Bi-stressed

CHAPTER 72

"Lexi, umm. You okay?" Hardin asks as the door opens, looking all concerned. He knows I'm not, why even ask that question. I don't answer, just simply nod and walk over to sit on the edge of the bed.

"You came here for?" I ask flatly, then take a deep breath trying not to break down infront of him.

"To, uh, I thought you may want to talk?"

"About what? Zac? and what you just saw?" I snap, flying my hands in the air dramatically. "Out of all people, why would I want to talk to you about 'him', being clearly aware of how much you resent him, which would add more to you disliking him."

"You're taking me wrong. I just came to you know... kind of... console you? That sight was quite painful." He half asks then half states as if it caused him the pain.

"Was it painful for you," I state, he opens his mouth to speak but I don't give him a chance to and continue, "no, so you don't need to act all concerned about me instead you should be enjoying this time with your girl friend. I appreciate you saving me from Travis earlier and coming here to console me but I don't need anyone." I know I'm lying, I do need someone, someone who understands me. I need her. She's the only one who understands me.

"I need space, Hardin. I'm sorry for being harsh on you but I'll be more grateful to you if you leave."

Without saying a word he leaves and momentary I am grateful for him leaving but soon regret how I practically made him leave whiles all he did was try and comfort me. I look around in search for my phone and realize I didn't check my phone since the time I arrived here and so I dig in my bag for my phone but instead find my diary and the picture of the "sun and moon" fly out. Picking it up, I wonder how my diary ended up in here, the pages mostly scattered with all my feelings. I suddenly feel like the lyrics from these pages will fly out too and be exposed to everyone.

This is a sign.

"You can either cry it out or write it down."  Lyra's words replay and I wish to call her right now but due to being remote from the city, the signals wouldn't work here properly or maybe not at all.

Right now is that I decide to write down instead of wasting my precious tears. I still cry though while writing. This one and a half year was all nothing but a lie. A lie that Zac Steele was in love with me. A lie he played so well and trapped me into believing him. How could I have fallen so easily for him in such a short time? What about all the tears and laughters we shared? What about everything we went through? All the fights, misunderstandings, intimate moments. He played all of them just to reach to this point? To want to have sex with me? But leave me when I refused to. Now he's out there with Gwyneth, leaving me all to myself.

Dark thoughts invade my mind, fucking me up to the extent that I don't have the ability to keep my swollen eyes from crying, open. I can feel the heaviness in my eyes and am unable to carry the weight any longer. Comparing to the weight of my now bloodshot eyes to the weight of this heartbreak, I realize that obviously the heartbreak is much more heavier than, to carry.

"I played you. All this while you were being fooled. Oh honey! You thought I'm the kind to fall in love with someone?"

My heart shatters all over again and my soul is being pierced a multiple times yet I stand here waiting for Zac to laugh out in my face and pull me towards him, saying he's just joking and that he could never even think of playing me.

"Wake up, darling!" He says, patting my face hard. "It's all over now! It was fun though." He winks, walking away towards Gwyneth who's scantily dressed showing off her thick curvy figure which is mostly enticing to Zac.