Bi-stressed

CHAPTER 26

I'm breaking up with you.

He's breaking up with me?

I can feel a lump in my throat.

I'm traumatized.

I nearly loose balance and fall when he catches my arm and makes me steady.

"Please listen to me." I cry.

"What?" His voice is loud but I can see his heart shattered.

"I'm sorry. I lied to you and broke your trust. We spoke that night. I deleted our conversation before u could reach home and spoke to her through a fake account. She messaged me first and I couldn't stop myself from replying. You know how close we were and it's hard for me to accept the fact that our friendship is no longer." I pause for a while and let out the rest.

"I'm sorry but I don't know what made me say I love her too."

"You love her? In what way?"

"I don't know. I'm confused."

"You need to decide right now who you want to be with!"

"You. I want to spend my entire life with you but when she's around, she makes me happy and I-"

"Luna or me?"

"I can't keep hiding this from you. You weren't my first kiss."

"Who was it then?"

"Luna."

"Luna?"

"But it didn't mean anything to me. It was just a dare. I didn't know that kiss would make her develop feelings for me. It was just..."

"Luna or me?" His eyes are filled with tears but not a drop falls out.

Luna or Zac? I ask myself.

Both.

I want both.

I can't let any of them leave. I can't break their hearts again. Again.

Where am I stuck? There's no other option left.

Luna or Zac.

I feel my world fallen apart. I never thought I would come to a stage where I had to choose between my best friend and a guy who I planned my entire future with.

Luna and Zac both know so much about me. I can't bear with the fact that I have to choose between the two.

Luna and me will never be able to be together. My family will be so disappointed with me and I can't date her. I mean even if I want to right now. I don't even know if I'm actually a bisexual or it's just our friendship which makes me want her. There were just a few times when I wanted her more than a best friend before I started dating Zac. I had this thing of dating a girl. I wanted to experience something new but I wasn't into every girl. It was just her.

Until I fell in love with Zac. We've shared almost a year together and he knows so much about me to leave me. Zac and me have planned out our entire future, after graduation, moving out, settling in together and everything. I've never thought of a future with Luna.

She'll eventually go her own way. Start her own life, get busy with her job and all. Halsey's words come up in my mind.
Friends won't be with you forever. They'll eventually get married, settle down and start their own life.

Maybe it's just affection.

This seems so easy but my feelings for both make it hard.

Debating with heart and mind. I finally come to a decision.

"You."

"What me?"

"I want you. I've planned our entire future and it's hard to give up on you. Luna and me are best friends and we're attached. It'll take some time, years for our feelings to fade away."

"See I won't mind if you choose her. If she's what you want, I'll leave."

"How can you leave a person who you've planned to marry, settle together and have children. I know thinking about children at this age seems weird but we have planned to have in the future." I pause, then taking a deep breath.

"It's hard." I sigh.

"Very."

"I'm sorry for all of it and I don't expect you to say it's okay because I know it's not. I love you."

"I love you."