EXES AND OH'S

Three Words, Eight Letters.

The cool breeze from the Pacific Ocean softly touches my skin, and I shudder not just with the cold, but because of all the bundle of nerves taking over my whole body. I take a huge sip of my beer, probably my eighth or ninth bottle already. Surprisingly, I'm not feeling drunk yet. Must be all the adrenaline in my blood. 

I can't seem to calm my heart the entire night — I can hear its every weighted beat through my ears. And prior to all the beer I consumed I was already feeling so nauseous, like I'm about to pass out. So here I am, standing barefoot on the beach staring out into the darkest blue sky that was only lit by the moon, the stars, and also by a few rusty post lamps lined further up the dry shore.

Jesse insisted that I come hang out with them at Levi's dad's fancy beach-front house by Piedra Gorda Canyon. Funny, I pass by this property every time I go to Günter's place, which is just a little up north. 

I always looked at this particular house — not having any idea that was Levi's dad's. It's just so pretty with all the bright magenta bougainvillea flowers creeping up and hovering over the dark mahogany gates. It has a really old beach-house charm from the outside, off-white concrete walls with wood panel details and accents. It's not as grand and as modern as Günter's, but this house... it feels like the perfect homey place to retreat after a long, tiring day, just stand by the balcony and watch the sun go down on the sea with your special someone. 

Well, that would definitely be Levi and his blonde, bimbo California bride in the distant, or, I don't know... near future. I sigh at the thought.

Jesse, K, and Isaac were chatting me up all night, probably sensing the tension between me and Levi. Stupid Jesse. He knows it's gonna be so fucking awkward but he still fucking asked for me come here and do hang out with his pals.

Levi hasn't even said a word to me all night. Hell, he didn't even reply to the voice message I sent him. He didn't call, he didn't text, he didn't email. Why am I even wondering now why he wouldn't speak to me? It makes me so fucking mad, even though I know I shouldn't be. It's not like Levi owes me an explanation.

"Hey."

I hear someone softly call from behind me, and I know that voice. I know it all too well. I turn around and see Levi walking towards me on the beach, his hands inside his jeans' front pockets. See, he always does this. He appears like a fucking ghost whenever I think so hard about him.

"Hey." I greet Levi back stoically, looking down on my bare feet, my toes partially sunk into the cold white sand. 

Levi stands right beside me, and I hear him take a deep breath. He's so close, that I can smell his Tom Ford perfume, I can hear his erratic breathing, I can feel some heat radiating off from his body. And just like that, my heart starts hammering wildly in my chest again.

"What's up?" I ask him softly after I finish my beer, not making eye contact. I decide to just be the one to first speak up. We really don't have to act all awkward in the first place. We have to get through that point at some time, and it can be now.

"Nothing, I just—" He trails off, and from my peripheral vision I can see that he's doing that cute nervous eyebrow scratch again. "Jesse actually asked me to come here and check if you haven't drowned yourself in the Pacific Ocean yet." He kids, and I snort a little.

"You came just right on time." I murmur, crossing my arms above my chest and smiling a little. 

"Did I?" Levi asks, picking up a round, black pebble from the sand and throwing it out into the rolling wave.