Dear Katharine

November 04, 20xx 9:12 P.M.

TRIGGER WARNING:  this entry could be a trigger. If you feel like your mental health could he affected, I advise you to read no further.

Nov. 04, 20xx
9:12 pm

Dear Kath,
                  I went to church today. I confessed that I doubted God's goodness and power after everything that has been going on. It has been tough believing in the existence of a supreme being, let alone a good one, after living in the past couple of days. But now that Jenna is found, I believe that there must be someone above guiding her that made her miraculous return possible.
                  But after church we visited Jenna in the hospital this afternoon, and all my confessed doubts had resurfaced again. Jenna's state is unrecognizable! Her eyes are swollen and red and her body is heavily bruised. She remains unconscious, but the doctor explained to us she is not in a critical condition, but they are still monitoring her. We have been told that there is no doubt that she was raped. I asked Tita Rica, Jenna's mother, where Jenna was found, and sha answered that anonymous men dropped her in their front porch after the parents agreed to the cops not to pursue any legal case against the criminals in exchange for Jenna's life. Jenna's parents are willing to give up justice for Kuya Ian in order for them not to lose another child. They said they are fine by it as long as Jenna is alive. They understand they wouldn't win anyway because the mayor is a relative of an appointed judge in the Supreme Court and a senator who was also accused of rape before but was acquitted.
                It rained as we left the hospital. The water droplets were heavy and it tasted like tears as if the heavens are mourning with me for the absence of justice. But after that visit I realized, instead of continuing to doubt God, I came across Jose Rizal's quote saying, “I have to believemuch  in God because I have lost faith in man.” I pray that judgement day will come soon. I pray that those cruel criminals will suffer!
              But I'm thankful for Chard who distracted me from all these. We went to eat outside, and we played at a perya in a near barangay where its people are celebrating their pista. They have rides that are begging for accidents to happen: a ferris wheel that felt like a roller coaster, a roller coaster that felt like a train to hell, and a horror house called Hell's Dungeon that felt like a furnace. But no matter how dangerous they are, we still rode all of them. We also bought street food that Mama said they will cause ulcer if I consume too much, but I still ate them even if I have had them four times this week. Then we gambled our money away fully aware that my gambling addiction will hurt my financial mamagement, but I still gambled away. I didn't mind doing all these things because I needed to have fun today, for I knew I will once again battle with my thoughts tonight. May God help me, but most of all, may God help Jenna.