IN ANOTHER LIFE (Pansy Parkinson x Reader)

Chapter 8 - Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled

PANSY'S POV

I hated ignoring y/n in the class, Slytherin and Hufflepuff rarely have classes together except for Herbology. I knew I couldn't approach because a) I don't think her friends would appreciate a Slytherin talking to her and, b) I don't believe my reputation or my friends would appreciate me going soft on a Hufflepuff. The thing is that she is the opposite of me. She's Cedric Diggory's, the prefect's sister, she volunteers to aid others, she gets good grades and she plans to follow in her brother's footsteps. She is so passionate about this stuff that I know for sure that me talking to her in front of everyone would not be beneficial for her plan.

Merlin, I looked forward to talking to her the whole day, but I knew if I appeared friendly with her, her brother would not like it. I usually don't care about what people think about me, but I knew with my reputation, y/n would have to face a lecture and she already has done so much for me. I don't want her to face consequences for my actions, anymore. I hope she didn't think I was ignoring her for any other reason.

My eyes started searching for her the instant I entered the Great Hall, hoping to speak to her or even nod at her, anything that would tell her that we are all right. This time it wasn't her laugh that caught my attention, this time it was her silence. She was looking at her plate absent-mindedly, swinging the spoon in her hand loosely. I furrowed my eyes at this scene of her, hoping to obtain a gaze from her so that I could let her know that I'm here for her. She raised her eyes, but the moment they landed on mine before I could make a gesture she immediately turned her head around as if intent to avoid me. What was that about?

I thought of going over to the Hufflepuff table and talk to her myself, but my mind convinced me to wait till the detention. It was probably because of my Slytherin bully reputation that I could not go over to the Hufflepuff table. I imagined things would remain the same till 7 pm. Only if I knew that they wouldn't. If I knew everything would change in a few hours I would have rushed to that damn table right now. If I knew I would lose her after this then I would not have postponed. If I knew she would haunt all my what-ifs. If I knew I would curse her for the longest time, I would have kissed her right at this moment and would never let go of her. Alas, I was unaware of the storm that would have followed. That's the thing about the future, you don't know shit.

I spent the rest of my day with Draco and didn't pay attention to the morning's incident a lot. Things feel pretty fine until it was time. Finally, I could talk to her and she would tell me about something dumb that her friends Megan and Wayne did. She would tell me about how much she dislikes Cedric's girlfriend cause she couldn't see herself being in love with someone so much that they lose themselves. Merlin, I would be happy to just hear her voice again and Merlin knows I have missed it.

When I entered the classroom, the scene wasn't what I expected. y/n was standing with her brother telling Snape something, with her head down as if she was sorry to let down somebody. I did not know what to expect from this group until Snape finally saw me.

"Ms. Parkinson, Is it true you were bullying a Ravenclaw when Ms. Diggory found you outside the great hall?" Snape inquired.

Fuck, Why would she rat me out? Why would she do that? What the fuck?

"So it is true," he added when he realized I wasn't going to justify myself.

"Very well, 50 points off Slytherin, and I will be contacting your parents. Until then, Ms. Parkinson would face the detention whereas Ms. Diggory you can leave with Mr. Diggory"

With her head down, she left the room, following her brother, and for some reason, my legs followed her out despite Snape's voice asking me to come back.

"Why would you do that to me?" I almost yelled at her from behind that made her shiver and stop in her tracks and both the Diggorys turned around.

"Because it is your fault and she should have done that a long time ago." her brother stated as if it was the most obvious thing.

I ignored his remark and my eyes kept searching her face for a reason, a sign, a gesture, anything that would tell me that her brother doesn't know shit, that we are okay despite everything. Anything, that would tell me that I would hear her rant about her stupid friends and her brother's girlfriend, but all I got was her avoiding me and my gaze.

"You expected my sister to protect you when you bullied a kid and her too by the way? he huffed with disgust, "we hate your kind."

"HATE MY KIND? SHE DOESNT HATE ME, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING, DIGGORY?" her body stiffened when I shouted at her brother.

"I do," she whispered, "I do hate your lot and you," she said at last meeting my gaze.

"I don't want you around me, Parkinson and I would complain if I caught you causing any more trouble than you already have," she concluded with her gaze, sterner than before making me feel like she meant it and everything that we had was a lie.

With that, she left with her brother beside her. She didn't mean that, did she?

Of course, she meant what she said and once again I was left alone with worse feelings than before. I felt stupid for letting my guard down around her, for letting her close enough to hurt me. Things were fine before her, but now I knew her, and I knew she would never hold my hand again. She would never cry on my shoulder again. She would never sneak into the kitchen with me again. I would never talk about life and shit with anyone. I would never laugh about my childhood and sister with anyone again. I would never hold her hand and walk to my dorm with her again. I would never be the cause of her laugh anymore. Yet, this time I felt lonelier than I did before her. This time I had someone to remember, someone that I lost way before I even had them. I was furious at her for leaving me after getting close to me. This time I had a reason to cry at nights, a reason to be mad all the time, a reason to not be optimistic, a reason to bully and inflict pain on others, a reason to hurt her the same way she hurt me.

A/N - Fuck, this was so hard to write. I've literally left myself speechless. Even though I did plan this, I'm still so shocked skssk. I did not expect it to turn out this intense.

I love Ced sm and I hate to make him the bad guy, I'm so sorry.

Also, instead of writing the next chapters, I ended up writing smut that I don't plan on adding till they are in year 6. What the fuck is wrong with me?
With love,
Pri