Bi-stressed

CHAPTER 20

The rest of the day at school is pretty boring. I felt quite awkward after our meet-up and after Zoe caught us coming out of the washroom together. Everyone knows we don't hang out anymore and I had a strong feeling someone will end up seeing us together...

I reach home and take a quick shower. It's noon so the water is not that cold but I don't want to get sick before Christmas either.

After taking a real quick shower, my mom calls.

"Hi baby. How are you?"

"Good afternoon mummy. I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm okay. How was your day at school?"

"It was, uh. It was okay." It was awkward and I feel weird.

..

After my mom hangs up I head to Aunt Steph's house.

"Sister called us so we'll be leaving in another 15 minutes" Aunt Steph tells me.

Oh I forgot I had to go to Angel Gaurdian Home for the Christmas play.

"Okay. I'm ready."

When we reach there, we are given a warm welcome. The children are very pleased to see us, especially Susi. She comes running towards me and gives me a tight hug and runs about making me frolic.

"Leave her here and come to pick her up by 9." Sister tells my Aunt.

"Why so late Sister?"

"We'll have practice now and the play will start by 7 and after the show dinner will be served."

"Oh okay."

No no please don't leave me. I know no one here except for Susi. The other children are all new. I don't mind making friends with them but I just don't want to be here alone. Also the children will be busy in the play and I'm going to get so bored.

"Don't leave please." I tell Halsey in a low voice.

"It's just few hours. We'll come before 9."

"Can I have my phone please?"

Halsey digs in her bag for my phone when she is interrupted.

"No she doesn't need the phone." Sister tells Halsey.

I do. I certainly do. I'll die without my phone. They can't be doing this to me.

"She'll be busy with the children, making new friends so she certainly doesn't need her phone."

Ugh no. I can't stay without my phone. Tears nearly fill my eyes.

"Make new friends and talk to the children. They need your time and love."

After they leave I find myself sitting all alone thinking about Luna. I steer clear my thoughts and go indoors.

"Hi baby."

I try making a conversation with the small girl but is so shy and hardly speaks. In 5 minutes I've made two friends. The two are capering around the room making me rollick.

We did no practice and I'm given a gown to wear.

I remove my hoodie and stare at my half naked torso in the mirror focussing on every part of my body. I'm such a petite. My hair is tied in a loose ponytail, it looks longer since it's straightened and almost reach my lower back. My figure is slim with slight curves. Because of being thin my collarbones are very visible and look seductive. In the mirror I notice how slender my neck is and that my jawline is so well defined. My swollen lips are a rosy colour and I can't take believe my lips made me sin today. I stare right into my Disney princess eyes. That's what Luna calls my eyes.

I feel so different. I'm not the same Lexi. I've changed. I've let myself get hurt and both of them as well. I'm breaking Zac's trust and not being loyal right now. I've kissed a girl while dating Zac. This feels so wrong. I feel so pathetic...

A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts and I give a last glance at my body before putting the gown over my head. This is so fucking tight. I manage to put it over my head and fit my body into it. It's so tight from the top. My chest is squashed in and my arms have not enough room to fit in. It's extremely tight but it'll go for a day and tomorrow as well.

The make up artist then does my make up and hair. I could do much better make up than her I pout while looking at my face in the mirror. I roll my eyes at her while rubbing the extra pink from my cheeks and add a little highlighter so my cheek bones shine in the dark.

I meet Lillian who was my senior in school. She gives a warm smile and I notice she's the other angel with me.
Who said I was an angel?  I m thou for now at least. The Nikita girl with her is acting as Mary but she is not a bit like Mary. Her attitude is driving me crazy and I will slap her any minute because she's overacting, making me feel obnoxious and intolerable.

"Annoying ass." I mummer to myself.