Dear Katharine

November 18, 20xx

Nov. 18, 20xx
8:44 P.M.

Dear Kath,
                          
                  Last time I wrote seemed a long time ago because there are many things that happened that I wished never did. I think you will find it heartbreaking now that I'm no longer dating your kuya.
                  Honestly, Kath, everything lost there meaning. Time, studies, life, I feel like they don't matter anymore. Am I reacting too much? I do hope you wouldn't judge me for being shallow, but our break-up is just the tipping point. Now that we are no longer together, I have no one to disract me from all my painful thoughts, no one I can lean onto when I  can't take anything anymore and no one to relieve my anger whenever I feel like I want to explode.
                 I told Jenna everything and she comforted me. She has become really nice and I'm thankful because I feel so shallow. Imagine, my sufferings cannot compare to what she's going through, but when she comforted me she never said any “ako nga eh” story to make me feel horrible for feeling the way I feel even though she has every right to say that.
                I'm so amazed by how Jenna is handling things now. She looks better, but of course, she is still broken. Who wouldn't be? She told me she is seeing a shrink and that Father Andrew, the priest in our parish, helps her alot. She told me Fr. Andrew is persuading her parents to still pursue legal actions against Jerwin. He said he knows a human rights lawyer that can help them although Tita Rica refused because they are already going through so much and she believes it will  hurt Jenna more if Jerwin gets acquitted in the end. Jenna said she is not ready to face the world. She is ashamed of what happened to her which is so cruel. She is the one who is ashamed while Jerwin  brags to his friends how he got away from his crimes.
                 I forgot to tell you, the autopsy report on Kuya Ian suggests that he was tortured before he was shot. I didn't understand what else it contained when Tita Rica was reading it which I guess is good for my mental health because I'm on the brink of my sanity.
                  I guess I should see a shrink too, but Mama shares the same opinion of a host from a noontime show that she loves, who claim that depression is only made up by those who suffer from it and must not be given any attention.
              But even if she believes otherwise, our economic situation will not permit us to seek professional help because Papa is still providing for his mother and other relatives in the province. I guess that is also the reason why they want me to study well and work hard, so that when they grow old, I will also provide for them. I mean I don't mind doing that. I love them. But their expectations from me is  too high and I'm pressured to fulfill them.
                 I have to go. I need to find ways to distract myself so I wouldn't overthink.