A Girl Like You, and Short Dick Man

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"So, you're saying, that you and Chaz Wazza banged... Again? And that's right after you left my apartment?" Kurt turns his head sideways and raises his eyebrows at me, totally judging me right now for being such a slut.

We're hanging out at Tompkins Square Park, just a few minutes walk from our apartment building. It's such a fine Sunday morning. We're lying on the lush green grass, both of us just dressed down in shorts, and our shirt buttons undone all the way down. I never really cared for sun bathing, but Kurt told me I look as pasty white as Pee-wee Herman, and just looking at me was literally blinding him. So here I am, lying down in my strapless demi bra and super skimpy denim shorts in a public park.

"Chaz-what-a?" I raise my hands to shade my eyes, squinting as even the gentle rays of the spring sun still managed to hurt my peepers. "What the fuck is that?"

"Duh, it's Chaz Wazza. Like, a horny toad. It was coined from The Simpsons." His scathing reply, widening his hazel eyes at me. I am a really cool and smart bitch, but somehow this little emo cunt always manages to make me look and feel stupid. He darn knows a lot of random things. "Anyway, so, Levi-"

"Right. Levi." I scoff and do a snapping eye-roll. "Levi is definitely horny, but he's not a toad. Hell, he's really cute! And his abs and penis is life! He's a really good kisser, too." I gush, and I lie myself back comfortably on the grass. "One pair of candy lips and, your bubble gum tongue." I start to sing the lyrics to Your Body Is A Wonderland, thinking of Levi's bubble gum tongue on my pink jelly bean.

"Okay, Charlie. You and your vagina just needs to..." He claps his palms together tight, and grimaces at me. "...Shut it. You know? And I know you're totally thinking of Levi's middle leg right now."

I laugh at Kurt and hit his bony chest with the back of my hand. "I'm trying not to think about him. I really am!"

"Bitch, try harder!" Kurt lay sideways, getting up on one elbow and resting his temple against his knuckles. "You told me, you want to forget about him, and you wanted to shut your feelings. Charlie, I mean, you can't even shut your pussy for this guy! When he comes around you're just, 'Oh, Levi, gimme the dick, I'll ride it, I won't break it! Oh! Yeah, oh, yes!'" He moans, writhes, and rubs his nipples with his index fingers as he lay himself back on the grass. 

People started to give us annoyed and weirded out stares, and I just flicked them the finger. That's right, mind your own fucking sex lives!

"Well, we didn't have sex yesterday when he took me back home! I managed to close my legs and let my mind take over. Come on, you gotta give me some credit for that!" I yammer at Kurt, plugging in an earphone as Lovefool by The Cardigans played on my phone. "And I totally don't sound like that!"

"Girl, I literally live one floor above you. I heard you two humping like mad gorillas all Friday night through Saturday morning." he scowled at me, and grabbed the other earphone and plugged it onto his right ear. "What is this shit you're listening to?"

"It's Lovefool by The Cardigans, dumbass! Romeo and Juliet?"

"Yeah, I know that. Love me, love me, say that you love me. Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me. Pretend that you love me. Leave me, just say that you need me?" He muttered the lyrics of the song. "What, you're wearing your heart on your sleeve? Couldn't you be more obvious about your feelings?" He grabs for my phone and scrolled through the songs, then played a song I'm not familiar. It sounded like a B-side track of an unreleased The Doors album.

"You're one pedantic bitch," I murmur to Kurt, closing my eyes. Ah, there's something fun about the sun after all. This, a really cool friend beside me, the crisp spring breeze, and a wicked awesome tune filling my ear - everything seems to be perfect even just for a second. Maybe I just really need a good distraction to avert my attention away from Levi. "That song you're playing is really badass. Is that on my playlist?"

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