Can't let YOU go !!!

CHAPTER 41: THOUGHTS

A wild wind came in the room that made some brushes fall from the dressing table to the floor which grab both their attention as they both came back to present. He looked at her.

"Sayaad tufaan ayegi aaj." He said getting down from the bed. She just hummed. He pick the brush and place it in the drawer. Then he went to the window to close it. He stood there watching outside. Shehnaaz watched him. She still couldn't get why he did all that. This man standing there is still a mystery to her.

She watched him thinking despite all the wrong doing, he kept his promise. In last 2 month of their marriage he gave her everything as a wife. Just they hadn't the best equation. At least for the first month. Now they were co—existing nicely with each other. He didn't touch her despite there was a weird physical tension between them always. Even when she first met him. When they hadn't any relationship. It increased after their marriage. Being so close to each other. There was always a physical tension. They both know it. They also know the other person also know it that they felt it. But they choose to shut that thought.

That morning they kissed each other. That was shocking for both of them. She didn't blame it on him as she also wanted this and it just happened. Maybe out of needs that they hadn't got from a very long time. At least she didn't get it. Suddenly she wonder if He had it after their marriage as they weren't in any kind of commitment to remain like this.

That feeling disgusted her. Thinking someone that close to him, not because she was possessive of him but because she didn't do anything like that after their marriage. So he should do the same. After all they are married. However but married. Officially. Both are in this together, so both should face the same consequences. Why should she have to be the deprived one?

She shrugged her thoughts. She needs a lot of answers. Why! The reason. Suddenly she felt she needed some answers and she deserve to know. As it's her life. Knowing about Rita ji's heart attack raised some question in her mind. There has to be a link to both her health issues and their marriage.

She leaned on her back. Sidharth still stood by the window. Watching the nature. Sometimes so wild and sometimes so calm. Just like human nature. It takes only a minute to get upset, remembering all the wrong things we have done to someone or people done to us. Again some people can brought a smile on our lips by a glimpse of them. It just need to be the right person. Like Shehnaaz. She can brought out a smile out of him without doing anything. Like how he sometimes smile just looking at her getting ready, or when she giggle looking something on her phone, or when she hugs the life out of her bunny pillow. Everything she does is just cute.

He grabbed the grill of the window and leaned his head on that.

He was thinking about Shehnaaz and her cute antiques. His lips had a curve. She is hot. And everything she does and how she speaks is so cute. So basically she has the deadly combination that a girl can have. Hot as hell and cute as fuck. The combination that make guys to get on their knees. She is so perfect he thought.

'You are so close yet so far from me. You are in my room, in my bed but you are not in my fate. You aren't. You shouldn't. You deserve so much better. Better than me. I can't do this what you deserve. You deserve the world. The world that I can't give you. If I try to give you that, I might loose myself. And I can't afford that. I already had gone through this once. A broken man can't give you his full and can't let you break him more. Sometimes it's better that we should draw a line. A line that might hurt us now but saves us in the long run. Maybe that's the line between us.

Like how you are now with me. In my room, in my bed, with the legal relation, as my wife. So close to me but with a line. A line that I will draw always to keep us safe from getting hurt.'

He sighed and went to his side of the bed when he saw her shivering with her eyes close. She slept like that. Without her pink duvet. He looked at her feet where her duvet was. He chuckled. It's so cute. Suddenly he thought about it. He was the one who hated her every colorful thing that she had. Her pink duvet also. His gray shaded room was now colorful. All because of her. Her duvet that he just called 'cute' he hated once. He sighed at his changing feelings. He grabbed it and covered her with that. He also got in the bed again pulled the duvet till her chest. She snuggled to it. He chuckles watching that and laid down to bed facing her. She is beautiful. And she has the purest heart. A heart that loves her Ngo's children selflessly. A heart that made her choose this profession where she might not earn that much comparing to how much she gave it. She saved an unknown little boy and risked her life to do so. It needs a selfless heart to do all of that. He wasn't even blinking looking at her. He stares at his so much sleepy baby every other night. It wasn't new for him. He had a smile on his face thinking about her sleeping habit. She sleeps to deep. Sometimes snores. After a while he also fall into a slumber.

The next morning was normal. Rita ji was talking to both her child.

"Tohh tum dono nehi aa rahe mere sath.?" She asked the last time.

"Ma, mere Ngo roz jana jaroori hain. kuch bacche hain jo bohot attached hain. wohh nehi na reh sakte mere bina 7 din. Kuch to khana vhi nehi khate." Shehnaaz whined.

"I have a surgery Mom, in 3 days. It's a high profile case. I have to do this. I need some preparation also." Sidharth also said. When Rita ji sighed at her busy children.

"thik hain. Nisha bohut bol rahi thi ki Shehnaaz Bhabi ko lana hi hain. parr kya karr sakte hain. main samjha dungi. Mujhe nikal na hain aaj hi. Saare function khatam karne main 7 din lagega. phir sayed aur 2/3 din rahu waha pe." She said.

"Aap 10 din ke liye ja rahe ho? Main kaise rahunga?" Sidharth complained like a kid again.

"Aab mujhe Shehnaaz bete ki problem aur acche se samajh aa gayi. Mera itna bada beta agar ye bol raha hain to uske bacche to phir bhi chote hain." Rita ji said making Shehnaaz laugh loud and Sidharth scrunched his brows.

"Mom!" he said showing irritation about Shehnaaz's laughing.

"Beta, tere Ngo ke baccho ke sath sath mere bacche ka bhi thoda dheyan rakhna kuch din." Rita ji said making Shehnaaz almost fall from the chair in laugh.

"Jaldi aana, jitna jaldi ho sake." was the last thing he said saving himself from both his ladies. They almost ganged up on him. He dropped her at the airport.

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