Dear Katharine

November 13, 20xx

November 13, 20xx
12:34 A.M.

Dear Kath,
                 Last night is one of the worst nights of my life! I'll tell you everything in detail.
                 Chard made up to me last night. I'm pretty glad that he was the one who apologized this time because I have always been the one who ends up saying sorry after an argument.
                  We went to see a movie, ate pizzas, had a drink in the bilyaran and had really simple fun, one that I had been asking for and one that I totally need after all I had been through. It felt wonderful. It is exactly what I had in mind when I hear the word “romantic”, one that I had fantasized for so long. I could never ask for more. I'm so happy and all I know is that I fell in love all over again. Then we had the sweetest kiss that is the perfect ending for a perfect night. But that is not how it ended.
                   He wanted to talk. He said that in a very serious manner that worried me because it has ruined the perfect fantasy that we just had. And there was silence. He wanted to say something, but something was holding him back. He let out a sigh, a sigh that marked the second before my heart was broken.
                   “I wanted to break up with you,” he said. I was speechless. I couldn't believe this was happening after we had just the perfect evening.
                    “I don't understand,” I said after getting back to the dark and cruel reality after a taste of his lovely kiss. “What is this all about?”
                    “Claire, I love you, but I'm not in the best place right now to  in a relationship. I can't treat you the way you want me to because I can't even treat myself the way I deserve,” he began to explain.
                    “What are you saying? You never told me about this before,” I replied still confused.
                    “I couldn't bring myself to tell you. I just think I'll be less of a man to tell you that I wanted to cry the same way you could about all that has been happening without losing face because deep inside I want to burst! I just... I'm drowning in agony and I can't stop it,” Chard said with a shaking voice while he was trying to control himself from shouting.
                  “I feel the same way. Why can't you cry to me and tell me how you feel? I can't help you. We can get through this together,” I pleaded.
                  “You can't help me! Claire, don't fool yourself,” he caught himself shouting, but calmed down so not to draw any attention from the people inside the bilyaran. “We both need help, Claire. Can't you see the trauma that we have been through. I mean, it was great to have you help me get over Kath's death, but now that things are getting worse, we are better off focusing on ourselves.” He had just confirmed the fears I had from the very beginning of our relationship which caused tears to stream down my face.
                  “Then why did you have to be all so nice? Why the date, the movie and the kiss? Why did you do all of this if you're breaking up with me?” I asked angrily. He tried to calm me down because people have begun looking at us and I felt embarrassed.
                   “We should go somewhere else,” he said.
                  “No, I just want to go home and pretend this is just a stupid dream!”
                  “Claire, listen to me! I just wanted to treat you the way you deserve before we break up. I want you to feel that I love you, but I'm not in a good condition. Don't you love me? I'm suffering and I need time to think about everything...” I cut him off.
                 “You're breaking up with me because you think I add to your suffering? I don't understand you at all!”
               “You're not but I have to exert so much effort to treat you well and I'm left with nothing to treat myself,” he answered. “Please do understand.”
              “You know what it would have been better if you just dumped after our fight today. But you didn't. You had to make me feel like I have so much to lose now that we're breaking up! Don't you care how I will feel,” I sobbed on his chest while he hugged me and kissed my head. I feel tears flowing from his cheeks too which made me sob all the more gradually accepting the end of my first relationship.
               He still walked me home, but we spoke not one word. And as we parted, we looked at each other but we didn't smile at one another the way we did when we knew we were in love. It was then when we realized everything has changed between us. That's when I knew it is really over between us.
              Please, come down from heaven, Kath. Just give me a hug as I cry the night away.