Can't let YOU go !!!

CHAPTER 7: BITTER PAST

Shehnaaz woke up at 5 in the morning. Due to medicines she slept soon and now she woke up soon. She found a nurse in her room sleeping in sofa. She didn't woke her up. She shifted in a sitting position with a little difficulty. Her lower waist has some pain but not as much as yesterday. Now the pain was bearable. Not like yesterday. The last day was just the worst. She tried to recall everything happened yesterday. Suddenly she missed her mother. She lives alone and her family lives in Punjab. She is self reliant, self depended and self made.

"Amma" she murmured almost soundlessly. She rested her hear in headrest in her bed. It was a nice hospital. She looked around the room again as she did it yesterday. That must be an expensive hospital.

She started thinking about her life.

Shehnaaz's childhood was loveless. When she was younger her father left them in Punjab and went to Germany for earn their livelihood. They weren't doing well that time. Her mother couldn't support the expense of two children. Shehnaaz and his younger brother. As she was the elder one, her mother sent her to her uncle's house. He was her mother's brother. However they kept her in their house. But they didn't take care of her as they cared their own child. After some years when his father started sending money home, her mother started sending some money for the expense of Shehnaaz. That's how they started sending her to school. But she didn't get the privilege like other school goers. She had to help in household chores after getting back from school. She used to get her food in wasted plates of their cousin. She had to make lassi by her little tiny hands. She was a little soul longing for mothers love. She didn't get to visit her mother often. When her mother used to come they treated her well. She used to cry her heart out saying her mother to take her with her mother. But she couldn't have her mother as much she wanted. She used to cry all night hugging her mother's dress. Years were passing like this. She got used to without mother and family. She tried to make herself adjusted with all those taught times. However things got a little better when his father came back in country. They brought Shehnaaz back home. That time she finished her seventh.

After returning home she felt happy having her parents and her younger brother with her. she was very skinny because she didn't get right food. But this time she was having it. She got her mother back. She was happy but happiness is something that wanted to test her. his father got her admitted to a hostel. Her heart broke again. She had to leave home for a better school. She again was left alone. However this time was much better than living with her uncle's. she had children around her age now and she also had the experience of living without family.

She finished school then got back home but this time she had another problem. Her thinking doesn't matched with her family, they started having problem with her. After dealing with them for a long time she this time left her parents place. Her father hit her which lead her to do that. People cant take hatred from them who didn't gave love a bit at the first place. She didn't get fathers love to react any way different than this.

She studied social study. She was a social worker. But family wanted her to join politics. Her father was a politician. But she somehow couldn't think about this kind of social work for her.

She wanted to do something for children. She came to Mumbai and joined an NGO of children.

Now life was good. She worked hard and earned well enough to support herself well. She is doing well.

Relationships was not long termed for Shehnaaz. Though she wanted to have it. Somehow they didn't work well. Now she was single.

***************

Her thought broke when the nurse woke up.

"Mam, when did you woke up? How are you feeling? Is there any pain?" she hurriedly came to Shehnaaz.

"Mam kyun. Call me Shehnaaz. And I'm fine. A little pain in thighs." She replied.

The nurse hurriedly went to grab something

"Arreh arreh relax. Aap bhaag kyun rahi ho. Dhire jao." Shehnaaz said.

"No, mam. I got a strict instruction from Dr. Sidharth. I was not supposed to sleep. You were on close observation. If he gets to know then I'm gone." The nurse said scared.

"Hain? Kyun? Main koyi critical patient thori na hu. Mere to just pain hain. Itna kuch matlab ye close vlose observation kyun?" Shehnaaz asked confused.

"I was also confused when he instructed me. then I thought you must be close or related to him. I'm gone if he gets to know." The nurse said preparing he medicines.

"How will he know? If we don't tell him. Relax" Shehnaaz assured her.

The breathed this time.

"thank you so much mam. You are really sweet person." She said.

"Sweet bhi hu. Cute bhi hu. Aur bohot acchi vi hu" she said flipping her hair which made the nurse laughed out loud. She was praising herself.

"of course you are Mam. You take these medicine. I will inform a doctor to check you soon." She said and left the room

Shehnaaz took the medicines and thought.

'So Dr. Sidharth gandhe driver ne mujhe kal help kiya. Fir hospital le aye. Khayal bhi rakkha, khud mere case bhi dekh rahe hain. Aab is nurse ko mere itne close observation me rakkha. Just for my pain. mujhe to jayada kharoch bhi nehi aayi.

Hain kya woh cheez? Kyun kar rahe meri itni fikarr. Issliye kyun ki unki car se meri takkar lagi. Kabhi kabhi to kitne gandhe baat karte hain aur kabhi kabhi itni care karr rahe hain'

Then she remember how he held her in his arm. Picked her up. Placed her in bed. She shivered when she remembered his touch in her thigh. She bit her lower lip. She closed her eyes. She remembered his lips an inch near hers in the car. His breathing was touching her lips. She wanted her lips to get touched by his.

She licked her own lips in her desire to have his lips. Then she shrugged her thoughts.

"Sana, kya hogaya hain tujhe. Kiske bare me soch rahi hain tu. Jinhe tu janti bhi nehi. Wohh handsome doctor is not yours so you cant think so dirty about him." She shook her head and smacked her own head by her hand.

The nurse came and she asked her to grab her bag. She picked her dress.

"Aap akele naha payenge?" the nurse asked.

"Toh air kya! Aapka plan kya mere sath bathroom main bhi jane ka hain kya. Ya phir aapke Dr sahib ne ye bhi bola ke bathroom me bhi ghusjao Shehnaaz ke sath." She laughed.

"unhone apko 2 second ke liye bhi chorne ko mana kiya." She answered.

"Main nehi lene wali aapko mere bathroom me." Shehnaaz rejected the offer.

"Then let me help you to the bathroom." The nurse helped her to get in. and again said

"Jaldi kijiye ga. Kyunki doctor aajayenge."

"thik hain" Shehnaaz said huffingly.

"aur mam main yehi hu. Kuch chahiye to awaaz dena." The nurse said.

"Areh tum to mere piche hi padi ho" Shehnaaz laughed.

"instruction hain Mam." The nurse replied as Shehnaaz got in the washroom.

Shehnaaz got freshen up. Had a shower with a little difficulty.

She was enjoying the cold water in her bare body. She scrubbed her body. She scrubbed her aching leg and thigh and stopped where she felt Sidharth's touch yesterday. She smiled shyly. The cold water was making her mind fresh. When she heard a loud knock on the door.

The nurse shouted-

"Mam. Come out quickly. Doctor Sidharth is here."