Bi-stressed

CHAPTER 36

"Now that the party is over, you come back to me?"

"No, it's not like that baby."

"Don't baby me. Instead of assuring me you weren't doing anything wrong and telling me that I could trust you, you shut me out. You didn't reply to my messages or calls leaving me curious to know what you must be doing out there without me." I yell breathlessly through the receiver. After taking a deep breath I continue, "And then you tell me that I'm over thinking stuff because that's the option you left for me to do by shutting me out. You said you were fed up of it and that I should sleep. Take yourself in my place, if I had gone for a party without you and wouldn't reply to your messages or call back, what would you think?" I fire at him.

"I would have trusted you and thought you were busy dancing and enjoying with your friends."

"Bullocks! If guys were present there, you would definitely think I'm hooking up with one."

He remains silent for a moment and then says, "I would doubt that."

"Exactly." I say aloud.

"But I wasn't up to any shit. I swear. Please trust me."

"You were supposed to say that to me then." I pause and then say, "I'm hurt and your the cause of it. You hardly care about me when you're with your friends and I'm tired of you treating me like that." Luna could treat me better. I think to myself.

"I love you." He says in a soft voice.

"You don't! If you did, you would have called back right after I hung up. You told me you were fed up of me crying all the time and that I should sleep, this showed how much u care to love me." I sob. I should have just slept and forgotten about it all. I could have started fresh in the morning forgetting yesterday even existed.
    I want to hold on to him but I can't let go of her. I can't let him hurt me and I can't let myself hurt her.

I let it out. "I think I'm bisexual and have feelings for Luna." I confess to Zac.

He paused for a second and said, "Like I told you before, leave me, make yourself scarce. Go be with her, she needs you." He's says sarcastically but I know he's hurt. He should be. I'm so cruel for hurting him and her.

"She needs me, don't you need me?" I find myself asking him.

"I do."

"Then show me that you do!"

"I need you Alexia. I want you!  How to make you believe me?"

"Care for me, love me the way she does."

"I'm sorry but I can't be her. I love you more than she does, more than anyone."

"We be getting along fine until you do something which hurts and then I find myself thinking about her. That she would love and treat me better than you do!"

"If you think she can, if you think she'll make you happier than I do then for your happiness I'll allow myself to forget you. You can stay happy with her."

"I can't let go of you either. I want you to treat me well. I want you to make me happy. I want you to love and care about me."

"Okay, I apologize for everything that happened few hours ago. I promise that I'll never hurt you again. You're my first priority and I love you."

"I love you."

...

She grabs hold of my hand and takes me up the steps into the library.

"Talk to me." Luna's voice makes my heart race.

"I am."

"Look up, into my eyes. Please." she requests.

"I can't." I can't help falling into them.

"Please." she pleads

I look up at her face-into her eyes. Fuck no. My eyes fall down to her lips as she runs her tongue over her then sucking her lips inside. Fuck no.

"What's bothering you, may I know?"

"I'm stuck. Stuck again between you and him."

"If you love truly, you can't be stuck between two. You'll choose only one."

"I can't choose one. I can't let go of you even though I want him."

"Close your eyes." she demands in her softest, sweetest voice and I do as I'm told. "Whoever comes in your mind first, that's who you actually love."