Bi-stressed

CHAPTER 19

*"I love you, you know I do even after whatever happened."*

Tears fill my eyes as I send the reply. I wasn't supposed to say this. This can't be happening again.

*"You do?"*

*"Yes. You know I can't stay without you."*

*"You can."*

*"I can't. I tried to kill myself because I couldn't accept the fact that we ended our friendship."*

*"You what???"*

*"Nothing."*

*"Your telling me now."*

*"It's nothing."*

*"You tried to kill yourself?"*

*"Yes. I drank poison."*

*"I'm sorry. It's all because of me."*

*"A conduit was put into my nostrils and down through my oesophagus. Three big needles were poked in me and"*

*"Don't. Stop. I can't hear it anymore. I'm really very sorry."*

*"Can we talk on Whatsapp?"*

*"No, it's my mom's number."*

*"Oh, then can we talk from another account on instagram."*

*"Okay."*

*"Zac's not supposed to know we're talking. I'll make an account by name of Mila."*

*"Okay, mine will be Lolo."*

I delete the chat before Zac reaches home. I don't feel right hiding and talking to her but I can't tell Zac right now. He's going to be mad at me.

After making the account, I search her name, fake name.

*"Hi."* I message.

*"Hi."*

"*To be honest, I love you. I'm still confused in which way but yesterday made me feel different about you."*

*"You do?"*

*"Yes."*

*"You know very well, we are not meant to be."*

*"I know but nothing can change the way we feel about each other."*

*"Can we meet tomorrow in school?"*

*"I don't want our friendship public."*

*"Okay, Just between the two of us. By the way are you going to tell Zac about this?"*

*"Um, yeah. I will but not right now."*

*"Okay, so tomorrow in the second period?"*

*"In the washroom."*

*"Okay."*

*"Tomorrow I have a play at Providence Home. Can you come?"*

*"Uh, no but I can try."*

*"It's okay if you can't. I understand."*

*"Good night, sleep tight. "*

*"Don't let the bugs bite."*

*"And if they bite?"*

*"I'll bite them back."*

*"Love you.*"

..

Zac's messages start appearing in my notifications.

*"Hey."*

*"You spoke to Luna?"*

*"No."* I lie.

*"Your account was logged in so I was getting notifications of her messages but when I went to open the chat, nothing was there. Did you delete it?"*

*"No we didn't speak. She messaged me saying she wanted to talk but I blocked her."* I lie but I actually did block her after deleting the chat.

*"Don't lie."*

*"I'm not."* I lie again. I feel pathetic doing this to him but I'll soon tell him, not just now. I'll find the right time to explain everything to him.

*"I trust you."*

I'm breaking his trust for the first time. This is not going to end well. I'm so fucked up right now. I'm stuck between the two and I have no idea, literally no idea what the fuck I'm doing or going to do.

...

As I enter inside school, it's quite. Not a soul around. I'm always the first to arrive anyways.

As I walk past, the chilly winds blow making the tiny hair on my arms stand a bit. It's December already, but this year is not that cold. I should be thankful since I don't have to shower with ice water.

I go straight up to the Chapel.

As I kneel there praying, I can sense Luna kneeling besides me. I can feel her heart pounding and hear her panting. I choose to keep my eyes shut.

After a few moments, I open my eyes and look to the side. Her eyes are shut and at that instant she opens them and gives me a soft smile. I return a smile back and continue praying. After I finish, I open my eyes again to see, she's not there. Where is she disappeared?

I go down and there she is sitting at our spot. We're sitting at the opposite ends of the platform so it isn't obvious we're back together.

She's so happy, I can make out. There's a charm in her voice, her eyes are shining and her cheeks are rosy. She broadens her smile and a large dimple appears at the corner of her mouth as she catches me staring at her.

I look away not making it noticeable...

The first period has almost come to and end and I wait for the bell to ring. The second period has started but there's no sign of her. I'm glad I'm seated near the window so I can see when she heads towards the washroom. I don't need to listen to Miss Anne's explanation since I've read the reproduction chapter a hundred times and I understand it very well.

The second period is coming to an end and I finally see her come out of class. As she passes, she looks directly into my eye making me nervous.

"I'm going to talk to Luna." I tell Tessa.

I'm extremely pissed that Lyra and Celine planned to take off today without telling me.

"So go."

"I'm scared."

"Oh come on. Just go."

"My heart is racing."

After she helps me build up my confidence to face Luna. I take up my courage and head towards the washroom.

"I missed you so much." I throw my arms around her.

"Same." I find the two of us sobbing into each others shoulder.

...

"I can't be doing this. I'm dating Zac."

"Please." she pleads.