Bi-stressed

CHAPTER 37

"All I see is black." I tell her.

"Jokes aside please." she scolds.

I close my eyes and as soon as I do, I see her emerald green eyes staring into his chestnut brown eyes and the very next second I see their lips touching each others. The fuck.

"It's okay if you saw him."

"I saw both of you'll."

"It can't be Lexi. It has to be only one."

She stares straight into my eyes, without realizing, she looks down at my swollen lips, then runs her tongue over hers. In fact from the very start of our conversation, she's been licking her lips and pressing them inwards. Stop it.

"We can't. You know I can't."

She smiles, knowing what I'm talking about. That knowingly smile.

"Please speak to me so I can help you."

"I'm stuck between you and him. When I'm with him I only want him but when you're near me you make me want you. I don't understand. It's so confusing."

"You're so complicated but-" she stops.

"I know, I am, very. Very complicated. The only way I could stop wanting you is being away from you. We've tried being distant too but seeing you dancing about in front of me each day in school makes me want to be near you."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you feel this way."

"If you could only tell me you have no feelings for me anymore, I might feel better."

"You know I can't say that. I'm sorry but j just can't."

"I understand, it's hard."

"It's very difficult Lexi." For the first time since now, she's stop staring at me. She's looking down and I see her tears fall. She wipes it immediately, then I take her chin in my hand and push it up forcing her to look at me. When she looks up her emerald green eyes are filled with tears and they fall down her cheeks.

"I know but-  Stop crying please."

I wrap my arms round her, patting her back.

"Stop crying please."

"I'll try not to show my feelings towards you but can I have my best friend back at least." She sobs.
What am I supposed to do? Give into her even though I have this strong feeling it's not going to last long. She needs her best friend back and I think I should give her a chance. Knowing she has feelings for me is just going to make it awkward but I'll go with it for her, just for her happiness. Just to see if it works out and we could go back to normal. It'll never be the same though.

"Yes." I finally give in to her.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Also, tell me why do you find all your friends fake?"

"Because they are. It's hard to trust any of them now."

"Lexi, everyone isn't fake as you think. There are some who really care so stop shutting out and start trusting. You know Kim always had-has your back. Don't make her feel replaced."

"I haven't replaced her. She must be thinking like that, but honestly I haven't."

"Assure her that you haven't."

"Thanks for that speech of yours in the group, about making conversations with each other and not letting anyone feel uncomfortable."

"You know, I can feel you. I could see you remained quiet all morning and felt uncomfortable."

We both get up to hug each other. After hesitating for a few seconds she pulls me closer and throws her arms round me.

"I've missed this." I cry.

"Same."

"Seems like ages since we last hugged each other."

"It was just a month ago when we met in the washroom." She giggles.

I still remember how every morning when she arrived at school, she used to come running to hug me and our hug was like 10 minutes long. But after she told me about her feelings, things became awkward and she stopped me from hugging her anymore. If only those lovely days could come back. No awkwardness, no hesitations.

After hugging each other, she grabs hold of my hand and we rush down towards the group.

"I can't wait to tell Kim, Meli, Ruby, Laura, Billie that I've got my best friend back!" she screams.

I stop and bend down to tie my laces when I find her already tying it.

"This is what I've longed to do." She looks up at me and her lips quirk upwards in a joyous smile.