Can't let YOU go !!!

CHAPTER 10: FEAR OF LOSING

'Did he just called me BABY!!!!!!!!'

'yes he did call me BABY. It sounds so sweet from his mouth. That's okay but what not okay is how I felt listening to that. My mind is getting off track. Get a grip on your mind girl.' Shehnaaz thought.

"aap ne khamkha itne der se darake rakkha mujhe. Pehele hi bata dena tha na. maine to saans tak bhi rok ke rakkha tha." Shehnaaz again pouted.

He let out a chuckle.

"itna dar kyun lagta hain tumhe isss se? itna sa hain aur 2 seconds lagte hain." He asked with a constant smile in his face.

"pata nehi" she also chuckled.

Sidharth wrote something in her file and asked her.

"aab tumhe kaisa lag raha hain?"

"Pehele se bohut behtaar. Pain bohut hi halka hain aur wohh bhi dawayi khane se pehele hi" she stated.

"That's good." He said leaving the file in a chair.

"main kaab tak ja sakti hu yaha se?" she asked this time seriously.

"Aaj aagar tum he thik laga pura then you can get discharge tomorrow." He said and suddenly realization hit him. He cant meet her from tomorrow. He wont see her again. She will be gone. These two days of knowing her was so memorable in some weird way.

"Oh, thank god. Mujhe bohot hi bore ho raha hain." She exhaled loudly.

"Okay, Ms. Shehnaaz. I hope you will be fine by tomorrow. I have to go now. Take care. And if you need anything inform the nurse" he said.

"thik hain, thank you."

He smiled and left the room.

**********

Shehnaaz got a call from her NGO at the evening. The call was from a colleague named Asim. Sana picked the call.

"Hello"

"Hi Sana, where have you been Man? Tu to gayeb hi ho gayi. Tu 2 din se NGO nehi aayi. Kisiko teri khabar bhi nehi hain". Asim said with his weird south African accent.

"wohh main hospital me hu." She answered

"kyun? Kon hain hospital me?" a little dumb Asim asked again.

"Main hu. Mera ek chotasa accident hogaya!"

"Holly fuck. What are you saying? Are you ok? Kon se hospital me hain tu?" he asked worried getting a shock.

"I'm fine Asim. Kal tak sayed thik ho jayu aur NGO aa jayu." She replied.

"No Man, tu pehele thik ho ja. Yaha pe hum dekh lenge. Tu bol konse hospital me hain. Main abhi Aata hu."

"koyi jarurat nahi hain. Main thik hu. Waise vi NGO me bohut kaam hoga na upcoming function ke liye. Itne sare taiyarri kaise kar rahae honge saab log. Aur main vi to nehi hu abhi. Tu saab kuch dheyan se dekhle. Saab kuch jayada jimmedari se karle." She suggested. She was worried about a function in their NGO which is actually a fund raiser function for handicapped and orphans.

"Yeah, of course Man. Tere bina sauch kaise ho jata hain tujhe to pata hi hain. Bacche to mujhe pagal bana rahe hain bolke Sana didi kahan hain, Sana didi kahan hain. Tujhe bohut miss kar rahe hain bacche."

She got emotional remembering her children. Of course her NGO's children. But she finds a connection with them. She never felt them not hers. She had a bitter childhood without her parents near her. she sees herself in these child. So she always tries to make them feel home. Make them feel wanted. In the middle of coldness of the world, she is the warm sun for them. At least she tries to be.

"Main bhi bohut hi jayada miss karr rahi hu unhe. Saab ka dheyan rakhna Asim. Main kal aajayungi. Aur bachcho ki practice ka dheyan rakhna." She said with some unshed tears in her eyes.

"rakhlunga. Aur tu aapna dheyan rakhle. Yaha ka tension matt le. Main sambhal lunga. Aur bhi log hain. Tu relax kar. Aur kuch jarurat ho toh jarur bol na mujhe. I'm here if you need." He said rightfully.

She smiled knowing at least there were some people who misses her and will be there if she needs. The world only made her strong by doing everything alone. There was no one when she needed. Asim's sweet gesture made her think about those bad phrase of her life.

"Haan, thank you. Rakhtihu.bye."

"Bye"

She hanged up the phone. She is waiting to get discharge.

**************

It was 8 in the night, Sidharth was in his office. It was his time to go home. Without the small weird incident in the morning, his day was very busy. He had to see a lot of patient. He didn't go to see Shehnaaz as she had no emergency. He had been of course informed about her from the nurse time to time. He was glad that she was fine. It at least lessened hid guilt towards her condition.

He wanted to see her before going to home. But why would he do that. Isn't this something mad and Sidharth beiong the sensible Shukla shouldn't do it. But he wanted it bad. She will be gone tomorrow. But if he went there without any reason what logic he would given to himself for wanting to go there.

Now that's a tough fight. His to himself. He thought for some minutes then he got one.

"I should go and ask her if she has any kind of pain and If I should change her medicines" he told himself though he just got her stats by the nurse about her temperature, pain and etc.

He left his office.

***************

He stood in front of the door and knocked it. Which is really rare in the hospitals. Doctors doesn't have to knock the doors. But he did , remember his logic. 'PREVENTION is better than CURE'

Shehnaaz has some deadly weapon that can kill him by look. So people had to be extra careful before his enemy, also who have that kind of deadly weapon.

He knocked it which got opened by the nurse.

Shehnaaz was there resting her head in the head side of her bed, he saw her. got in and went near her. she didn't look. She was looking beautiful, pure and peaceful. He asked the nurse if she was sleeping by eying her. she nodded her head.

Sidharth was disappointed that he wont get to talk to her today and she will be gone tomorrow.

But he could watch her without her knowing. He gestured the nurse to leave the room. She left.

Shehnaaz was sleeping in a sitting position, he thought it must be very uncomfortable. He went more close. he watched her eye lashes. They were very big and dark. She had a beauty spot in her cheeks. It was a beauty spot or a mole he couldn't get it but what he got that that was awfully beautiful. Her every simple things made her look more beautiful. He watched her lips shutting close. he looked there for minutes. He watched her taking breath. Her heaving chest. Her relaxed face. her phone was in her hand. She must feel sleep while she was on her phone. What is this girl. She has the ability to make people go crazy about her. and that too by just being herself. she looked so attractive. Without even doing anything. He was capturing her in his mind. He was storing her in his eyes and mind. Why he didn't know. Half an hour passed but he didn't even notice. His thoughts broke when his phone vibrate in his pocket.

It was his mother's. he again looked at her and said bye with his eyes. He left the room and told the nurse to go inside. He left for his home.

He was already waiting for the next day morning when he would get to talk to her the last time.