EXES AND OH'S

Baby One More Time

Kurt kinda freaked out a little when I told him everything that happened last night. But, like he always tells me, he knew it was bound to happen. Just Kurt being his usual smart-ass, smug, clairvoyant self. He should really make a professional career out of this.

Kurt says Levi and I are like Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy — whose relationship is established along the initial coldness, then the mutual attraction, then a large-misunderstanding-that-leads-to-more-coldness, and eventually, the happily-ever-after-union. 

Not sure about the happily-ever-after though. We're just at happy right now. And I want to stay that way for a little while, even just for a few days... until Levi flies back to New York.

We both have a lot to talk about, and I don't know where to start. Hell, I don't even know when we're gonna talk about us. And what are we now exactly? We're still nothing. Just because we're saying 'I love you' to each other now does that mean we're already in a relationship? 

I mean, nothing will change. I'm gonna stay here in LA for work, and Levi's going back to New York. Surely he isn't expecting me to do long distance shit and wait for him another three months — 'cause that definitely won't fucking work. And what the hell do I do with Günter now? Do I break up with him?

Fuck. Here goes another complication. I am now officially a lying, cheating ho. I was once the person who got cheated on, and now the wheel has turned. Yeah, I'm really going straight to hell now. 

See, I didn't think this through. It's like this every single time I let my vagina and my heart decide, everything falls apart and disaster happens.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Holy shit, I'm losing my mind again. Charlie, just... chill the fuck out and try to be in the moment! Go to your happy place — Levi.

I shake my head and shut off all unwanted thoughts in my head. My mind is killing me — I must confess I still believe. When I'm not with you I lose my mind. Give me a sign...

Wait, what the fuck?! 

Dammit! This is all Kurt's doing! He's loudly playing that senseless Britney Spears song on eternal loop right now through the bluetooth speakers in my bedroom and I'm caught with the jam. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

"Oh baby, baby. How was I supposed to know?" Kurt sings off-key, even imitating Brit's nasal, constipated voice. Jeezus, he's totally out-gayed himself now. 

It all started with that Backstreet Boys song 'I Want It That Way'. I swear, that was the gateway drug. And after that he listened to more 90's pop hits, playlists, the whole fucking nine yards. So now he's this — a teeny-bopper trapped in a scrawny twenty-eight year old dude's body. 

I snicker to myself, pulling out distressed jeans and a black tank top from the rack. So help me God, this is just so fucking drab. 

Levi called me earlier and told me to just dress up LA casual. And wow, that's really helpful. Like, I have an idea how to put on that kind of outfit? Ugh. Levi's the worst.

It's already summer. And I noticed, girls my age out here in Cali are basically wearing next to nothing — and it doesn't look slutty at all. Only native Angelenos can wear super slinky outfits out on the street and not be mistaken as prostitutes. They carry the sexy look so well. 

Well, I think it's just the norm here in LA, going out in the summer strutting their hot bodies by the sidewalk just wearing crop tops, bikini tops, and super short shorts. Low-key naked is the dress code and major vibe all year round. And I'm not really an insecure and jealous person, but damn, California girls are gorgeous. Heck, I think that's pretty obvious. I mean, there's like a million and one songs written about them. New York chicks? Not so much. 'Cause most of us are pasty, snotty, conceited, stuck-up bitches.