Bi-stressed

CHAPTER 77

                  I tell him everything.

Things that I never told anyone.

I tell him how my childhood has been haunting me a lot lately.

I tell him about dad and mom. And about her husband.

I tell him about Zac. I didn't want to but I do anyways. Leaving the fact that he left with Gwyneth because he was present there when they left together.

I tell him about Elaine's betrayal. About how my friendship with Kim isn't the same anymore, about how my friends group in school tore apart.

And finally about Luna. I thought he would be disgusted by each word of mine about her, about us, but he didn't show a signal sign of judgement or hate.

The last but not the least.

The hallucinations I've been experiencing.

"Come here." He finally speaks after hearing me out. I hesitate slightly but then I do as he says and drop my head into his chest. He hugs me tight but I don't hug him back. My hands are on my chest as I struggle for breath.

"I won't tell you to stop crying because that's not what you're supposed to do. Cry it all out, I'd hold you this way for another whole day or even a whole week till you're done. But cry it all out once in for all. So when you cry again, they shouldn't be the reason." He says, caressing my cheek.

A few silent minutes pass by until I wipe away my tears. I can't believe I'm breaking infront of Hardin out of all the people. The person who caused my first heart ache. I don't stop myself. I tell him.

I tell him how his acts hurt me and that he was the first person who made me cry. He doesn't apologize. He says that a sorry will not fill up the tears I've wasted over him. He says he'll make it up to me but he doesn't know how to. He says he'll think about it. He says he's changed. Something in my heart says he changed for me. The time and energy he gives me, tell me I'm important to him. It feels good finally to be having someone like that. It feels bad to have him as that someone. It should be Zac. It shouldn't be him or Luna. I want to feel this way with Zac. Not with people other than him.

He's with Gwyneth. He left me at the farmhouse and went home with her. I need to move on. I've lost him. I've lost my dad, my mom, my house. I can't afford to lose myself. I have to hold on to myself. I need me. Not anyone else. I need myself. I am enough.

"Lex?" He says softly. Lex. The way he says my name. I don't answer, instead look up to his face. His eyes look straight into mine. His eyes try telling me something his mouth is hesitating to.

"You need to eat something." He says.

I don't say no, I don't fight him. I let him embrace me. I let him caress my cheek. I let him massage my head. I let him do everything he wants to.

"Hardin, I-"

"Ssh." He presses his index finger to my lips.

"Let's get you something to eat, yeah?"

I nod and follow him to his kitchen. I take a seat on the dinning table and watch him light the stove.

"I'm making you a healthy breakfast. High in protein and good carbs, don't worry." He attempts to crack a joke. I smile just for the sake of him trying.

"You don't need to smile if you don't want to. It's okay." He says walking towards the refrigerator. He takes out two eggs and walks back to the stove.

"Thank you for the healthy breakfast." I say, while picking up my plate and walking over to the sink. "You don't have to, Lex. I'll do it." He says, stopping me from washing my own plate.

"Earlier, you said to make myself at home so yeah that's what I'm doing." I smile and walk back to the table, grabbing his plate. He bickers about it but I do it anyways.

"You could be a real good chef as well!" I tell him while drying my wet hands on the towel.

"My brother is interested in culinary arts. Wouldn't want to steal his dream."

"Your brother?" I ask, bewildered. Hardin doesn't have a brother.

"Uh- yeah. My umm, reallyy good friend. I call him my brother."

"Oh."

After having a short random conversation, I thank him for everything.

"Thank you for bringing me home, well to your house."

"As I said earlier, make yourself at home so go ahead and call it your home." He gives me a genuine smile which I return back.

I continue, "Thank you a million times for listening to me. It meant a lot to me, Hardin." I hesitate to hug him but then do it anyway.

"You mean a lot to,"

"Alexia? Is that you?" Hardin's dad, Mr. Baldwin calls out from the back. I immediately pull away from our embracement and Hardin steps aside so I may be clearly visible to his father.

"Dad? Umm, morning."

"Good morning, son! He smirks at him and pats his back, then eyes me.

"Oh look at you! You're grown into such a beautiful young lady now." He smiles and walks towards me, greeting me in the hallway.

"Hello Mr. Baldwin. Nice to see you after such a long time."

"Nice to see you here, my girl." He looks towards Hardin, grinning and winks at him.

Wait, does he think something between us. No.

"I'll leave you two alone now, enjoy." He pats Hardin's back again and walks out of the house, probably leaving for work.

"It's past 9. I need to leave now." I tell Hardin. I don't want to leave from here. It feels like home.

"You could spend the rest of the day and go by evening,"

"No Hardin. I need to go as much as I don't want to. Thanks a lot for everything," I haven't finished speaking when we hear someone pounding at the front door.

"Who could that be and at this time?" He furrows his forehead and walks towards the door. As soon as he unlocks the door, the door is pushed with such great force that it hits Hardin, making him stumble on the floor.

"Zac?!"

"What the hell are you doing here!?" He yells.

"None of your fucking business." I say and walk towards Hardin, asking him if he's okay. I help him up until he steadies himself.

"I guess as much you'll have fucked already?"

His question makes me slap him, slap him hard. How could he think of me like that. He's the one who left with Gwyneth.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LEFT WITH GWYNETH, DESERTING ME!"

"Gwyneth!? She wasn't even there, Lexi."

"IT WAS HIM WHO SAVED ME FROM TRAVIS, IT WAS HIM WHO BROUGHT ME HOME AFTER I FAINTED, IT WAS HIM WHO GAVE ME A PLACE TO STAY AFTER MY MOM THREW ME OUT OF THE HOUSE AT AN EARLY PART OF THE MORNING, IT WAS HIM WHO,"

"THAT'S BECAUSE HE FUCKING,"

"HE FUCKING WHAT ZAC? JUST BECAUSE YOU YOU HAVE NO OTHER ANSWER YOU START SPEAKING SHIT ABOUT OTHERS WHEN ALL HE DID WAS BE NICE TO ME. AND NO! HE DID NOT FUCK ME! YOU SICK BASTARD CAN GO BACK TO WHEREVER YOU CAME FROM AND CONTINUE-"

My head suddenly throbs.

I'm spinning.

My vision is blurring.

Blackout.