Untie my heart

This is bad River

I wake up slowly, momentarily blissfully unaware of everything going on. I stretch and open my eyes. Looking around it takes a moment for everything to come back to me.

I hold me breath for a moment searching the room for Becca. I slowly breath out when I realize that she is not here. I get out of bed and move to the door, of course it's locked, I don't even know why I try. I roll my eyes and make my way over to the closet for clothes.

I feel gross, like I have not showered in days. I jump in the shower quickly trying to wrap my head around this fucked up situation. I can't understand how Becca could do this to me, she says she loves me but her actions say otherwise.

I have not had a lot of love in my life but what little I have had was not like this. My mother would never have hurt my father, I would never hurt Hope...Rose would never have done this. Rose...do I love her or was it the spell? I don't know for sure but for being the big bad evil rogue queen she never once hurt me.

Rose treated Hope and I the way a real mate should and that just adds on to my confusion. Rose did kidnap Hope and I, but she never forced herself on me. Even with the spell I was not ready to mark and mate and Rose was nothing but patient and loving. Looking back she should have felt the need to force the bond like Becca did but she did not. Why would Rose not force the bond, how could someone who is not my mate treat me with more respect than my actual mate?

I finish up my shower, dress and slowly make my way out of the bathroom. I can hear low voices outside the bedroom door. I slowly and quietly make my way to the door hoping that I can hear what is being said.

I hear an unknown males voice speaking "yeah, she is just waiting for the witch to gather supplies and then it will be done" the first voice says.

Another male voice speaks " do you think this is okay?" He asks.

The first man speaks again " I would never do it but he is not my mate, I guess I can see both sides" he says sounding sad.

The second man speaks sounding angry "messing with someone's memory is bad, how can she justify taking her mates memories, I'm sorry dude queen or not it's too far" he says.

"Look dude" the first guy snaps " she is our queen, this is not our call. Let her hear you questioning her decision and you will end up dead, just fucking drop it" he concludes.

"Whatever" the second guy says shortly, and then nothing, they are silent now.

My head is spinning with this new information, Becca is going to have a witch remove my memory, this is bad. Panic, all I feel is panic, how could she do this, I am a person, she can't mess with my memories right? I pace around the room for a long time before I hear Jake approaching.

"Hello gentlemen" Jake chirps to the guards, "I have the kings lunch". I do not hear a reply from the guards but I do hear the door unlock and Jake walks inside.

"Good morning sir River", Jake says in a happy tone. I frown at him. Jakes attitude turns somber, "I'm sorry sir, I know this is a big mess right now but it will get better", he says.

I roll my eyes, "better... really, do you think this is okay?", I say while waving my arms around.

Jake lowers his head, "I'm sorry sir, I know this is not ideal but when life gives you lemons...right", he says with a slightly hopeful voice.

I just shake my head no, "this is not right Jake and you know it" I snap.

Jake continues to look at the ground, "sir River, you need to understand, when you were gone things got really bad" he says and I can't help but notice the tears falling from his face.

"How bad?" I whisper, dread filling my entire body.

Jake wipes his tears quickly, "really bad sir, my mate..s-she wa-was given 20 lashes for accidentally b-b-breaking a bowl a-a-and that was one of the b-better p-p-pun-punishments that the qu-queen ordered", Jake says while shaking. "N-now that y-your b-back it's, it's better" Jake says with relief in his tone.

My face pales, Becca hurt her own people, her pack, my mind is reeling as I sit down hard on the bed. I rub my face, unsure of what to do. I was going to find a way to run but now...how could I leave knowing that I could push her over the edge again.

I look to Jake sadly, "I'm sorry", I whisper.

Jake looks to me with a frown, "it's okay sir, it was not your fault, I-it will be better now, you will see", he says with a small smile. Jake sets the tray of food down on the table and waves his arm over it, indicating that he wants me to come and eat. I hesitate for a moment, wondering if a hunger strike would do anything but I quickly dismiss that thought, being weak from hunger will do nothing to help me. I smile sadly at him and make my way to the table.

Jake and I make some small talk before I put my hand on his shoulder, "I am really sorry man" is all I can think to say.

Jake grabs my hand and squeezes it, "I'm sorry too" he says sounding defeated.

"Hey Jake, have you seen Hope?", I ask hopeful that she is safe, wherever she is.

Jake shakes his head no, "from what I understand she is still with the rogue queen", Jake says sadly.

I breath out a sigh of relief, I can't help but feel that Hope is safer with Rose than Rebecca.

"Thank you for everything Jake, you are a good friend" I say honestly.

Jake smiles wide and nods, "you too sir River", he says while standing and making his way to the door. "I will be back tomorrow for breakfast", Jake says and I look at him with a questioning look. "Ah well queen Rebecca will be joining you for dinner tonight so her personal chef will be bringing food", he says in a shy tone.

My face falls and I nod, not trusting my voice. Jake nods one more time and exits the room, the familiar sound of the door locking behind him as he leaves.