EXES AND OH'S

The Morning After

The blinding morning light hit my eyelids and I groan, feeling a sharp and cold dagger cracking my skull open and piercing through my brain.

Fuck the sunshine. 

I swear, I'm a vampire in my previous life. I probably died when I went out in the sun giving head to a cute and ripped beach lifeguard's boomerang dick somewhere in the sunny Amalfi Coast. I know that, I've dreamt of it, so it's a hundred percent true. That's definitely my previous self telling me to stay away from the sun, the shore, and from hot Italian lifeguards. But dying and turning to dust while I had a cock in my mouth surely seems like a good way to go. 

I let out an internal sigh. Thank God my Italian grandparents immigrated to America.

"Fuck," I grunt, rubbing and squinting my eyes open. I feel so fucking sore, not to mention currently suffering from a deadly hangover. What time is it already? Crap, I have to get up and fix all my shit for my flight back to New York this afternoon. Sundays are supposed to be fun and real chill - half of the day is to be spent lying down in bed masturbating, while the other half is for whatever one fancies. And totally not like this, with a throbbing headache and feeling raw all over.

I try to get up, and the pristine white comforter fell on my lap. I stare down at my chest and my eyes widen. I lift it up and check myself out from the waist down. I'm buck naked. I don't sleep naked in hotels. 

Unless...

Having no recollection of what happened last night, I close my eyes again and bury my face in my hands, trying to recall every stupid fucking thing I did at Jesse and Kristen's wedding.

Okay, so I planned on getting crazy drunk. I think I accomplished that. Here I am completely unaware of my what-and-whereabouts. Plan A was to look for someone to have sex with. Plan B was to fuck myself to oblivion until dawn with Daggins. I never feel this sore after masturbating with my dildo. Surely I was successful with Plan A.

Tequila, bourbon, a few cocktails and washed it all up with a couple of bottles of beer. That's the part that I perfectly recall. Though I remember some drunk, horny dancing afterwards, and then Jesse told me I was touching myself. Did that happen or did I just dream it? Holy shit. 

What's next?

I kind of remember someone walking me back to my hotel room. Someone with strong arms, a foul mouth, and a really huge and thick penis. That shit's probably real. The question is who? Goddammit. 

Giving up on trying to remember what and who I did, I open my eyes and decide to look at the space beside me. Someone's in bed with me, inside my damned hotel room. The fucker's still fast asleep, lightly snoring and completely covered in fluffy white blanket.

I lightly pull on the fabric to unveil who this sleeping prick is. Well, he didn't bounce on me in the middle of the night, did he? Must be some real fine gentleman who never does the early morning walk-of-shame.

I gasp as I see a head of thick, curly mane from underneath the sheets. His pupils wildly moved underneath his eyelids, his long and dark lashes fluttering as he stirred awake. Bright green eyes greet my dark browns.

Oh.

Levi flashes a dirty smile at me, covering his mouth again with the blanket. "Hey." He mumbles, his voice low and sexy and raspy.

"What the fuck are you doing here in my room!?" I ask, my eyes wide as my subconscious fell into a horrified state.

With furrowed brows and a confused look on his face, Levi sat up and grabbed the tall glass of water from the bedside table. The blanket fell on his waist, revealing his six-packs and half his ass cheek as he turned to his side to drink water. Well, I didn't know lanky dudes can also have those kinds of abs. I imagine running my tongue on Levi's lean and sculpted torso.