EXES AND OH'S

Helter-Skelter

"Ooh, what is this?" I ask Kurt cheerfully, eyeing the paper bag he just handed over to me. I inspect it and read the writing on the bag: 'You're a slut', and then a huge smiley face. I glare at him and scoff. "You're a slut? What the hell?"

He rolls his eyes and glowers. Kurt snatches the bag from my hand and looks at me, obviously a little pissed, then points his index finger on the writing. "Babe, it clearly says, 'You're a star'. Seriously Charlie, how can you not read that?"

I furrow my brows and look at the paper bag again. You're a s— star. Oh, yeah. Alright. I misread it. Christ, Kurt's handwriting is worse than a doctor's. "Well, I'm sorry. It's totally not my fault that you write like a goddamned chicken!" I guffaw, grabbing the paper bag from him. "Lemme have that back." I open it and look what's inside; two plastic containers with food. 

Aww. Did Kurt just pack my lunch for today? He really is super sweet. I look up at him and pout through my shy smile. "Aren't you the absolute best?" I coo, throwing my hands to my sides and walk to the other side of the kitchen counter to give Kurt a hug. He's wearing a white apron with Lionel Ritchie's face in the middle and it says, 'HELLO Is it me you're cooking for?' I try to stop from grinning by biting my bottom lip.

Kurt shakes his head in annoyance but then gives me back a smile. "You're welcome, boo. That's chicken salad and tuna sandwich for lunch, by the way. I just wanted to make sure you'll get to eat something in case the mean girls at work won't let you sit with them during lunch." He quips, pulling away to get plates from the cupboard. "And always remember, you're a star! But if you want to be a slut — like what your subconscious tells you, I suppose that's totally fine, too."

I giggle and grab oversized mugs and pour coffee for me and Kurt. "Thanks for the pep talk, mom. I'll do good on my first day of school and I'll make sure I don't eat my lunch inside the restroom cubicle."

"You're such a smart-ass." He yammers, then gives me a once-over and scowls again as he eyes my whole outfit. "Okay, please tell me you're not wearing that thing to work. That drab, paper bag brown blazer makes me want to think you're trying to lure someone into some pyramid scam."

I snicker and place our coffee on top of the counter, looking at my outfit: blazer, denim square jeans, a fitted white shirt, nude strappy heels. I think I look okay. I glance up at Kurt and stick up my nose, resting my hands on the sides of my waist as if striking a pose. "I'm trying to look like a boss. But like, a really cool, hip and chill boss. Besides, it's the most decent thing I have in my wardrobe right now. The moving containers will get here after three weeks and I accidentally left my usual black outfits there. So, this will do."

Kurt scoffs and grimaces. "Yeah, for sure, why not? You want to look like a boss of a sketchy start-up company, or the assistant of the damned Prince of Nigeria, I think you totally look the part." He bobbles his head and turns his back to check the bacon he's frying. 

I watch Kurt as he prepares our food, removing the crispy bacon strips from the pan and draining the excess oil with paper towels before putting them on the plates, right beside the scrambled eggs. Then he walks to the far end of the counter, and lifts the handle of the fancy looking black griddle. Smoke rises up from the machine and the whole kitchen was instantly filled with a yummy aroma: bananas, sweet cream, hazelnut spread, and fresh butter on toast. Kurt pulls out two panini sandwiches from the press and places one on each plate. Darn it, I've already brushed my teeth, but the breakfast he put together looks and smells so divine. 

And really, what time did he wake up to shop and cook everything? Of course, there's a 24-hour market on the corner block. Kurt's still probably not used to the LA time zone. Heck, me too. I was having trouble sleeping last night. Every time I closed my eyes, I was seeing Levi, I was hearing his voice, I can feel his lips and tongue on mine. I just couldn't get him out of my fucking system. I was actually only able to catch some sleep after I fucked myself, thinking about him.