IN ANOTHER LIFE (Pansy Parkinson x Reader)

Chapter 41 - In another life, I would make you stay

PANSY'S POV

“Hi,” she finally answered, taking a seat in front of me, and I couldn't stop my lips from arching upwards.

She looked at me, puzzled. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to apologize,” I started, “What I said about your brother-”

She didn't let me finish and spoke. “You intentionally said that to push me away, didn't you?”

Merlin, for a second, I forgot how smart she was. Of course, she would know. I wouldn't voice it out, but I was so glad that she didn't spend the last months thinking I meant those cruel words. I knew I said it, but I still didn't want her to hate me. How could I ever want her to hate me when I adored her so much?

“You picked that up, didn't you?” I joked, trying to hide the delight in my voice and eyes.

“Yeah, I'm smarter than people give me credit for,” She huffed, her eyes focused on the fiddling fingers on her lap. She said it in a joking manner, but I knew she was serious.

“The smartest person I know.”

She raised her head towards me, faster than I thought was humanly possible. She looked shocked. Evidently, she did not expect me to say that. Well, I was just being honest. I understood how difficult it must be to live under the shadow of a prodigy like Cedric.

“I didn't think you'd come back,” I hoped that trying to change the topic would decrease the tension and anxiety I was feeling.

She chuckled dryly, “Yeah, me neither. My parents would not be pleased to know that I am sitting with you when I should be in my dorm.”

“Yeah, I can understand that,” I agreed. I still couldn't wrap my mind around why she was still sitting here with me — tolerating me. But I wasn't going to question that. I knew I didn't deserve her, and I'll do everything in my power to become the kind of person that deserved her. But right now, I would thank Merlin and my lucky stars for making her stay with me despite knowing everything.

“If Ced were here, he would have been so mad at me,” she said, shaking her head as tears welled up in her eyes at the thought of her brother.

“Yeah, I did not want you to come back either,” I concurred.

She nodded her head, mouthing 'I know' when her throat became too constricted to say it out loud.

We sat in comfortable silence for a while, both of us were too aware of each other's presence but also oblivious of the other's thoughts.

And for once in my life, I felt calm — content even. Is this what peace felt like? Because if it did, then I wanted to feel like this forever, but I wasn't naive. I knew I couldn't have her, so I decided to relish this moment for as long as I could.

Instinctively, without thinking, I stretched my hand towards her cheek when a tear escaped her eyes. Cupping her face, I ran my thumbs under her eyes, leaving no trace of the remaining remnants of tears.

She leaned into my touch, craning her neck to plant a kiss on my palm, and I moved closer towards her.

On instinct, both of us got on our knees, my hands resting on her cheeks, making it easier to pull her flush against my chest. She didn't resist, and I gently placed a kiss at the side of her mouth.

I didn't hold her too tight,giving her space to pull away from me and maintain distance if she wanted to. It was a question, she understood it quickly. Wrapping her arms around my waist, she placed her lips on mine in a tender kiss. None of us tried to deepen the kiss. We were appeased with the intimacy without taking it any further than that. Besides, this was no place to take things further for the first time. She deserved to be worshiped, and I wasn't going to indulge in that under the staircase.

After a while, I helped her situate on my lap, making her straddle my waist as I held hers to extinguish the miniscule distance between us.

When we broke off our kiss, we stayed like this, and she snaked her arms around my shoulder to engulf me in an embrace. I obliged, placing my chin at the top of her head, stroking my knuckles along her spine in a soothing way.

“It was me, you know,” I whispered, “I was there when he killed Dumbledore. I was supposed to kill him.”

She planted a kiss at the crook of my neck before exhaling, “I know.”

“And you still don't hate me?” I asked. How could she not hate me after knowing this? How did she still have it in her to forgive me — accept me?

Her voice was barely audible, and if we weren't literally in each other arms, then I wouldn't have heard her saying, “I could never hate you, love.”

My vision began getting blurry. Swallowing the lump forming in my throat, I questioned, “Why?”

“Because I-" She started before exhaling in defeat.

I knew what she wanted to say and Merlin I would be lying if I said I didn't feel it too. But I didn't want her to say it out loud because if she did, then I wouldn't have it me to give her up. And as much as I hated to, one day I had to let her go, but right now, I was too selfish to think about the future.

In this moment, I just wanted to bask in the warmth that her body provided.

I felt her mouth open and close again as she confided, “In another life.”

I didn't think it was possible, but I hugged her even more, trying to keep her close to me — to my heart. Pressing a kiss on the top of her head, I promised. “In another life.”

A/N - This is so fucking sad and ik y'all hate me rn but you're gonna get smut pretty soon.

See you tomorrow!
With love,
Pri