Bi-stressed

CHAPTER 12

We're in the middle of this extensive lake now. The lake shimmering in the sunlight. The Sun is quite warm, making us feel pleasant in this cool weather.

"Stop paddling." Kim tells me.

"Why?"

"Let's wait here for a while. It feels so warm and nice."

"Okay." I agree. I wanted to stop here anyways.

The warm sun mellows the cool breeze. I lay my head back and close my eyes. This is so gratifying. This place mitigates and soothes my pain. I feel so relieved and relaxed.

"This is so calm." I tell Kim and she nods in agreement.

As I open my eyes, the light hits my eyes causing me to blink a few times. I look towards Kim. She's relaxing too with her head resting back.

I lay back, looking at the sky. Its around 5:30 and the sun is about to set, while the moon peeks in. One side the sun and the other side the moon. Right opposite each other still out of reach.
"We will never be together .
If you look for me I will always be in the background, watching you shine.
Only to remind you I'm not gone.
I will always be a reflection of you."
My heart sinks when I memorize this quotation.

Fuck, I thought this place was comforting me and was serving to alleviate my thoughts, feelings and pain but I know nothing can prevent this. Nothing except her, being around her feel so.... no Zac. He's my distraction. He's the only one who can solace me and make me forget about her and about all my worries but he is also the one who makes me cry most of the time. It's the worst shit ever. The person who makes you feel better is also the reason why you're always crying.

I look around and see Luna and Melissa coming towards us.

"Kim, you awake?" I ask.

"Yeah." she replies.

"They are coming to bang us.. I mean our boat." I tell her.

"Paddle fast!" she screams. "Out of their reach."

We try paddling fast...

"Don't bang us!" Kim giggles.

"Bang you'll?"

"No I meant the boat!" Kim clears herself out and we all chortle.

"Bang!" Their boat crashes in us with a bang and we all join in laughter again.

After few seconds, they move away from us just a little further

..

My eyes throw wide and when I look around, we're in the middle of this immense  lake, Kim relaxing beside me and Luna and Melissa's boat just a little further.

Kim unlatches her eyes and looks at me.

"This place feels like paradise."

"Sitting in this boat, with this beautiful scenery with the love of your life is all one needs!" I say aloud for Luna to hear, and wishing Zac would be sitting beside me or I would be sitting with Luna. I wish I could sit with her but then again I couldn't give into her.
"But all I do is give and all you do is take.
Something's gotta change, but I know that it won't.
No reason to stay is a good reason to go..."

After all the fights, I've always give in to her and been the one to apologize taking all the blames on me and every time I let her in she hurts me again. It has to change, her feelings for me and mine for her but I know it won't. I have try and move on because there is no reason to stay if this cycle is going to continue. No reason to stay is a good reason to go...

"Like those two!" Luna yells, interrupting my thoughts and pointing at Ruby Rose and Ivanita Sarkis.

Everyone thinks Ruby and Ivani are dating and maybe it's true. Love sees no gender. It's true I guess.