Bi-stressed

CHAPTER 40

"What happened?" Celine and Tessa ask when I reach them.

"I had an altercation with Ruby and then with Luna."

"What betided then. Tell us the whole thing?  Why didn't you call us?"

After telling them everything I say, "I could fight alone."

"We're so sorry. We didn't know, if we did, you know we would definitely have your back." They say giving me a concerned look.

"Thanks." I force a smile. I wish Lyra had come today.

"If Lyra was there-"

"Screw it." I cut her off. I'm trying so hard to stop the tears from falling out. My eyes are so blurry with tears that I can hardly see anything.

"Are you crying?"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are." Celine says.

Kim just abandoned me, deserted and betrayed me. She didn't end up coming to me, I knew it. Screw her too, I don't need to care anyways. I don't need to feel betrayed or abandoned. I'm good. I have to be doing good.

...

"Lexi is something wrong?" Halsey asks me with a concerned look.

"No, everything is good." I force a smile.

"I don't think so. You're seeming very quiet all day. See, if there is something wrong you can share it with me. You'll feel better and the weight on your chest will seem lighter."

"Luna liked Zac and kissed him but now she loves me. Not a friend kind of love but she's-"

"A lesbian?" She says with a surprised look on her face.

"No, she's bisexual. She likes girls and boys."

"Okay so?"

"And she wants me more than a friend but I only want her as a best friend but after hearing she kissed Zac, I don't know how to feel about her."

"See Lexi, I've told you before, friends are not permanent. Many friends abandon and betray you, very few remain loyal. Look at Elaine only, you'll were so close and best of friends. What she did? Spread rumors about you and Zac. Luna also, being your best friend came between you and Justin and now between you and Zac. Friends don't do this. By now, you need to know the difference between real and fake friends."

"I've come to know. Kim is the same, she abandoned me. She chose her over me... But Luna and me are connected and so attached, she was my best friend." I say as tears fall down my cheeks.

Pulling me closer and giving me a hug she says, "You have me. You have Zac, you have him as your best friend, share with him everything, you don't need Luna if she's done so much to you."

I don't need her. I don't need Kim. I don't need Elaine.
My three very close friends did so much to me and I still run behind them.
I'm so dumb. I'm so naive. I'm so stupid.
            I was now I'm not!

"Fuck them! You have me." Zac assures me.

"Tell me the truth. Did she really kiss you?"

"Okay she didn't, but she tried to."

"Why did you tell me she did then?"

"I didn't feel the need to put the tried to. It still makes no difference whether she tried to kiss or kiss."

"It makes a lot of difference." Actually it doesn't, even though she didn't but she tried to kiss him which is clear enough that she intended to kiss him and wanted to.

"But I pushed her away and told her that I would tell you what kind of a best friend she is but she starting crying."

"Crying for?"

"She was like, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. You're my best friend's boyfriend and I just-  It didn't strike me. I'm extremely sorry. I don't know what was wrong with me."

"Okay." I knew she couldn't have kissed him. But she tried to, my subconscious hits me.

"I only love you." Zac says taking my hand in his and kissing it.

"You sure?" I ask.

"Yes, I love you. Only you." He reassures me.

"And I love you." But I still love Luna. It's going to be so hard to get over her even though we haven't dated. Our connection was strong and we were so close and attached. It's going to take so much time for our love to fade.

After few minutes, I get a message from Luna.

*"Can we speak?"*

At first I feel like leaving her on seen but the let me hear what she has to say for the last time. It might change my mind and agree with my heart.
   No, she's done too much to my heart to even change me. I hear my mind say.

*"Yes."* I reply.

*"I've always loved you truly and always will. My love for you is not fake. Please believe me."*

*"I don't want to believe you. I can't."*

*"You have to please. So you're giving up on me."*

No. Yes. *"Yes, I'm giving up on you."*

*"You're seriously giving up on me?"*

*"Yes. I am giving up on you."*

*"You sure?"*

*"You know what, I never loved you. I just said it for the sake of it because I didn't want you to be hurt but I guess you don't deserve it."*  Please don't believe me because I've always loved you, love you and will always. How much I try not to the more I'll end up loving you.

*"I deserve to be hurt."*

*"Yes."* No.

"What happened?" Zac and Halsey ask at the same time when they hear my quiet sobs turn loud.

"Nothing." I sob and Zac snatches my phone from my hand. After reading it, hands it to Halsey.

"I'll talk to her."

"No,  please don't." But she's already dialed her up and it's ringing. I hope she doesn't put it on speaker. I can't bear to hear her voice. But I want to so bad.

"Luna? Yes this is Halsey... What's going on between you and Lexi? ... Nothing? I've heard something about you...  You love Lexi? Is it true that you're a lesbian?" What the fuck. Don't tell her that please. She's gonna feel so-
"Does you mom know?...  If this is the case, then we gotta tell your mom and family." No please, don't. "Lexi doesn't want anything to do with you. Please forget about her." With this she ends the call.

"She denied the fact that she's lesbian."

"Because she's not!" I cry out. "She bisexual. You shouldn't have told her you know she's- she must have felt so hurt."

"She's hurt you and your still concerned about her being hurt?"

"Yeah because she was my best friend. It'll take me time to forget about her."

"I know. I know how close you'll were and how much she meant to you Lexi. You gotta be strong."

I have to be strong.

I pick up the courage and block her and delete her number. Even though it's memorized by heart. I have to forget it.

                             I have to forget her.