Bi-stressed

CHAPTER 14

We're walking on the artificial seashore.
"Somebody once told me, it's who you think about when you're in front of the ocean, that's who you're in love with."

Luna? She's the one coming up in my mind continuously while I'm staring at the waves hitting my feet. I'm so confused. If it's her that I love, I need to tell Zac. It's not fair to him. But I love him too and Luna is not making this any easy. He loves me so much and I can't afford to break his heart.

I do want her. I love her I don't know in which way but I know I love her.
This is confusing whether I love her or him.

We were best friends since class 2. In between we weren't but then we started off new in class 6. From then till class 8 we were doing great and became so close as the years passed until I started dating Zac after crushing on Hardin for a long time.

Hardin:
Hardin was my crush. I crushed on him for an interminable time. I was crushing on him before I dated Justin and after Justin.

Justin and me broke up because of the "thing" between Luna and him which she said was just a "best friend thing" which didn't seem that way...

Hardin was the guy I couldn't take my eyes off from. Every time I saw him I couldn't stop staring at him. He was good in sports and shit he was good looking for me at least but he was rude. Fucking rude to me. He had no respect for girls at all and till today I still don't know what was so attractive about him which made me love him so much. Was it even love or just infatuation?

He used to hurt me continuously and I was still so mad for him until Zac made me realize I was wasting my time over a guy who doesn't even care about me.

I don't know if he ever cared but I had this small feeling that he did...

He had asked me out one night. I never expected that from him and I was so fucking excited, jumping around the entire fucking house that I was finally going to date the guy I've been admiring and crushing on for fucking years.

FLASHBACK:
*"Can I ask you something?"*

I had come home from church. If he wanted to ask me something why didn't he speak to me after mass.
*"Yeah?"* My heart is racing.

*Can we date?"*  My heart is fucking racing, so fast that it might just jump out of my chest. He is fucking serious or is it just a prank?

*"Are you kidding me? "* I ask with my heart in my mouth.

*"No I'm serious."*

*"Is it a prank?"* I ask.

*"No I want to date you."*

*Uh-okay but..."*

*"But there's a condition."*

*Stop hanging around with Elaine."*

..

He asked me to choose between him and Elaine. Elaine was my best friend after Luna, ex best friend now. I couldn't have chose him over her. We were so attached then. I said I couldn't do that but I can try not to be too close. He was fine with it. We almost started dating but then his fuck up type of best friend told him to concentrate on his career and then date.

I told him that I'll be waiting for him and whenever he's ready, we could.

*Are you mad?  He's done so much to you and your still after him?"* Zac asks.

*I love him."*

*But he hurts you repeatedly. You should just move on."*

There's when Zac and me started dating.

Since Zac and I started dating, Luna acted weird. I thought being my best friend she was over possessive and thought that I'll forget about her after dating until she told me she had feelings for me.

*"You'll never understand the way I love you. It's different."*

If only she could stop feeling for me  I could move on and be happy with Zac.