I'm happy for you. (julie and the phantoms) (sunset curve)

Dead.

Tw: mentions of r*pe, murder, kidnapping, panic attacks, suicide. ( dudes theres gonna be this tw in every chapter he's kidnapped. <3

Luke pov

so I sit there, numb- well not quite numb, considering my tears won't stop, but numb enough I haven't offed myself. lord help me. then brad's friend walks in.

Brads friend: hey Mary I know add we shouldn't come in here till you say so but I-

then he looks up, at me standing over mary's corpse. lucky he didn't see the tears. I'm so dead.

brads friend: what- what did you do?!?!? help! what-

I cover his mouth with my hand.

L: shut up! if brad hears you, he's gonna come over here and kill me. you know Mary's the only thing stopping him!

he tries to scream again and I pin him down.

L: please. ill do anything. I can't die. not now I-

I can't hurt Alex again.

Brads friend: anything?

L: anything- oh no. no- I'm not- no.

Brads friend: BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!!! i'm sorry, but Mary was my friend.

no she wasn't. you were about to trade her for- well me. but he's right. murdering a girl in cold blood is wrong on so many levels no matter who she killed or threatened. I deserve to rot away in a jail cell or die. I just hope Alex never finds out. I CANT hurt him anymore. you saw what happened last time! I just want to see them again. I miss Alex and reggie and bobby and- and Brittaney, and my mom and my dad and. I-

so I start crying, and brads friend decides this is the perfect time to hug me. bad timing- try and r*pe me when I'm not in such a vulnerable position please. ughhhhh now I'm crying into a r*pists shoulder while he actively tries to get in my pants and we wait for his murder friend to come kill me for killing his friend for killing my ex. my life is a bit of a mess right now.

my life feels like its crumbling on my shoulders, I can't breathe or see anything anymore and all I can hear is myself hyperventilating. never been one to attend mass, but I'm praying. barely though. I can't really get a straight thought out- or a gay one for that matter.

I snap out of it though, when a certain someone touches my no-no square. like a very no no square region.

L: what the hell?! BRAD!!!!!!

suddenly brad shows up in the doorway. he looks at his friend weird ( he's still hugging me)

B: what is happening?

then he sees Mary.

B: what is HAPPENING?!?!?

Brads friend: he beat up Mary. she tried talking to him- helping him, and he knocked her out cold. she's bleeding!

Brad: you're gonna pay for this fag!

he runs up to her and does something- I can't see, and she stirs. she's alive?!?!? then why'd I call brad. oh I'm so dead.

Brad: now, we take care of our little friend.

L: are you referring to yourself as a collective because I KNOW this *redacted* who's been hitting on me since I got here isn't about to try me.

Brad: what? dude don't tell me you're gay

brads friend: of course not! he just tried to kill Mary. he's just crazy.

so they stand up and hit me till I'm on the ground, in a ball, and even then, they continue to kick at my head and ribs. everything hurts. then I hear a snap and I'm puke. then they kick the puke at me. now I'm spitting up blood and I'm fairly certain they broke something. I just want to see Alex one more time. see reggie one more time. dang it I just wanna go to the dance on friday0- if that hasn't passed. I don't know, they won't tell me anything about time. I just wanted to live my life. its not my fault Im gay! I'm not even gay I'm pan! but it is my fault I almost killed someone. I almost killed her. I deserve this. I'm a worthless- good for nothing- murderous-cheating- faggot.

so I sit there and let myself - well I let myself die. I have nothing to live for. I love Alex, but he wouldn't love me if saw what I just did. if he knew how bad a person I really am.

so when brad kicks me one more time, hitting my head hard enough that I hear a crack, feel a sharp pain and blackout, I don't even care. it would've happened sooner or later

this is short and dark I know. I strongly feel like I should leave them alone when I'm in a bad mood, but the whole point of an escape is to get you outta a funk right? well. sorry everything seems so dark. I promise It'll get better. <3

also I learned today that I'm a homosexual Homo sapiens and I think thats cool.