Dear Katharine

November 22, 20xx 5:37 P.M.

Nov. 22, 20xx
5:37 P.M.

Dear Kath,
                 Today, we went to church as usual. Father Andrew delivered a timely homily that really spoke to me. It was about the life of Job who went through extreme circumstances yet he proved himself faithful to God. But what I was so glad about was when he talked about Job's friends who instead of consoling him, they invalidated and judged him. They claimed that the reason why Job is suffering because he is being punished for his sin. Father Andrew then beseeched us to be faithful even if the heavens seem to pay no attention to our situation and he implored us to refrain from judging other people's suffering for like Job's friends, God became angry with them. Instead, Father concluded with a verse which I purposely remembered: “Mourn with those who mourn”. I truly hope everyone who speaks evil of Kuya Ian and Jenna would heed his homily.
               I cannot say if Father Andrew's words spoke to everyone who attended the mass, but I believed that they have spoken to Mama for when we got home she wanted to speak to me.
              “Anak,” she began. “I just noticed how miserable you are for the past few days. What is bothering you?”
              “Nothing,” I told her for I wanted to finish this conversation and proceed to my room where I can cry and overthink. But Mama wasn't satisfied with my answer.
      “Is it because of Richard?” she asked.
      I was stunned. “How did you know?”
      “Did you really think I wouldn't notice? I'm your mother. I know when you had a bad day or when you are angry at me. I knew for sure you two are together because you always go home late and you are always kinikilig. Plus, our neighbors are too talkative. Nothing's ever a secret,” she explained. “So, you two have broken up?”
      I began to sob which has become my hobby for the past weeks. Mama hugged which I never knew I needed so much. “Aren't you angry at me for not telling you?” I asked her after wiping my tears away.
      “No, just disappointed,” she answered that made me feel terrible. I know I hated her political views, but she is still my mother and I feel sad for her. I started to put myself in her situation, she has been looking after me while Papa is working abroad. She must feel sad not being with him while dealing with a teenager. I really feel sorry for her.
      “I'm sorry. I just thought you'd never understand. I thought you'd disapprove,” I told her.
              “It's alright, honey. I never told your grandparents about your Papa until months before our wedding. They were really strict you know, especially, your lolo,” she replied.
              “What did he do?”
              “He was so angry, he threw a fit. He wanted me to become a lawyer after finishing my undergraduate course, that's why he was so angry when I broke to him the news. But I was smart enough to persuade him. I told him and your lola that I was pregnant which enraged my father more, but I knew he would agree because they had a strong opinion about raising children,” she told her story with passion to which I listened with intent. “They believed that a child must be raised with a father and a mother which was absurd to me because my father wasn't around that much when I was growing up. He was always working. But I guess, that is how we survived the hard provincial life.”
            “Were you really pregnant?” I was so surprised because Mama has a firm stand on premarital sex.
            “No, I was a virgin until your father and I got married. I just told them that so they would let me marry your Papa and it worked,” she answered. We laughed because of this. I really felt good because of this.
            “Mama, what happened to lolo? I remember I was four when he died and you told me that he died because naengkanto siya. That's not the real reason why, right?” I asked her light-heartedly, but her face became serious which alarmed me. She  stood up and started washing the dishes.
           “I have to start cooking,” she told me which signaled that our conversation was over.  I knew I wouldn't get any answer from her so I went to my room and documented what just took place.
            I'm really curious why Lolo Ben died. I also remembered that he had a closed-casket on his wake. We also moved to Manila after he was buried. I mean I don't regret moving away because I met you, Kath, but something really bugs me. I feel like I need to know what caused his death aside from the absurd story Mama told me when I was younger which I believed. But now that I don't believe in tikbalang, manananggal and other Filipino mythical creatures, I want to know what really happened. I promise you, Kath, one day I will extract the answer from Mama,  just you wait.
          I have to go and do my assignments. Now that Chard and I broke up I'm back to who I used to be. I don't go to the bilyaran anymore because I want to forget everything that happened there, the good and the bad. I guess I will cry before I will do my homeworks. I need more tissues and I have to go and buy them first.
           Paalam, I'll write again soon.