Dear Katharine

December 18, 20xx

TRIGGER WARNING: physical abuse

Dec. 18, 20xx

Dear Kath,

                     I have always believed that the first of November of this year is the worst day of my life and nothing can top that off. I was wrong. For today is worse than hell.
                      Everything today began so well. I woke up ten minutes earlier before my alarm rang and I didn't go back to sleep, Mama prepared my favorite ulam for breakfast, I stopped ignoring Rob, and our English teacher gave us an 88 for our performance in Oli Impan (isn't this great). And after school today, Christmas break has officially begun.
                     Afterwards, I went to the mall to buy Christmas gifts for Mama, Papa, Jenna, Rob and Chard. I easily found the perfect gifts for all of them. I got Mama a jewelry box which I have to admit, is too fancy for my budget. That's why I decided not to buy a gift for Papa instead, I decided to draw him a portrait so he would know how much I treasure his early Christmas gift to me. I got Jenna a diary with encouraging quotes in every page so she will never give up. And I bought the two boys a shirt and a cap because they are not that materialistic which I still have to decide who will receive which.
                     When I thought my day couldn't be any better, I ran into a celebrity at the mall. Guess who it was? Angel Locsin was there! I took a picture with her and she's so sweet. She's a real life Darna.
                    I also bought snacks and milktea for my plans to have an overnight with Jenna. My hands were full of stuff but I easily got into a tricycle and arrived home earlier than I expected despite the Holiday traffic. I dropped all my stuff in my room and had a quick shower. I hurriedly packed all the things I needed for tonight and I was off the streets once again to go to Jenna's.
                      It was then when I realized that I shouldn't have bought the milktea at the mall because the ice has melted by now. I also realized that I forgot to buy a gift wrapper and the groceries Mama asked me to buy. So I called Mama who was helping at the church's Christmas charity and told her I forgot to buy what she asked me to. I got an irritating scolding over the phone and it ruined my day. I knew that this day was too good to be true. And it's just about to get worse.
                      I decided to take the shortcut to Jenna's house because I didn't bring my bike. It was the worst decision I have ever made in my life. You see, this shortcut is a sketchy alley which is a crime hotspot. It is surrounded by homes of informal settlers whose makeshift houses are too small for anyone to live in. I know certain people who live in here and most of them are nice. But everyone, including them, considers it normal to see dead people on their streets, especially when the extrajudical killings began, particularly in the alley.
                      Mama warned me never to take this path and I should have listened to her. I have trodden this path before but today, as I was traversing this dirty and claustrophobic alley, people began running and I saw a cardboard that is identical to the one beside Kuya Ian when died. There were bodies lying on the ground, one of them looked like Jerwin. I was trying to take a closer look when someone grabbed my hand and pulled me to run away from the alley. I couldn't recognize him because everyone has covered their faces with handkerchief but he has blood splattered all over his shirt. He continued to drag me even though I resisted.
                      “Sumama ka na sa'kin! 'Wag ka na makulit,” he said and I immediately recognized his voice. It was someone I know. But because of what's going on I doubted if it was really him. I also noticed that he was holding a bloody knife which scared me even more. We ran away to a familiar place—to the back of the bilyaran. This convinced me that the person who brought me there was indeed Chard. And it was really him because I saw his button-nose and sweet lips revealed when he removed the handkerchief from his face. His piercing eyes were anxious and his body shivering.
                       “What happened to you? Where did you get this,” I inquired, concerned about the blood on his shirt and knife on his hand. He looked like Tony, the character he played the other day. I was afraid he has become Tony. My fear was right.
                      “Justice has just been served,” Chard said while smiling at me maniacally.
                      “Chard, I don't understand. What do you mean?” I asked him to clear my confused anxious mind.
                     “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth! Jerwin has already paid for the life he has taken, “ Chard replied looking into my eyes with great joy but he suddenly changed his tone after remembering Jenna. “Well, justice probably hasn't been fully served because we only made him pay for the life of Kuya Ian not for what he did to Jenna. We didn't rape him.”
                     “What have you done, Chard? What did you do?” I started crying after confirming my worries. But we were both distracted by the police cars whose sirens were on driving to the alley a hundred meters from where we were.
                      “We should hide. They'll come for me,” he said looking outside if there are people coming our way and he pulled me once again to run away. But a police car was parked in front of the bilyaran so we couldn't leave the place. Cops began searching the place and we started panicking.
                     “What do we do?” I asked Chard but instead of answering he gave me his knife and asked me the most absurd question possible.
                     “Claire, you said that what Regina did to her own son is an act of love. Do you love me the way Regina loves Tony?”
                     “What?” I was hysterical. My body was shaking and my mind blank.
                     The cops were already coming and Chard began crying. “Claire, answer me! Claire!”
                     I couldn't. I couldn't do what he was asked me to do. So I gave him the knife back and a few seconds later he was being arrested. I just stood and watch while they handcuffed  and punched him  like what they did Tony in the play. They took him to a police car and drove away.
                   One of the cops approached me and began asking questions. I answered them reluctantly because I'm afraid that I would answer something that would incriminate me. Thankfully, I didn't. The same cop brought me home. I was still disillusioned. It felt like everything was just a dream.             
                     Mama just got home and was so worried after seeing the cops with me. She asked me what happened but I couldn't answer her. I entered my room, told Jenna I can't come tonight and bawled my eyes out. I slept afterwards.
                   I woke to my mother's voice and the loud volume of our television. Mama was definitely watching the evening news from a network she deems as the only trust-worthy media because Banat By called the others as fake news peddlers
                    “Claire, Claire! Come down here!” Mama called me but I didn't come down not until I heard the voice of a female news anchor mention Chard's name.
                   “Si Richard Manuel ay isa sa mga nahuling suspek sa pagpaslang kay Jerwin Adoro anak ni Mayor Gertrude Tiro Adoro.” After hearing this, I immediately went down the stairs and watched the pixelated photos on the screen of a dead teenager wearing the same blood-splattered shirt that Chard wore. “Nanlaban umano ang binatilyo kaya napilitang magpaputok ng baril ang mga pulis na siyang ikinamatay nito...”
                  We later heard from Tita Maritess that all his nails were pulled and removed, and his body  bruised. I covered my ears to stop forming the gruesome image in my head.
                   Kath, I'm so sorry. I wasn't bold enough to kill your kuya myself. Forgive me.