforts and destroys me as I succumb to the darkness of death.