Can't let YOU go !!!

CHAPTER 77: THEN DON'T

With a lot struggle of speaking he said,

"I won't be able to hold it back if I get to see it... So just don't move..." his voice came so raspy that Shehnaaz wanted to attack him harder this time but his words stopped her...

He won't be able to hold back... Does she want him to hold back??? Hell no... She is at the edge right now and she wants to fly... She doesn't want anything other than him right now... Her heart still beating hard and craving for his lips again...

"Then don't hold back." There he got the answer too... Her lower lip was shaking... He knows what these words mean... She didn't need to say this, her eyes were showing what her heart wants... Shehnaaz looked at him with eyes of desire... For the very first time he saw her like that... If he found her sexy before it was hell sexy now... The same difficulty she felt uttering the words... It wasn't a perfect moment to talk... She still inhaling high to catch her breath... He saw the same fire in her eyes which he felt inside him...

He scrunched his eyes shut... Tightly, painfully... He leaned his head back on the wall... Shehnaaz couldn't get what was wrong... She touched his cheek and he looked at her again...

"You,, this,,, These all are too special for me... I know it's for you too... I don't want it to happen like this... Just out of a heated moment... No... You are too special for that... It can't happen out of nowhere..." he stopped watching Shehnaaz's face fall... Though she knew what he said was right but the frustration she felt was much stronger than this... She felt it shouldn't have happened... She looked other side... He could read her face like it was his own... He knew what she might be feeling as he felt it too... He cupped her face from both his hand never watching below her face for once...

"Baby,,, If you are thinking I don't want it then you must be insane... I know you know it... But whenever that happens, it will be a moment that we will treasure for our life... I want to make it special... For you... For us!!!" yes she knew how much he wants this... His body is also plastered in hers... She felt it... But then she got it... If her husband wants to make it special for them then he should get the chance... If he can hold himself back in a situation like this then she also can wait to see what her man wants to do... Calming a lot she hugged him... Only then her senses started working... She was feeling cold... She shivered...

"Go and have a hot shower... Otherwise you will get a cough..." her Doctor husband came to his senses too... "I will use Mom's washroom..." saying this he moved his face and walked out of the balcony... Shehnaaz looked down at her and saw how her wet dress hugged her and got almost transparent... She squeezed her eyes and blushed hard... That's why he said he won't be able to hold back if he sees it... Blushing, she went to the washroom...

*

It was almost 8... Shehnaaz and Sidharth were at the living room watching TV... Sidharth sat at one edge of the sofa resting his back on it and Shehnaaz lay her head on the other edge's hand rest putting her legs on his lap... He was massaging her toes and twiddling with her toe ring...

He had already gave some medicine to Sana for preventing her from catching cold... He took some too... Rain and specially this kind of rain can cause some problems... He was very protective in nature... Shehnaaz was pissed a little as she didn't catch cold, even she had to take it...

She looked at him when ad started and found he was looking at her... She gave him a smile...

"Sundays never felt this good... You are the reason... I used to get bore on Sundays before you!!!" he said... She smiled... She felt it too... She flipped her position... She came and put her head on his lap,, legs on the other side... He rested his hand on her stomach...

"I also enjoyed the day... Here, the reason is you..." she gave him a smile touching his cheek... He took that hand and kissed it... "Actually, Siraat ke wajese bhi... Baccho ke sath mahool bohot khus khus sa hota hai."

"Right... She is a lovely kid... No wonder, you love her..." he said.

"You also had fun with her... You also had a competition..." She laughed remembering the fight Sidharth and Siraat had over her... Claiming her as only theirs...

"Yeah... Though I would hate competition in this regards but I loved it with her..." he chuckled... "Did you see how she was trying to protect you from my kisses???" He laughed loud remembering how Siraat kept Shehnaaz's face in her little hands hold to save her from Sidharth's kisses...

"She doesn't like when you do that" she laughed along with him...

"But I only like when I get to do that." he smirked at her... "But it's okay... She is a baby and harmless... She considers you motherly... And in my case,, You are my wife... So no complains..." he said stating his logics... That Siraat can't take his position...

"You are so much possessive..." she complained...

"Because you are so much MINE" he emphasizes the last word...

That seemed to stop their conversation for a while...

After sometimes she said...

"I saw you today... How you were with her... You also like kids..." she smiled then remembered something

"Wohhh,, maine subah pucha tha... Aapne bataya nehi... Like I used to think I will have 10 or 12 kids at least... Aapne kabhi bacche nehi chahiye the?" she asked which Sidharth was ignoring from the morning... He wanted to forget it... But situation always lead him to that... Shehnaaz wasn't at fault... She is his wife and she is trying to know his perspective and choices in life... He knows it all... But he thought not to bring all those bad phase in his mind again... He tried hard...

He always was scared of getting his heart go through the same pain... That is the reason, he was scared of Sana hurting him the same way if he let her in his life... The same way he was scared of this too... He doesn't want to go through those things again... He is scared... He took his step forward to Sana. It was a hard decision for him to take... Once you know the taste of hurt, you are scared of it... And this one is scary for him...

"I... Actually,, I don't want,, umm... I'm not sure about kids... I don't even feel easy enough to talk about it..." he looked away... Hoped she won't ask anything else... She has the right though... But he hoped... Shehnaaz frowned and kept quiet...

'What does he actually mean??? He is not sure about kids!!!! Sidharth ko bacche to pasand hai... Siraat aur Ngo ke baccho ke sath dekha maine... Then what's wrong!!! Or is it because I'm asking it out of nowhere... As our relationship haven't reached to that part where we actually need to talk these things... Maybe that is the reason... Maybe he never actually thought about it...'

Despite her mind having many thought going on she chose not to ask anything more... Sidharth was avoiding it... She was confused... But as he said he isn't easy to talk about this, she left it... They will surely talk when the time comes... 

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